I been married to him for over 11years, we three kids , more bad times than good times, but i don't want just give up on him. I left him because he just can't be faithful. He not even good at cheating. He always gets busted. Yet I am growing tired and know I deserve better. He believes all man cheat, it nature. What do you guys think? GET USE TO HIM CHEATING CAUSE THEY ALL DO IT.
2006-11-02 02:56:00 · 38 answers · asked by much2deep 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Nope...
Dump the rat..
Find a loyal caring husband to care for you in a manner you wish to live...
2006-11-02 02:58:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your title speaks volumes! You can't say All Men cause there are alot of good ones. I'm more worried about your kids! Both of u are changing them, from what they could be to clones of u both. Fighting, yelling is just not good for the kids.
Have u ever tried marriage counseling? Would he go? Either way u need to have a plan. If u decide it's over, one u have to have the money to support u & them. Cause if u think, he'll take care of your younguns... think again.
But the first thing is U, get U together. Start taking better care of U, overweight then start healthy eating and excersing. Bring the kids into it. This could be the first step for your new family w/out Dad. Whatever u do, don't tell them what f/up he is. In time they will see all too much. Hopefully, he'll wake up and start to be at least a decent dad. U had these kids together so in time you'll have to compromise on raising them.
Honey life is Way, way too short to waste anymore time on a loser who has ZERO respect for U & his KIDS! U might not be able to leave right away, but start up a new POBOX, Checking etc... if u don't have credit, start establishing it. Do your darnest to pay bills on time. Start saving every penny you can by making simple, tasty one pot meals. There are lots of free things to do in just about any town in the USA.
I bet when u and the kids get fit, find new activities rather than sitting around and being miserable. People will come in your life. Remember u don't need any person to be HAPPY. U make yourself happy or miserable. IT's a choice. The bottom line is U are worth it. But those innocent, probably angry kids are so oooo worth it. 11 years is enough to put them through.
Now is the time to start anew and repair. A good counselor can reallly give u the support u need to change ur lives. Forget trying to change the scum bag, he has no morals nor values. Good luck, tough road but you and your kids will be so much better off. You just gotta plan an be in a financial position to make it.
2006-11-02 03:56:39 · answer #2 · answered by Staci 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all men cheat (I don't), but a lot of men do cheat. If you can live with it get use to it, if you can't then leave him because it will happen again. You can find out why he's doing it, or join him in sin. He may stop if he thinks you are going to start cheating too, suggest an open marriage (I wouldn't do this personally), tell him he gets the use of the whores he being seeing and you get the use of the stud down the street.
P.S: You don't have to follow though just make him think you are willing to do this.
2006-11-02 03:05:26 · answer #3 · answered by Daddy Big Dawg 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say always like he does it all the time. And by him saying that all men cheat is a way for him to keep you and for you to let him to continue to have his cake and eat it too. He also says this because he wants you to think that if you leave him, that you will find someone who will do it to you, since "all men cheat". The best thing you can do, especially since you have kids, is to leave him. First off, what would that be teaching them, to put up with someones crap and seeing their mother frustrated and unloved? And it is better to come from a broken home, than to live in one(Dr. Phil). And the excuse of people staying together for the kids, is a total cop-out...there is a life after divorce. My advice, leave him, you deserve alot better. There are men out there who would love you and not do this to you and your children. I don't know why women/men would put up with someone doing this to them....it is not good for anyone. Good luck! :)
2006-11-02 03:24:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Absolutely not. Not all men cheat. He's just using that excuse to justify his own actions. He's just a pig.
You're doing the right thing by leaving because he already left you by stepping outside the boundaries of your marriage. How is this OK?
Cheating is not a positive thing. It's corrupt and causes a lot of problems. It stirs up anger and jealousy and sometimes it can even lead to murder!
In my opinion, I think they should make adultery illegal. People back in biblical times would get stoned for that kind of behavior. Sometimes, I wish it were like that today.
2006-11-02 03:13:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No! not all men cheat...sounds like either he is really not into you! or he is a very detached personality...Men who marry women and cheat are usually doing it so that they can show the world that they are stable and married ...it could be looks? it could be he is highly sexual and you are not giving it to him? Men will stray when the women is not taking care of his needs...i think it's natural but..not all men would do that right away, but most men probebly cannot stand it anymore...
for a real man not to cheat ..a woman should be like a goddess!
I think you better take care of his sexual needs and if he is sleeping around you better make sure you don't catch any STD!!!
2006-11-02 03:08:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no all men do not cheat,and it is true u deserve better.his response should tell u what u can expect from him in the future, he doesn't even see that it is wrong.he shows no remorse, he just shows that he is selfish and will keep doing exacly as he wishes, i don't see that there will be any changes in him. u need to set boundaries, the boundaries are for u, not him. set the boundaries, be crystal clear to him what you will do if he continues to cheat, save some money, get a plan, and a good support system. ask him if he is willing to go to therapy, if not than he really isn't interested in saving the marriage.
2006-11-02 03:01:37 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ummm, that is a pretty unfair statement to make. Sounds like your needs to give his head a shake. He cheats because you let him, over and over and over again.
No different then a kid getting grounded. Ground them an let them off, they repeat again. Why????? Because you failed to follow through on the punishment. Over time they learn that there really is not penalty for their actions.
Put this goof in his place, and follow through on it. If he thinks all men cheat then maybe you should check to see if he likes to swing on a tire in the back yard and eat banannas. Cause he has not quite at the same stage of evolution as "Real Men Are"
2006-11-02 03:11:15 · answer #8 · answered by SRC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all i am curious about to know is that are u financially dependant on ur 'husband' ? If yes, then why?? Does he pay u good enough for this **** u have been taking from him??
u say u have 3 kids ...what example r u setting for them by behaving like a parasite of a pig himself...
all men r not like that .... and no one has the birthright to make u go through this.... I feel 11 years is a little too much and it is u yourself to be blamed on this sorry state of ur family.. cause u r still allowing ur husband to use u as a doormat
2006-11-02 03:09:21 · answer #9 · answered by dipti p 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep in mind no one can hurt you unless you allow them to. Also ,you two have three kids. What lesson are they learning from this. If girls are you showing them that its ok for a man to step out on them. If males then are you showing them that that's what they should do when they get married. Our Children learn from us.
I delt with a cheating husband in my past marriages.of 10 yrs 3 weeks and 4 day and a few hours) The first time we went to counseling the second time ( a few months later I mad him a part of my past!)
Food for thought. what one man don't another man does.
One mans trash is another mans treasure. which are you to him trash or treasure?
2006-11-02 03:09:00 · answer #10 · answered by Grown Lady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am not a guy, but if u believe that then u will continue to go thru it. he hjust wasn't right for u. and if he believes that all men cheat he gave up on hiself. now say divorce. keep in touch and be there for the children by all means. Now listen to beyonce lates and at the door put his things to da left. say goodbye to his insecure cheating ***. U r a woman and u are beautiful. look up and move on. there is a faithful guy out there, u gotta belivev and ask GOD for him
2006-11-02 03:21:51 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋