Why do I feel like I can't let him go?

Question

Ok, no "smart answers" please! I am just trying to find out if how I feel is normal. I've been married to the father of my two and a half year old daughter for almost three years. However, he has a history of drinking, abusing alcohol, and making me and my daughter upset. Also, I bring in all the income and do everything around the house . I have left him several times and keep on comming back because the only place I have to go is my fathers house and I can't stand it there either. Recently, my ex-boyfriend and first love had contacted me. All of the sudden feel like I love him again and gave up on him too easily. My husband found out I had been talking to him again two nights ago. He said either stop talking to him or end our marriage. I said I would stop talking to him. Ever since that night he has been helping me with our daughter and helping around the house. Maybe I have made the right choice, but I still feel like I love my ex, why???

Just a side note: My husband has a tendancy to "be good" for a few days and then he goes back to his old ways. My ex has come in and out of my life several times and I don't know why. Last time we were together I told him that I wanted to keep my daughter. He wanted nothing to do with me then. Now he wants to meet my daughter and take us out and buy her things. He works really hard for a living too(unlike my husbad). However, I'm afraid he might hurt me again too. I am also afraid that if I cut all ties with the ex that if I do decide to leave my husband for good, I will have missed my chance to make things right with my ex again....I can't understand why I feel this way, please help!!

Answer 1

So your husband doesn't work?? What's going on here ??? I really think you should try to work it out with your husband one last time and if he messes up again Then you need to leave him...He really doesn't sound like a good husband..And just because Now he just started helping you because he found out you were talking to someone else doesn't mean he 's a changed man...You and your daughter don't need this kind of stress...Move on if he's no good

Answer 2

You need to think about your daughters future if you are not going to think about yours.

Why is it you feel you have no where to go when you are the bread winner in the family and you pay all the bills? Kick him out. Once abusive will be abusive again. He is just playing you right now until it blows over. He will return to his normal self again, just wait. Why should he be other than kissing your feet right now, You provide for him!

Your child deserves a stable home and atmosphere to be raised in. She does not deserve the abuse. She did not ask to come into this world and have to live a less than perfect lifestyle. You deserve more than you are giving yourself credit for.

You need to consider what you want for you and your daughter. If there is a chance that you can get rid of the bad and replace it with the good then you need to consider just that.

Life is too short to have to put up with stuff you really don't have to put up with.

Think about it.

Answer 3

I think how you feel is definately normal. Your hubby and you have had problems for a while and he probably will only help you now cause he realized that there are other men that will want you. why did you break up with your ex? remember there was a reason, try to get an education so that you can take care of yourself, rather than being dependent on a man. then you can take your time inn meeting someone rather than going from man to man.

Answer 4

because no woman want to be treated like a dog your husband is not treating you with respect if i was you i would leave him and figure out what i want your ex might be right for you but remember you are married and need to end this before you make a new relationship don't jump to fast do some heavy thinking and make the right choice

Answer 5

Because you know your hubby is a loser and that your probably better off with the ex. Your hubby may be helping out NOW...but him helping out is NOT who he is..he is just afraid you will leave him for the other dude and he is trying to straighten himself out. The real hubby will be back once he think you have completed gotten other dude out of your system. YOU need to get the self esteem you need to handle your business and do whats right for you and your child. Save money and get your own place if need be and stop using the loser as a crutch.

Answer 6

It may very well be because your ex treated you better than your husband does. Be careful, while your husband is being helpful right now, it won't last. You're obviously in a bad situation, and need to re-think your decision before it's too late!

Answer 7

Wow! Okay, so your husband has dependency issues, but he can be a challenge, and you have an ex that appears to be no challenge IMHO.

I think you need to learn that you can make it on your own without a man in your life and be happy on your own. Get a divorce, but don't jump into another relationship that will likely prove unfulfilling.

Answer 8

if you love your ex then that's fine....but you need to stop thinking about your needs, and think about your daughter's. If you are bringing in the money than good for you- now move out and get a plae by yourself (and daughter). You'll never know who you truly want until you are by yourself...don't reley on your ex or husband for emotional support...then you will know who you truly love...

Answer 9

maybe your husband needed a wakeup call. he see theres another man in the picture, now he is afraid, so he is more helpful and involved. ask your husband to attend marriage counseling with you, if he refuses, then maybe he is not serious about working it out with you

Answer 10

well u r married and theres akways divorce so dont b acting like a victim and u dont need to drag somebody else in the middle