They make demands to you after they have been caught having an affair but they do nothing to gain the trust back. My wife is doing just that she tells me what I need to do but when I ask her to do things so that I can gain trust back into her, she will not do anything. Why are some reasons why she would not be willing tom compromise at all?
2006-11-02 03:11:43 · 15 answers · asked by ACE 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ever ask yourself why you're cheating on eachother in the first place? Maybe it's time to move out and on?
2006-11-02 03:15:54 · answer #1 · answered by INSANE SUGARPUFF 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen ACE,
I don't know why your wfe's interest level in you and your marriage got so low that she cheated on you (I am assuming you either weren't respectful, affectionate or a challenge because you say she is making demands of you as a condition for remaining in the marriage), but... people with "integrity" don't cheat. If she had integrity, she'd have divorced you before jumping into the sack with somebody she found more interesting.
Now, it sounds like you have some work to do if you want to meet the right kind of woman and keep her in your life (This describes about 90% of all men, so don't take it the wrong way), but I'd be willing to bet a new Mercedes that a "blissful" marriage is not in the cards for the two of you, and you have to decide how long you want to go on being unhappy (or maybe you only pay attention to your own needs, so you are only unhappy when she makes it clear she is unhappy? ).
Note:
50% of all marriages in the USA end in divorce, and 66% of the divorces are initiated by women, so women are more likely to take steps to end a marriage where they are unhappy.
2006-11-02 11:29:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
omg! dude you got to be a sucker to let your wife play you into that position. she cheated on YOU!! why the hell would you ask her what you need to do to make up to her?? you didnt do anything wrong, why the hell are you apologising. she's the one feeling guilty, not you. she'll just keep cheating on you and making you feel its your fault. gosh dont be such a wuss!
your question: why isnt she willing to compromise?
answer: because you are being a doormat. there is no compromise! either she shapes up or kick her out! you are being soft, so she will just walk all over you.
2006-11-02 11:19:14 · answer #3 · answered by unkerpaulie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like she's got her mind on other things and doesn't care whether or not you trust her. That is usually a result of a woman being given free reign to do what she wants and never facing consequences. My suggestion would be a trial separation. Date other women... She'll straighten up then... BUT... if she doesn't you need to let her go. Or you could try marriage counseling.
2006-11-02 11:18:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off....you should not be asking her to do things just so you can gain your trust back....that's a little immature....but on the flip side, she should do what you ask just to stay in your good grace. If she wants to fight or complain to you about changing, then you let her go. It's quiet apparent that she doesn't want for you to trust her if she's being a bit hard-headed.
2006-11-02 11:18:51 · answer #5 · answered by momaddo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not all women and more than likely your wife isn't interested in you anymore. If she wanted to make ammends with you then she would do whatever it took to get you back and try to start over again. So my suggestion to you is to talk it over with her and if you can't come to a solution then maybe you need to start making other plans.
2006-11-02 11:17:51 · answer #6 · answered by miss_lady6980 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is trying to put all the blame and guilt on you. Your wife probably feels to shame for her actions, and wants to make it look like they are a cause of something you have done. Do not let her get away with this. This is her fault. Do not let her forget it.
2006-11-02 11:17:03 · answer #7 · answered by Bill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the one who is giving her that option by letting her act like a self centered spoiled little bioootch. If she REALLY was sorry for what she had done, she would be understanding of your feelings, she would care and she would be trying to make it up to you. I will about guarantee you with an attitude like she has, she will cheat again. Talk is cheap, her actions are showing what she is really about.
2006-11-02 11:17:39 · answer #8 · answered by kandekizzez 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry for your pain, you guys need joint counselling to get over both your problems and to see if the marriage can be saved.
2006-11-02 11:16:15 · answer #9 · answered by picture 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, you're lucky she even stayed with you. If I was her you'd be gone gone gone. Cheating is for people that have no power of conviction.
2006-11-02 11:16:39 · answer #10 · answered by St.Anger 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋