If a dad has to pay 400quid a month to CSA, and can barely live on rest of wages and is planning children with his current partner how can he do both???? and why is it fair that the other mum can claim never get off **** and work properly but work on side?? why is it fair that the responsible one has to suffer?? can someone please fill me in on the poxy CSA who leave off the arsehole dads who work and are compleate pricks and never see there kids, they get off scott free! whats happening?
2006-11-02 02:19:16 · 12 answers · asked by FINN 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
its my partner, he does everything for the child bless him, the mum is the one who is fruding to system. it makes me mad as she is fit for work but is lazy.
well she does work on the side, my partner is a really good dad and it isnt fair that we are being punished because of the mum, we want kids and will have them but how are we going todo it with this extra debt?
it really gets to me, it seems the dads that try pay, bend over backwards are the ones that cget punished but the lazy bastard dads dont get any bills argh! sorry!
2006-11-02 02:52:45 · update #1
to annie m, it is loads to pay when you think he pays for everything for the child, clothes trips food the lot! then to have that took off him aswell its like he is paying twice, he is a great dad and i hate that this is happeniong when he does everything properly. thanx for all your advice and answers tho
2006-11-02 03:11:22 · update #2
I feel for you babe, lots of things in life are unfair and this is one of them. The only thing I can think it say is that he only has to pay until she is 16 and gets a job- or if she goes to college then its 18, you will both get promoted etc in the meantime, or new jobs and earn more money, maybe in this time also the CSA will sort their act out / be scrapped or whatever and a new one in place that will be a lot better!
If you two were to have children you would get help in thr form of child tax credits and child support etc even though you both work, and you get extra help too for going back to work if you didnt want to be a stay at home mum, so in a few years or whenever you are planning on having a baby together you will be alright even with him having to pay out for his previous child.
Chin up! x
2006-11-02 03:23:53 · answer #1 · answered by Georgie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is paying £400.00 a month to the CSA, then why is he paying the extra bits too!!! Sounds like he is the silly one here-I know its his child but surely for £400.00 a month his ex partner can afford to to pay out of that for the extra bits.
I'm sure he is by the sound of it an extremely good father-possibly too good for his own good!. Tell him to get tough with the ex, that she is to provide for the child out of the money he pays the CSA, if she creates then ask her to go and get a proper job and claim working tax credit. She only has to work 16hrs a week to be able to do that and she can get help with child care costs too. That comes from a working single mum of six who only gets £71 through the CSA. I think you might find the CSA are taking money for her too because she is on income support. I also would not tolerate someone working on the side and claiming income support. It wouldn't be in my nature to let someone get away with that...whilst I agree that father's along with mother's should take responsibility for their offspring, I think there is a point where the system is grossly unfair, but then if he is giving more too on top of, then she is laughing isn't she!
2006-11-04 21:53:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I know how the child support works here in the USA. I know I have had to deal with a dad who hasn't paid his in 4 years nor seen his daughter in 6 years. So make a long story short the system is happening. Don't get me wrong I have talked to the people who are handling my case and they try as much as they can. The only problem is that there are so many cases that most child support agencies are overrun and they are having difficulties keeping up. Until society really cracks down on deadbeat parents we will always have this problem. Which is devestating for the children it affects the most.
2006-11-02 02:24:38 · answer #3 · answered by mshellrosie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a responsible one as well and above all else the child is most important. Look beyond your anger and continue to do what you need to do in order to take care of your child. The government "in my opinion" is not going to help you. They say that they want what's best for the child but they don't care. Forget about him. If he does something consider a plus if not continue to do what you are suppose to and you will be blessed. He will have to pay for not being responsible in a much higher fashion in the long run.
2006-11-02 02:25:09 · answer #4 · answered by april j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes i really understand how you feel my friend is going tho the same he has 3 kids and his ex wife will not let him see them even tho he wants to and they want to see there dad
he has to pay £400 as well and he has a new girlfriend as well
but when the baby is born the payments you boyfriend has to pay the lazy ex will go down not by alot but they will go down you can ask for the csa to means test your family and appeal against there dis icon if you send in how much you have to pay out rent etc the can do assessment on your family good luck
2006-11-02 04:00:30 · answer #5 · answered by kitthekat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband pays childsupport and we barely make it but, we are not going to give up our lives and our family because we are paying child support. The sad thing is we don't even get to see him and we pay every month plus health insurance. It does not matter to them that we have 2 kids they just want the money.
2006-11-02 02:31:12 · answer #6 · answered by marygold2012 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is having to pay so much money to help look after the children he already has and finds it a struggle.
Then he has no business planning more children with some one else if he can barley afford the ones he already has.
2006-11-02 02:26:05 · answer #7 · answered by Gossip81 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the money comes direct from his wages, sounds like you dont have much choice, but for him to carry on paying. I can see why you are peed off, but he chose to have kids with someone so he should have to pay for their upkeep. Too many men get off lightly in my opinion. 400 quid is sweet fa to bring up a child.
2006-11-02 03:06:03 · answer #8 · answered by Annie M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If someone is 'working on the side' and claiming benefits and trying to shaft a former partner, they need reporting to the benefits agency, thats fraud!
2006-11-02 02:21:49 · answer #9 · answered by SunnyDays 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This subject really gets to you doesn't it?
None of it is fair, that's why the CSA have had such bad press!
2006-11-02 02:24:22 · answer #10 · answered by C Greene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋