If you don't understand I'll clarify. I promised my fiance that I would always be with to him no matter what. He died just four days of our wedding, I promised him I would never find another, but I did. Should I not marry this new man in my life or should I stay single.
2006-11-02 02:51:34 · 24 answers · asked by Vamphyre 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It all comes down to whether you can accept not keeping that promise... Your guilt is all that would stop you...
2006-11-02 02:55:24 · answer #1 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your promises are:
1. Always be with him no matter what.
2. Would never find another.
I think that you still stay true to promise No. 1 and probably will always be for the rest of your life no matter what kind of people you met. By the way, did he consent to that promise?
As for promise No. 2, I assumed this was promised by you after his death? If that's the case, did he somehow during his lifetime give you an indication that he will consent to that promise? And also you should remember that this is a one way promise.
It should be noted it doesn't matter if you remarry or stay single, since you already broke promise No. 2.
2006-11-02 11:25:00 · answer #2 · answered by E A C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A promise they say is a vow.You are obliged to keep your promise to your deceased husband. But you can still go ahead and marry this new person. It doesn't necessary mean that you dont love your deceased husband but that maybe you are too yound to live a lonely life. You have technically not broken any promise because your intial promise at the altar was binding "till death do us part". Death has actually taken your spouse away and you have the option of holding to the lovely memories you had with him and pray someday you will be together or you can move on with your life (not necessary forgetting him). and always remember you can always love again as long as you are alive.
2006-11-02 11:02:59 · answer #3 · answered by King of Torts 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess part of it depends on how long it has been since he died. If you've spent a respectable amount of time mourning and working through your grief and this new guy is not just filling the void and helping you numb your pain over the loss of your husband, then go ahead with it. Anyone that truly loved you would want you to be happy and want you to find someone else to share your life with. If your husband allowed you to make that promise, he was incredibly selfish. Besides, like most promises and other binding "contracts", they are made with the assumption that the other person will continue living. Once they die the contract ceases to exist.
2006-11-02 10:57:16 · answer #4 · answered by ricktheirish1967 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you are marrying someone else doesn't mean that you're breaking a promise to him. You are always going to remember and love him, therefore you will always be with him.
Do you think that he'd want you to stay lonely and mourning for the rest of your life? If you two really did love each other, then he would want you to be happy and move on from him.
That being said... moving on from him does not mean forgetting about him because you clearly never will. It just means you have to let your life continue.
I hope this helps you decide.
Good luck and god bless!
2006-11-02 10:57:09 · answer #5 · answered by batgirlmeg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your promise that you would never find another was in the context of your deceased being in your life. He will always have a place in your heart and in your soul. He would want you to be happy. If you truly love this new man and he he makes you happy, marry him.
2006-11-02 11:01:52 · answer #6 · answered by sloop_sailor 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should marry the new man, he would understand that you need love and happiness. You will always have a place in your heart for the deceased.
2006-11-02 12:07:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the relationship and promise ended when he died,u still have a life to live, and a future. we sometimes promise things we can't keep, it isn't as if u would be cheating on him, he isn't there anymore. i am sure he would understand if u didn't want to be alone forever. got to think of your happiness now.
2006-11-02 10:56:25 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for your loss but i think that your fiance would have wanted you to be happy and not lonely and miserable ...........i am sure hes looking down on you and is happy that you are no longer alone and happy in some way .................i think when a person really loves some one some times you have to do and allow them to do what is best for them even if it hurts you ................good luck with your new man and be happy
2006-11-02 10:58:53 · answer #9 · answered by mari 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your past love would want you to be happy and move on with your life. I think you can still have him in your heart and get married to some one else. Why don't you get a locket and put his picture in it or wear your old engagement ring around your neck. Something that your past love will still be close to your heart and you won't forget him...yet you can move on and live a new life. Good luck and be happy.
2006-11-02 10:56:13 · answer #10 · answered by hard rock girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your fiance' loved you while he was here, he loves you still. But he would want you to be happy. It is your own guilt about having the right to feel love again that is holding you back. Life is for the living...live your life.
2006-11-02 10:58:16 · answer #11 · answered by angeleyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋