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My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now and he recently told me he had a one night stand two years ago when I went away. He said it meant nothing and the girl he slept with is a foreigner. We've been talking about marriage for a while but now I don't know anymore. I mean I love him with all my heart and I know he loves me but I don't know what to do. I understand that during that time we were going through difficult times we just started out but still thats no excuse for what he did. I am still very much upset but part of me still wants to work it out but I don't trust him anymore. Please help me!!

2006-11-02 03:00:23 · 13 answers · asked by lovely peach 1 in Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

13 answers

I think a lot of it depends on what type of person you are and if you can ever really get over it. I'd like to think I can get over stuff like that but I really can't. I found out an old boyfriend of mine had once slept with a prostitute in Germany (she was Asian) BEFORE I had met him. It was very out of character for him and he explained why he did it and that it was during a time that he was depressed about the breakup with his ex-fiance. I thought I was fine with it but it stuck in the back of my mind and never went away.

Every time we fought about something I couldn't help myself and I'd bring up the prostitute story and how I thought he was disgusting for it. I developed a complex and kept thinking he would be happier with an Asian girl because he had gone so far as to pay for one. I was always slightly mad at him because of my insecurity. The relationship didn't work out in the end and I partially blame it on the fact that I couldn't deal with something he had done in the past even though he had never cheated on me.

You should put off talking about marriage until you've had more time to deal with this. Do you think you'll ever be able to forget about it? If you can't fully get over it then it will probably come up again in the future. It might not be worth staying in a relationship where you hold something against the other person. You may find that you're still bothered by it 5 years from now and then what? You might just wish that you had left him sooner. If you're determined to make it work, it sounds silly but counseling might help. It can help you deal with the anger. Some people have a really hard time getting over things even if they really want to.

2006-11-02 03:25:43 · answer #1 · answered by Pico 7 · 0 0

at least he actually admitted it ... well i think that u should leave it in the past i mean that was two years ago and if you guys have still been together a year after the incedent then that tells me that he really dose love you ..or else he wud of been gone since a long time ago ...so i think that u shud trust him and good luck

2006-11-02 03:05:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Well if he didn't tell you, you wouldn't have reason not to trust him, right? So that was two years ago and if you want a healthy relationship you should be able to forgive him and move on since he was able to come forward and admit to his wrong. Everybody has skeletons...

2006-11-02 03:04:39 · answer #3 · answered by donise225 3 · 0 0

I don't think you should have anything to worry about. He obvioulsy felt guilty and needed to get the air cleared by telling you. I think it showed trust to tell you. You were just beginning the relationship when it happened. Either forgive and forget or move on.

2006-11-02 03:06:50 · answer #4 · answered by angie a 3 · 0 0

People do make mistakes. If you love him, you can work through it. Give him another chance, just dont rush into marraige yet. Explain to him that he is going to have to gain his trust back with you, and hope that he is telling you the truth.

2006-11-02 03:03:56 · answer #5 · answered by Kaleigh P 3 · 0 0

That depends on if you can truly and whole-heartily forgive him. He was honest with you and now you need to be honest with yourself. If you think you would ever "throw this in his face" for some reason later down the road then you'll never forgive him.

2006-11-02 03:04:58 · answer #6 · answered by Kitty 1 · 0 0

he is a moron for admitting it 2 years later. But he definitely wouldnt even bring it up if he was still thinking of or is cheating on you. Let the man slide on this one.

2006-11-02 03:45:15 · answer #7 · answered by scott nj 23 2 · 0 0

Let sleeping dogs lie.

Once is a mistake, twice is a habit.

2006-11-02 03:03:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I recently had an Aids test; you should both get HIV tested and

if you are both O.K, I would say, go for it. He did apologize;

sometimes men think with their _____es.

2006-11-02 03:03:46 · answer #9 · answered by judy f 3 · 0 0

if you truly love him with "all" of your heart then what could you do other than forgive him? Please, stop confusing sex with love. Just because they are related does not mean they are the same.

WK

2006-11-02 03:05:23 · answer #10 · answered by olin1963 6 · 0 0

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