This year I would like to start my own traditions for my family . Here is the problem my husband has always went to his mothers for christmas because he never had his own family well now that we are married and have kids ( three step and one biological) he still wants this tradition . I like the idea of starting our own with me making dinner and letting the kids enjoy there gifts all day around the house . I should also say that there tradition has you up and at her house by nine that does not even give the kids time to really even look at there gifts . I keep trying to tell my husband that my oldest is fourteen and he will be off to college before we know it and i want him to have traditions of our own. is there any one who can help??
2006-11-02 02:43:35 · 14 answers · asked by SAHM and proud of it 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would have staid with the kids father except he walked out and my new husband was there to pick up the peices when my ex deceided to take his own life.
2006-11-02 02:55:46 · update #1
I should also ad that my husband has tried to tell his mom that we want our own traditions but she refuses to listen last year she would not let the rest of the family eat untill we hurried up and got there.
2006-11-02 02:58:16 · update #2
Try a compromise! I go to my grand children's home for Christmas morning, they come to mine on Christmas Eve. I've always felt that once my kids had their own children, they should be at home on Christmas day for the very reasons you gave; time to spend with their gifts. I now make the rounds on Christmas day to all of my children's homes'.
2006-11-02 02:54:04 · answer #1 · answered by grandm 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is a wonderful idea to start your own traditions with your family. Your husband should respect your desire to do so. Why not try to do something like spend Christmas Eve with his mom and then you have Christmas at your own home. He is not going to want to give up his tradition with his mom all together. It would just cause tension in the family if he did. Holidays are a stressful time but you can make it work if everyone is willing to compromise. Good luck!
2006-11-02 02:48:28 · answer #2 · answered by bttrfly0724 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Okay I had a similar situation and basically I put my foot down and what happens is Christmas eve we go to my mother in laws and have dinner and open presents. On Christmas day is ours and only ours. We are a family and the day of christmas we do our own thing and we don't answer the phone when we are ready to talk about who got what we call. Sooner or later they are going to have to let go and get used to the fact that you guys came together and are united now. Your husband and mother in law needs to respect you and your relationship enough to change. I have a huge split family and we split time with everyone but Christmas day it's ours! Sorry if I sound like a broken record.
2006-11-02 02:57:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Stallion is clueless and doesnt know your situation. Anyhow, it seems that your hubby is being kind of selfish. I know that for myself, I LOVE to be the hostess and hold my own holiday dinners/and parties. There is nothing wrong with you wanting your children to have a super day! You need to tell him that this year you are going to have Christmas at your house and what you do is: call his mother and invite her to your house for Christmas dinner and also the other family members that normally go to his mother's house also. Tell his mom that you would like to try it this year and tell her it will take the burden off of her for once and that she is more than welcome to bring some food (to make her feel she is doing something), and also you can tell her she can come over and help you prepare things, if you would like to.
That's how I would handle it. If you talk to her, you will get further than just talking to him about it. Explain to her also, exactly what you posted on here about your children being able to relax and enjoy their gifts, etc.
Christmas is a time for giving and sharing and if they cant seem to understand how compassionate you are about it, then something is wrong with them and they are being selfish, but just try what I suggested, it wont hurt.
Good luck!
2006-11-02 02:51:52 · answer #4 · answered by Deb 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My mother is the same way. She is a Christmas nut! She LOVES Christmas......Anyways we have always had Christmas morning at her house.........And I know it is really hard for you but the kids don't seem to mind too much. WE get up pretty early and they open their gifts from Santa and then we get dressed and head to grandmas. My sister has her kids open their gifts on Christmas eve at her house.
It is just really important to my mother and I would not have it any other way. That has became our family tradition and I am sure my kids will miss it when she is gone.
You need to think are you doing this for you or for your kids?
2006-11-02 02:50:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sound like you married moma's boy. Tell him how you feel. Even invite his mother over to share Christmas with you all at your home. Tell your husband to read the Holy Bible it says, " A man shall leave his mother and father and cling on to his wife" It does not mean that he should blow his mom off. But he should concern himself more with his wife and his house hold.
2006-11-02 02:53:57 · answer #6 · answered by Grown Lady 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
why not have your family party the day before or after the your husbands party, i don't like going to my husbands moms house so i don't.
I just hate the holidays to much family stress, some years i plan a trip over christmas skiing or just on a beach somewear it's so much more fun than being with the sad sacks at his moms house
2006-11-02 02:54:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
His mother is alaso YOUR family and your kids family. Don't start a family feud and come across as rude and trying to break up the family just because. It's his mother for Pete's sake. Kids can look at the presents the next day.
It's Christmas for heaven's sake, how many times you get to see the whole family reunited anyway.
2006-11-02 02:52:02 · answer #8 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
You are correct however your husband is not wrong for wanting
to continue his own extended family traditions...
You need to talk about it and reach a mutually agreeable compromise ...
2006-11-02 02:54:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
this may sound harsh...but tell your husband that you want it this way and if he dosent respect that then tell him you are going to cook and keep the kids at home with you and he is free to go to his mothers house without you....what he is doing is just selfish...he needs to realize that YOU are his wife and what you want is more important than what mommie wants...tell him this and mean it...good luck
2006-11-02 02:48:15 · answer #10 · answered by kimbersweet 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋