how do you stop yourself hating someone.?

Question

I feel i really hate this couple next door who are bullies and liars and intimidating. I do not like feeling like this, how do i stop hating them.

Answer 1

just dont get involved with them

Answer 2

If you've hurt someone and you are truly sorry( as you obviously are). The first steps to take are to apologize to the person that you've hurt. Then give them the time to forgive you. The next thing you need to do is to forgive yourself. Realize that you are human and we all make mistakes. You can't beat yourself up over something that has already happened and you can't change. You can though forgive yourself, pick yourself up, and learn from your mistake. Nobody is perfect and at one point or another we will either hurt someone or we will be hurt by someone. I'd love to help you out a lot more. Do you think it's possible for you to explain the situation a little more in detail? If you cannot explain in more detail that's okay... but please remember what I said above! Keep your chin up!! :)

Answer 3

Maybe take some time out alone and work through your emotions. I'm sure that the couple think they are good people doing the right thing.
You may well find yourself hating them, feeling anger towards them, annoyance that they affect you this way, sadness, pity and perhaps compassion.

I can't really say much more as you don't give much info in your question.

I remember how a bully was once confronted by people above him. He ended up crying, and rather than feel triumph I felt sorry for him. Strange isn't it?

Answer 4

Hate is just a feeling. You can start by changing your attitude towards them. First pretend that you don't really know who they are because you don't. You haven't gotten the chance to get to know them yet so do it. Maybe bring them a nice dessert. It'll give you a chance to open the doors to something more between them and you. You can also compliment them on something about them or of theirs that they have. For example if they have a nice car or the house decor looks good, etc. Even "bullies" can be friendly if you allow them the opportunity. Love thy neighbor and also kill them with true kindness. That has always worked for me regardless of who they are or how scary they may be.

Answer 5

it is basically impossible to stop hating someone, maybe try and get to know them better. have a social event with them but even this may not help. not everyone gets on with everyone else because we are all different and so we live differently. it is not shameful to hate someone it is how you handle that hate that can make it shameful. if you leave them alone as much as possible and just concentrate on your life it will be fine, if they get out of hand towards you discuss it with them but if you ever feel like being abusive back step back and dont get involoved because it will only make it worse. maybe get someone else, such as the police, to just talk with them.

Answer 6

They sound horrible people. I would want to avoid them myself.
But hate is a powerful emotion and as such takes up a great deal of emotional time and resources.
For your own sake tell yourself that they are not worthy of so much of your precious energy. Content yourself to disliking them, even (in your own thoughts) laughing at them.
Stay away from hate, like love it can become an all consuming passion, and believe me, they are not worth it.

Answer 7

Can understand your predicament, I'm in the same boat, I have neighbours who deliberately wake me every hour during the night between my 17 hour days. But hate takes effort and degrades you and your health, don't give them the satisfaction, you don't need to forgive them but just take the power back. When you're just about to fall asleep tell yourself that YOU matter, and what your neighbours are doing they are doing because they are fools. You know the saying, if hate docks, love can't land!

Answer 8

The only thing you can do is to love them back. Try to see the sad, lonely and hurt people that they must be to treat others the way they do. Try very hard to love them in return. It will break down their defenses and bring out the human side of them. This is simplistic I'm afraid, but perhaps you can see the base logic.

Answer 9

Difficult one. I got this quote in my email today from the Buddha
(apparently). It's about anger, but I guess it relates to hate
the same way. Think about it...

"Holding anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of
throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."

Answer 10

JUst relax and go ahead and hate them. Later you will get used to the feeling and be able to react towards them without emotion.

Answer 11

I never hate, simply have no energy to deal with this. Give up this feelings and you will feel better. Do not allow your self to lower on their level. If you consider yourself better than they, then be better, ignore, do not bother. It's their life, their way. You are you, and have your way. Be more positive, it works.