Disappear
Kiss me while I touch your back
Everything so smooth I won't hold back
It's raining in your eyes I see...(yeah...)
Kiss your lips as I close my eyes
Smelling every season walk on by
You and me, together we'll be...(perfect)
Grab my hand pretty baby
It's been so long, not lately
I've missed you so much
I've missed you so much
Grab my skin pretty darling
It's no surprise, just a warning
I just wanna kiss you until you disappear....
Tick tock, the clock of love stops
Its time for you to go where you never ever stop
Life is just a running train
Run through my mind and sustain the pain
Kiss me goodbye once more
Disappear and go through that door
Leaving me here all alone to think about how our love will grow...
2006-11-02 03:54:03 · 7 answers · asked by chrisj7682 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
i think i would change the part about grabbing the skin that sounds painful
2006-11-02 03:58:54 · answer #1 · answered by san_ann68 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is engish your second language? It sounds a bit clumsy to me by some reason. I don't like the "pretty baby" part and "grabbing the skin". She is leaving him, so the last line should be "to think about how our life Would grow"
Don't take me seriously though, i might be wrong because i don't appreciate the style.
2006-11-02 12:57:22 · answer #2 · answered by Mondschein! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice try, however, if you want the truth it sounds quite cheesy! It reminds me of that terrible Marky Mark and the funky bunch song "Make me say Ooh!". Try to be a little bit more mature/deep and cut out all the puppy love/superficial bits.
2006-11-02 12:29:19 · answer #3 · answered by moloch2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds pretty good. Only I wouldn't repeat the same rhyming word in two consecutive sentences though.
2006-11-02 11:57:50 · answer #4 · answered by DaRkViXeN 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it, but, I would say, Touch my skin.....it's good tho
2006-11-02 12:00:22 · answer #5 · answered by emotional blonde 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Practice, practice,practice...I wouldn't quit you day job just yet..,
2006-11-02 11:59:40 · answer #6 · answered by bobemac 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's good.
2006-11-02 11:58:24 · answer #7 · answered by willis_is_40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋