The "sahm" wife and SEX?

Question

We used to have crazy, kinky sex. Two kids later (both under three years old), she has slowly got away from the toys and the games. Its like I am haveing sex when I was 18 years old. I still want to explore and play with my wife. And NO, I am not wanting a orgy by no means, I want to role play, she wear lingerie under her clothes when we go out, talk dirty...etc... But now she just wants to feel me, my breathe on her neck, soft touching...etc....OK.. I do these things that she wants. Now, for a year, it has turned into how she wants it everytime we have sex. What about how I want it? I find myself noticeing other weoman and fantasizing. My sex drive is in high gear and I constantly want to take it to different levels. She knows how I feel and think on the sex thing. We had a talk that turned into a fight last week about it. She said talking dirty made her sick, toys (excluding vibrator) made her sick, she thinks she is to fat for her lingerie. So I baged up and thru it out. What to do?

I do complement her body. In fact I tell her she is way to hot for me. I have a feeling that she is intimadated with me, sexually.

OK...I am the foreplay king, she says I try to run sex marithons when we have sex. As far as throwing ot all that stuff. I can afford more if she changes her mind. And for giving her what she wants, I HAVE, I HAVE NEEDS TO, IT IS NOT ALWAYS ABOUT WHAT YOU GALS WANT ALL THE TIME!!

Answer 1

Women's wants and needs change over time. Life gets busy and sometimes we don't get a chance to tell each other how much we love our spouses, maybe she looks to this kinds of sex as a way for her to feel loved.It would be good for ya'll to spend the day together expressing your love. maybe then she will come around and realize that just because she has had kids and gained a little weight you still desire her and need her.

Answer 2

You have to understand that sex for women is different than for us. in the beginning they can be just as hot, just as interested because it is new and exciting.

After marriage and two kids what you did before no longer is appealing to her because it has become known the familiar. It is most difficult for men to understand how that can change. We always are ready, able , and more than willing.

What your wife needs now is your affection not sex. The more you do it shows how much you care for her and love her and respect her needs. Intercourse is very important to a man. It is one of the least important to most woman. They get turned on by your attention. The kissing of her neck telling her how sweet she is and how you love her. These are very important to her.

What has happened to you is very normal. Actually if you have sex once a week you should be kissing her shoes.

What ever you do.....don't go running around. This solves nothing and will only make things far worse. Talk with her....without fighting about it.....and find out what she wants. This will be hard because most really don't know for sure. But you can be sure your kids will fit in their somewhere. Baby sit them for a day and you will know that.

If she has lost the fun for all the kinky stuff you must respect that. Hard to do I know but no matter how much you want it there will be no way she can bring it back. Just because you feel like you have lost your lover does not mean that you have.

Do the feel thing. Never let up with it and invent new ways and you will get back to where you hope to be. Things change and we must be able to adapt to them.

Answer 3

I'm not reading the link, but the quote is accurate. If you are married, and your partner wants sex, unless it's painful or something, yes, you should have it. First of all, even if you aren't in the mood, usually you will get in the mood and it will feel good. More importantly, why would you want to reject the person you're married to? At the worst, it's a loving act that makes him or her feel good. It will keep a bond between you that he/she can share with nobody else. Do you want your SO to be happy? Or would you rather them be longing for sex and deny them the only outlet available? It's not like they can go elsewhere, can they? Unless you are on a power trip of some kind or want to punish your partner, have sex. If you are, get out of the relationship.

Answer 4

You sound like a considerate guy. So if you're doing what I'll suggest forget I said anything.

Keep comlementing her and telling her you love her. Complement the tings she does like after every meal she prepares tell her it was delicous. Help her with house work. With two young kids she must be pooped. Buy her flowers or little gifts for no particular reason. Listen to her when she talks to you. i mean really listen most of the time people think they're listening but they really aren't. Also give her some space and just let her know you're there for her. She maybe be feeling like she's a mom now and she may not be comfortable with all those sexual activities you talked about. You "A mom shouldn't be doing this sort of thing. It's too naughty..." But if you keep loving her and showing how much you appreciate her she will come around. It just takes time.

Best of luck

Answer 5

Well, considering all that you said, maybe you can consider what she is doing in regards to being a stay at home mom and raising children. Maybe you can lighten her load and do more in regards to the children and maybe some house hold chores. Maybe she is way too tired to have sex so that sex has become more of a chore in stead of an enjoyable thing. I will suggest that if you don't want this situation to get any worse (meaning more children) then you may want to look into some medical procedures to keep you from being fertile (vasctomy) and pick up more of your wifes duties around the house and give her some resting time. maybe that will help to spark things between you two again.

Answer 6

That is a retarded question!
If she was into that stuff before she is not going to say it is sick now! And in no way do I believe you would throw it out! That stuff is too expensive!
You guys have two very young children and she had probably gained some weight and stuff and is tired all the time.......So at this point you can either shut-up and give her what she wants or run the risk of not getting any at all!
I would say the choice is yours............Hope you make the right one!

Answer 7

you need not to tell her what shes doing wrong .....but try telling her shes pretty that she looks sexy her body looks great make her feel good .......Mommy's some times have a hard time feeling sexy and when you don't feel sexy the sex begins to suck ............start from there make her feel sexy again try leaving the kids with a sitter one night and set the room up and by all kinds of oils and flavored lubes foods you can play with together have fun but most important is making her feel like a sexy goddess again that's a must by her flowers rub her shoulders seduce her all over again that also can be fun .........................good luck

Answer 8

I think she needs some time a way from the kids.. if you have family that can take them over night that would be great.. and you need to explain to her your needs in a gentle way not demanding.. good luck..

Answer 9

wow i wish my b/f was like u!!! but kids slow u down and wear u down!! i have a 2 yr old and all day i want sex while hes at work and by the time she goes to bed hes wore out and so am i! bein a mom changes u mentally and physically!! u dont feel like a sexy wild teen up to do anything!! but you can help her feel like that,, encourage her she is beautiful,u love her body and all the flaws ur children did to her!! give her wat she wants and when she gets it, its ur turn!! but wat is she not doin sexually for u, to fantasize about other women??

Answer 10

Compliment her body. Make her feel good about herself. Do something that makes her life easier. Then she will feel grateful and more willing to do what you want for a change.