no one has been able to help me on this and I really need help on this. Its starting to piss me off.?

Question

Every damn job that I have had, someone has pointed out to me that I am defensive, strong willed or something else. As far as being/ sounding defensive- I think that I am just overly sensitive and I try to work on it, but its like I cant. I dont know how to react to certain situations to where I end up reacting negatively about it. And end up hating everyone there. As far as strong willed- I dont see anything wrong with it other than it may seem that I may on the attack of that person when speaking to them. I dont mean to come across that way...I really dont. I just want to tell them to get my point across. I just cant take constructive critism well I guess.

I really dont know why I am this way. I cant explain it. I am so tired or people complaining about me, telling me that same **** over and over, my mom not wanting to listen to me and telling me that I whine and complain too much when she complains too and I have to hear about it

Any suggestions?

Answer 1

You sound like a girlfriend of mine. There's nothing wrong with you. Just try to keep your mouth shut and not blurt out what you think unless asked. I know it's hard, I have a problem not saying what's on my mind. Sometimes it's better to keep our mouths shut. I know it's hard to imagine that someone WOULDN'T want our opinions! lol.

Answer 2

Everyone has issues at some time, how we resolve them is whats important.
When situations are left unresolved, it can resurface later.
An example of this is called "displacement of agression." Perhaps a person has a bad day at work, and rather than dealing with it there. He takes it out on his family. (been there!)
Just a guess, but maybe being proactive in relationships, as opposed to being reactive, might help.
Your question by its nature is something that really can't be answered in a few short sentences.
However, being aware of your strengths and weaknesses is the first step in conquering them! Lastly, being "over sensitive isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's what you do with it. Good Luck!

Answer 3

Ever stop to think that maybe these people are right? If different people keep telling you the same thing over and over again, they are most likely right. You probably are too defensive. Sometimes if you're in a situation where you feel like you're being attacked or whatever, it's best to just stop, take a deep breath, count to ten, and smile. I know, because I'm just like you. People tell me all the time that I'm stubborn and I get worked up over stupid stuff, and it's true. That's just WHO I AM. I have worked on making myself better, but there are times when I can't control my personality, and people have just got to realize that.

Answer 4

I was kind of like that when I was younger and first getting jobs (and getting fired or quitting all the time). I later developed anxiety problems and had to take an anti-anxiety/anti-depressant which actually mellowed me out a LOT and I get along with people a lot better now. It may just be a chemical imbalance or something. After I started taking the medication (for me Zoloft worked best) I have had a stable steady job for a while now, get along really well with everyone (even my parents amazingly enough) and things are going well. It might be something to look into if you are having a really hard time controlling your emotions. You sound like you might have that problem. I hate to advocate going to medication right away but it certainly worked well for me. Perhaps talking to a psychologist would help. They may have better solutions like role-play etc. Good luck, I think age and maturity also help so it may get better for you eventually.

Answer 5

Well I can see how that can be a huge problem because we need to interact with other people constantly at work and in our personal life. So unfortunately as much as we'd like to we can't just say whatever we want or whatever pops into our brain about that person because we can hurt their feelings then we have to deal with feeling bad about ourselves. First of all are you taking good care of yourself, excercising, eating right getting enough sleep all these things affect your moods and how you feel. When we feel good it shows on the outside as well as on the inside. Secondly try to give yourself a couple of seconds to process what someone is telling you, don't always assume their critizising maybe its just an opinion which their entitled to just like you're entitled to yours. We all make mistakes and many times what we say is not really what we mean, sometimes its best to just forget it its not worth the aggravation and the getting upset and raising your blood pressure. When you adopt that attitude things just slide off literally life's too short to be angry. I don't know if my answer helps you at all but hang in there and take care of you things should work themselves out. People always remember what you've do "lately" so the past is the past and it will be forgotten if you make a concious effort to change your ways.

Answer 6

Your worse critique is your best recommendation! Criticism is a big problem with the younger generations now, who react to drastically to the opinions of others. Try being more open minded and view thing as if you were an observer having no preconceived opinions. In this way you can see the matter at hand for what it is.

At long last opinions are like assholes, everbodys got one! So like Petey Pablo says; let it roll off, like the water on the feather of a Ducks back , let it roll off!

Answer 7

When in doubt keep your mouth shut. If some one at work says something that your don't like don't react that second give it a day and I you still feel but hurt about it then you can talk to them usually the day will give you a chance to calm down and approach the situation in a constructive way. You can also try going to the gym it releases endorphins and usually gives people self confidence.

Answer 8

If it's bothering that much, see a doctor. There is a big difference between being self-defensive and being overly opinionated about something. Your family, when they criticize you, are more than likely trying to help you. I am assuming that every time they say something to you, you tell them all about their faults? The best thing to do, is if you do not agree with them, simply tell them, that that is their opinion, but you have you're own. Good Luck!!!

Answer 9

Well, if this is who you are and you like it, then there is no help for it. If who you are is not quite who you Want to be, then you just have to work harder at becoming that. Try pretending to be nice, accepting, less strong willed, less angry, less argumentative, etc. Try sucking up, just for the experience. You might not like it, but you may just get some decent insight into who and how you would like to be. Try the proverbial honey over vinegar and see if you draw more flies. If you don't like flies, then, well,... life ain't fair!

In any case, it might be helpful to understand diplomacy - the art of telling someone to go to He** and making them think it was their idea, and a brilliant one at that!

Answer 10

Try Drinking Eggnog through a coffee stir stick