Just got off the phone with one of my oldest dearest friends...he has disclosed to me that he has been "bug chasing" (unprotected sexual activity with PWLA's)
I am at a loss as to how to talk to him about this...
I dont want to end the friendship, but I am so angry that at this appears to be my only option..
Do I continue the friendship...or cut his azz loose??..how do I talk to him?...
2006-11-02 03:41:46 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Snuggles..
my apologies...typo on my part...
PLWA's...People Living With AIDS
2006-11-02 10:31:20 · update #1
Don't end things with him. He will only be more determined than ever to go out there and hurt himself (likely to spite you). Try to convince him that you are concerned. Meet him for coffee. Let him tell his side of the story as to why he wants to do this, and then he can't say that you are jumping to conclusions with your statements, or that you are judging him. Then, you can provide your points again.
Of course, there is a limit to patience, and if a person is determined to do something, there is often little that another person can do to intervene. But if he can see your care and sincerity, then it might help him to think otherwise.
2006-11-02 03:47:02 · answer #1 · answered by SB 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I had a friend like that I cared for very much. I stayed with the friendship for a long time, until I found out he had been lying to me about other things, HIV status included. (We were not sexual; he used it to get attention.)
It is like being friends with someone who is basically suicidal. Ask him why he is suicidal, and see where that goes. If it helps him, great.
If not, you have to decide how much you wish to tolerate and if that means cutting him loose, then that's OK. Do what is best and healthy for you.
2006-11-02 04:13:47 · answer #2 · answered by Cub6265 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Frankly, I don't know what to tell you. Even though the meds can prolong the lifespan of people with HIV for many years now, to me it is still nothing more than a slow suicide.
Tell him straight out, that when you are friends people hope to be friends for life. While it is his decision to kill himself(and that is exactly what it is, make no mistake) it is very selfish to not consider how this will affect others he claims to love and call friends. If you can't stand there and watch him self-destruct, tell him so.
2006-11-02 03:48:16 · answer #3 · answered by IndyT- For Da Ben Dan 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Something is obviously causing him pain - ending the friendship will only make that pain worse. I say get face to face and have a talk with him and try and be the friend that helps him see this is not a good idea.
2006-11-02 04:00:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Self-hatred (internalized homophobia) is at the root of this behavior. He needs therapy, not to lose his friends. But realistically it is most likely that no one will be able to snap him out of this before he seroconverts and we will have one more person spreading a disease that could have been eradicated in the 80's with a little personal responsibility and a dab of self-esteem.
2006-11-02 04:42:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I personally would have to tell him I could not sit and watch him commit suicide like that.
I can not believe that anyone would want to die so horribly. A bullet would be quicker and less painful.
2006-11-02 04:22:54 · answer #6 · answered by ♂ Randy W. ♂ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he needs someone like you to educate him on how unsafe this type of behavior is.
Don't cut him loose, be a friend and save him.
2006-11-02 03:51:26 · answer #7 · answered by Yikes! 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i would tell him what you think
it seems that he is in a low in his life
not worried about death
he sounds like he needs a bit of gidance
if you can not give it piont him in the write direction
i would not do anything with this guy i man sexualy
i know you said he was your friend
but just make sure you know it may not be safe
2006-11-02 03:52:46 · answer #8 · answered by Zara3 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i study a piece of writing about it, i imagine pertaining to malicious program chasers in austrailia. one guy who became a chaser became interviewed. some human beings in basic terms quite have a lack of existence desire. possibly those malicious program chasers hate that they are gay and be conscious getting AIDS because the suitable punishment for his or her 'sin'? that is the in basic terms component i visit imagine of for this stupid theory.
2016-12-05 11:23:27 · answer #9 · answered by snelling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have my sympathy. my best friend is hiv poz and he still continues to have unprotected sex to my horror. i loathe that he's putting others at risk, but everyone has personal responsibility. so while i disapprove, i still love him and i'm there for him if he needs me. as long as your friend acts like a friend to you stick around. maybe one of these days he'll "get it" and change his behavior, thats my great hope anyway. good luck!!!
2006-11-02 03:47:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋