Help Please?

Question

I live in NJ, my wife lives in MD, At first we were great together then suddenly she changed her mind to move down to NJ, and she wanted me to move there. Now she aggreed to move with me but she's making conditions. We aggreed that my credit is not so good so we will use her credit as well as mine to purchase a condo, she agreed at first and now she disagrees, and she really being real mean about it. I think this marriage is just so ****** up, she changes her mind so much and she is so disrespectful, things she says and does really hurts my feelings. i tried to work things out but everytime i do less than a week later she's gotta bring up all these demands and conditions that basically can't be fullfilled on my part what should i do?

Answer 1

Good god!!!! conditions? on love???? she is obviously either a spoiled ***** or just doesen't wanna move in with you. What kind of marriage is this? Maybe she has some one else where she lives and doesen't wanna give that up, this could explain her constand changing her mind. she talks to you and says she's moving, then she talks to him and he talks her out of it....I say you can do better than that. Set an ultimatum, tell her to make up her mind or move on! She doesen't love you, or she'd be with you!!I have moved to the states from GERMANY (!) for my hubby, he was a private in the army then and we didn't have squat....been married 12 years now! so think about it, is she worth all this drama?

Answer 2

I think you and her need to sit down and have a heart to heart talk. Tell her that her wishy-washy are not making things easier for either of you. I also think that you should really think things through as far as do you really want to be with her. See, love is not hurt-full. Even is she is sending off mixed signals. She should not say or do things intentionally to hurt you. If you do get this place together. Do you want to come home every day to an argument? That is not a healthy relationship. Home is where you should go to relax and refuel for the out side world. Not to argue fuss and fight. It will exhaust both of you out. Maybe you both should sit down and watch the movies "War of the Roses" and" Mr.and Mrs. Smith" Both of these movies are comedy but the married couples sound just like what you described above. maybe if you two watch it together you will see what can happen if you keep on the way you are going. I personally don't have the tolerance for this I would leave her and find some one who appreciates you for who you are...My head hurts just thinking about it. I am going to take some Motrin 800 mg.
Good Luck.. You need Jesus in your lives.

Answer 3

From what you've written, it doesn't sound like there's much worth salvaging in this marriage. It seems like she's trying to break it off by not moving with you. Is counseling an option? If not, you can't change her mind. Try talking to her about what is really going on her. Maybe she just needs some space for a while to sort out her feelings? It's hard to tell you what you should do, unfortunately. You should tell her how you feel, definitely. Good luck!

Answer 4

man up! put your foot down and start making conditions of your own. just because she might have better credit or even a better job does not make her the head of the house. your home needs to abide by your rules. if you cant establish this it will just get harder to do so later on. you will be miserable if you let this situation continue to stress you and you dont take steps to fix it.

be willing to walk away, that is the only way you can stand up for yourself. realise that if youre unhappy, you will make her unhappy, and it will also reflect on your job, your family and every other important aspect of your life. at this point, it sounds as though you have little to lose from a divorce except your pride (assuming there are no kids in the picture). by you being a wuss, you'll drive her into the arms of another man who wont stand for her crap, and you'll lose her anyway. its in your best interest to break off the marriage on your terms if she wont change her attitutde towards you.

with that said, you seem to need a lot of self-improvement work. read success books, associate yourself with positive friends, get marriage counselling if your wife is willing. but work on your self esteem. while i dont promote divorce, its possible that in your case it might be the best way to go, to realize your own value as a man, and as the controller of your own life

good luck bro, and stop posting the same question over and over lol

Answer 5

Not knowing the situation any better than what you have wrote here it is hard to say. So why can't you move to MD??????? What reasons did she give for not moving to NJ???? When married everything is combined, you are ONE not two separate people. You both need joint counseling if you are really serious about making a marriage work.

Answer 6

You sincerely need to tell her EVERYTHING you just said here to all of us. If that doesn't make a difference and she doesn't get the *big picture* then I say file for a legal seperation leading into a divorce. You deserve a partner in life to share with you, be with you, do with you, and just love you. You never bargained for a boss or a mother when you waited for her to walk down the isle to be your wife. Blessed be................. Good luck.

Answer 7

Fix your boundaries.

You have holes, and it sounds like you're in a Codependent relationhsip. I know how it feels it really sucks, but understand you deserve to be happy so don't let her convince you other wise.

Answer 8

I think you need to get out of this relationship. She sounds like she would do better being by herself. Don't let her contolr you like that, no one deserves to be down graded man or woman. Get out!

Answer 9

Sounds to me like you need to go ahead and get the upcoming
divorce over with...

Answer 10

She should run away and hide from you cause if she has good credit now you will ruin it