I was married to a man I've known since high school. After marriage, he became abusive. He drinks daily, sometimes more than a 12 pack, and I caught him cheating. On top of all of this, he was diagnosed as Bi-Polar and refuses to take his meds. He lies without thought...compulsive and accepts zero responsibility for anything...it's always someone else's fault. I would love to be the one to "bring him down". Thoughts?
2006-11-02 02:04:22 · 11 answers · asked by rivergirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why would want to waste your life trying to bring down someone who is already down by his own making ?Get yourself a new life and be happy this is the very best revenge . If not enough go to http://getrevengeonyourex.com/ believe me you will find what you need.
2006-11-02 02:16:37 · answer #1 · answered by dettie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember that the BI-polar will effect his thought patterns and perception on life. I was diagnosed with depression almost two years ago and never saw the damage my actions caused on my family until my wife dropped the hammer on me. I used to drink to excess also, It is don't to forget and hide from everything around you. I used to go through 24 CDN beers about every 2-3 days respectivly.
It has taken me a better part of two years to learn to deal with it, adjust my life and my actions. Every day is a struggle and a fight to stay "Normal" if you will. Question is what is normal and how do you know your there.
Sounds like he needs a good dose of a Kick in the **** Make your stand now and put him on notice. Either get help, or your gone. Rock bottom maybe where he needs to hit, before starting the climb back up. If he steps up and seeks help, he will need all the love, support and understanding you can give.
It is a slow process, many times they have forgotton who/what they were. They only know what they are now. It takes lots & lots of encouragement, love and support to help them rebuild into the type of person they truly are inside.
I am not going to make excuses for him. But You need to make the choice on how much you may still love this man and are you willing to be his rock. Either way he need the fall from the high horse to wake him up.
2006-11-02 10:33:07 · answer #2 · answered by SRC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The old saying goes 2 wrongs dont make a right! He will bring himself down no help from you.I think u knew all this when u married him you just are less tolerant now .You have changed too! If u think about it does take two .The drinking causes the cheating Im sure and being bipolar is mostly the booze problem .You can say they have everything mental when a alcohlic! So the main thing is if he cant stop drinking he will stay this way and u do have options for yourself.You cant control him! Good luck!
2006-11-02 10:13:53 · answer #3 · answered by jessy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the abusive and drinking, I can understand you wanting to get away from that. I know first hand how hard it is to live with someone that is Bi-polar. I do not have to deal with the cheating or lies, but you lost any sympathy when you said that you would love to be the one to bring him down... That just makes you sound vicious and vindictive. If you can not live with him because of his abuse, drinking, lies and cheating (which I wouldn't either), then you need to get out. If he is not willing to help himself by taking his meds and cutting back the drinking, then there is little you can do to help him. Leave him, divorce him, but let go of the desire to bring him down, you will never gain anything by doing that. You will only regret it later, just let that revenge part go, you will sleep better at night if you do.
2006-11-02 10:11:56 · answer #4 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a very low opinion of anyone that cheats and lies. I'm asuming that you are no longer with this man, which is great! It's good you got out of the marriage. As for "bringing him down" ..My thoughts are..Leave It be. He will bring himself down someday. i know you are probably have these feelings of"revenge" ( I know, becaue I've been there) and would love too bring this man down, but It's really not worth it..Just get on with your life, and let him destroy his own life. I was in an abusive marriage too a man that drank too much, cheated, lied..and yep, also blamed everything on someone else..so I know where you are coming from..I got out, and went on with my life. Take my advice...just let it go, eventually he will be the one too bring himself down.
2006-11-02 10:16:29 · answer #5 · answered by Rose T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If someone doesn't wanna get a life and better themselve, there is nothing you can do about it. Aside from help from family members, he has the be willing to accept help as well as admitting he's got some problem. Anyway, you said you WERE married to the guy, it's a past tense so let's just move on. Until he asks for help, it's no longer your problem,but his to figure this out.
2006-11-02 10:12:08 · answer #6 · answered by Mumbling Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have already divorced this man. ("I WAS married to a man") If this is the case, why do you care? He sounds like a bad person, but that should have no affect on your life. Do not live your life for revenge. Live your life for yourself, not some drunk from your past.
2006-11-02 10:08:53 · answer #7 · answered by Bill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it impossible to bring him down now to late i think you should leave him for some time so that he can realize what he doing if he don;t realize anything and keep on doing his stuffs then sorry to say this but you need to leave him forever move on
2006-11-02 10:19:42 · answer #8 · answered by maya 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, they ought too. Its definitely wrong and what if it was something serious that he/she lied about??? The best is the truth, no doubt it could get ugly.
2006-11-02 10:07:43 · answer #9 · answered by Chemgurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just divorce him and move on..
Get him out of your life..
Waste no more time on him..
Move on...
2006-11-02 10:07:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋