This year I would like to start my own traditions for my family . Here is the problem my husband has always went to his mothers for christmas because he never had his own family well now that we are married and have kids ( three step and one biological) he still wants this tradition . I like the idea of starting our own with me making dinner and letting the kids enjoy there gifts all day around the house . I should also say that there tradition has you up and at her house by nine that does not even give the kids time to really even look at there gifts . I keep trying to tell my husband that my oldest is fourteen and he will be off to college before we know it and i want him to have traditions of our own. is there any one who can help??
2006-11-02 02:42:48 · 12 answers · asked by SAHM and proud of it 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Christmas
we go to my side of the family on christmas eve. and I have tried to invite herto our house but last year even knowing we were fixing our own dinner she called and said that therest of the family was not eating untill we got to her house.so my husband felt bad and we hurried up and went
2006-11-02 03:06:17 · update #1
try to explain in a civilized manner to your mother-in-law, that your kids will only be kids for so long, and that you would like them to be able to enjoy their gifts on x-mas day. try to keep the tradition of going to her place on x-mas, just ask if it can be a dinner get-together, that way you and all the others in the family can enjoy a nice x-mas morning with your/their children. and you can make a nice brunch (i say brunch because at my house, the kids want to open presents before they eat, and then they are too busy looking at their stuff to eat breakfast at a normal time lol) explain to her that if you both compromise a little you both can be happy and enjoy the holiday. who knows there may be others in the family that feel the same way as you, but are afraid to say something about it. i hope everything works out for you! good luck and happy holidays :)
2006-11-02 04:27:11 · answer #1 · answered by becca 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What we do in our family, is open the gifts from each other on Christmas eve. Then in the morning, Santa fills the stockings by the fireplace with goodies and small toys (mostly goodies). Maybe that would give your kids more time to enjoy their gifts, and still have Santa (if they're young enough).
If they open the gifts right before dinner, they can play with them while you make Christmas Eve dinner. They'll be worn out by bedtime. Then the next day is still free to keep the grandma tradition. So you have a new tradition and can still keep the old.
Compromise has to happen in marriage, and holidays are always particularly tough because there's so many feelings to consider. The good news is that Christmas can easily be celebrated over two days, so you have more time. I hope you work out something that makes everyone happy. Good luck!
2006-11-02 02:56:57 · answer #2 · answered by KC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can't you do both? Can't you have Christmas breakfast and lunch and go to the family for dinner?
Eventually his parents will STOP having the tradition because they get too old and their NEW traidition might be coming to YOUR house because you have the engery to do it.
Until then, can you'd reach a happy compromise?
You'll have food for a week from your own dinner (or maybe do it on Christmas Eve and have left overs for Christmas day and then go there for a fresh new dinner) and the most you'll get at his family is a doggie bag.
Enoy the best of both worlds.
YOU are RIGHT and should start a tradition, not a Family Feud!
And ONCE you perfect it, take something to them. An apple pie you made, your own stuffing, egg nog, cookies. But only do this AFTER you perfect your own thing at home.
Heavens knows, you might have a DISASTER the first year!
You ever do up a Christmas Dinner before!
Push your ego aside, START your OWN traditions and keep the existing ones!
Enjoy family while you got it, for many are alone on Christmas. I was once at age 18 and it was no fun.
Make Christmas EVE YOUR DAY for the here and now.
2006-11-02 02:48:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honor your husbands traditions and make your own. Why not start by having a fancy Christmas Breakfast then the kids open their gifts plan to be at Grandmas by say 2. Grandma won't be around forever! Christmas Eve can also be a great day for you and your children to have a tradition. When I got married we celebrated Christmas Eve with my family and Christmas Day with his. You have to compromise, the season is for giving!!!
2006-11-02 02:54:32 · answer #4 · answered by HereweGO 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
New traditions are great but look at it this way. There may be a time when your parents or his parents are not around. I know, my dad died three years ago. I wish I had taken more time to be with him. Enjoy the time you have or let your husband enjoy the time that he has with his family now while they are here. Your own kids will come to your house when they get older also. Do you want them to just be with their wife/husband when they get married?
2006-11-02 04:00:40 · answer #5 · answered by Kim 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Create a new tradition, then!
How about integrating some of Kwanzaa's celebration, where you ponder a principle each day, for 7 days (or so)? How about what I do, I celebrate Three Kings Day with my children, where (when they were little) they left grass, and water under their beds for the camels, and the 3 Kings (3 Wise Men) left their presents under the beds.
Cook something really special, I mean, create something totally new. Put up a special, personalized ornament during a family evening, try to "adopt" a family from the Salvation Army program for the holidays, go shopping for a holiday dinner together, and donate it to your local soup kitchen...
Start a new tradition, before the hoildays bring on disappointment.
2006-11-02 02:54:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Be there for her and attempt and get her to communicate to her mothers and fathers... via her chatting with them supplies her greater innovations on wether or no longer she needs to maintain it or maybe adoption she has greater innovations now than she will later. Her mothers and fathers will locate out at last in basic terms confirm that's to no longer late. And be a stable pal and attempt and help/instruction manual her to make the innovations she needs and not what all and sundry "needs" her to do with the aid of fact she am has to handle it in an prolonged time in existence no remember what she comes to a decision... and prefer the lady earlier reported her mothers and fathers will strengthen to the belief and particular there's a raffle they'll unfastened it however the desire no longer harm her or the toddler. So motivate her to make her judgements which will income her interior the tip.
2016-10-03 05:09:23 · answer #7 · answered by catherine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not go to his parents on Christmas Eve to celebrate and then have Christmas at your house.? If his parents are not willing to do this then invite them to your home on Christmas.
We have always celebrated with family on Christmas Eve. It works out better this way for us.
2006-11-02 02:54:14 · answer #8 · answered by saved_by_grace 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell your husband he can go himself this year and that you would like to stay home this year with your kids so they can enjoy there gifts an play .. if that was me i would say bye see you later..invite your family to your place an make them a nice dinner and have fun its a 2 way street not a one way. or try inviting his mother to your house for dinner? Good Luck:)
2006-11-02 02:49:54 · answer #9 · answered by xox_crazy_xoxo 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
tell him that you guys are a family, and just for once, you would like to spend Christmas alone as a family. he could go to his parents house the day before, or the day after. Hopefully, he will compromise with you. if not, I think he still lives under mommy's dress.
2006-11-02 02:49:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋