I miscarried in June. I was 10 weeks pregnant. I'm still heartsick over it. How long will I feel normal again? I have a lot of guilt and feel I have cursed my baby. I didn't want to be pregnant at all since I had 2 children and one was only 9 months old when I found out. Now, I miss my baby and wish I hadn't been so stressed and sick over this. I would give anything I could to have my unborn baby back. I'm sure things would have worked out but I just couldn't see it then.
Does anyone know if nursing possibly causes miscarriage? My son was still nursing at the time. I feel maybe I was too stressed and caused my own miscarriage. I also drank tea and maybe shouldn't have.
I've gone to the Dr afterwards to 'talk' about it. He just said I should be glad I didn't have a handicapped child since they are difficult to take care of.
2006-11-02 01:59:22 · 12 answers · asked by Just me. 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
My heart goes out to you. In November of 2005 I had a sonogram and was told that I was having triplets....I already had two children and two step children but my husband and I wanted just one more. I couldn't believe that I was going to have three! We would be going from a family of 6 to a family of 9! I stressed out about money, time, etc. etc. but I knew that somehow we would make it. I immediately began to stock up on everything that we would need. Then in the first week of December, I starting having a brownish pink discharge. We went to the ER right away, and during the sonogram they wouldn't even let me look at the monitor. All three of my babies had died...I felt horrible. They sent me home and scheduled with my OB to do a D&C three days later. For three days, I sat in the nursery and just cried my heart out. I felt like I had done something wrong...like I could have prevented it somehow. It was even harder when I had to go for 3 days knowing that I was carrying around these babies that weren't even alive. Before the D& C the doctor did another ultrasound and determined that the babies had actually stopped developing a few weeks before that and that my body had not rejected the pregnancy yet so I was still producing amniotic fluid. After the D&C I would sit on the floor of our shower and just watch the blood go down the drain...it was awful. I didn't think that I would ever recover from it. I would cry everyday, I couldn't go to work, I didn't eat or sleep and I could swear at night that I could hear them crying. I know that this is an awful awful story...but there is a point to it... After the first few weeks, I started to feel a little better, and I really opened up the lines of communication with my husband and then a few more weeks had passed and I started to have some good days, then eventuelly there were more good than bad. I read alot of books about miscarriage and multiple pregnancies and birth defects and genetic disorders. I just needed an answer to why this happened....but ya know what?? There wasn't one. A huge percentage of pregnancies end in miscarriage. Some women even have multiple miscarriages and they still go on to have healthy pregnancies. As long as you were not doing heavy drugs or were an alcoholic.....then there was nothing that you could have done differently. Your body knew that this was not a viable embryo and instead of giving you a child with major complications and deformities....you miscarried. If you decide to try again....do. I am happy to day that after all of my heartache and pain...I am now 30 weeks along with one very healthy and active baby girl.....she is perfect. God knew that this is what I needed.
I wish you all the luck in the world and you are welcome to contact me directly if you need some support.
2006-11-02 02:24:06 · answer #1 · answered by Sunshine 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tea does not cause a miscarriage. It was nothing that you did. Sometimes the egg just for sometimes unknown reasons does not develop properly. LOTS of women have gotten pregnant while breastfeeding and gone on to have healthy babies...My husband's Aunt got pregnant twice while breastfeeding and has 3 boys VERY close in age. You might want to talk to your doctor about PPD. Having a miscarriage so soon after having a baby might be causing depression. I lost a baby girl at 21 weeks back in Aug and I was severely depressed to the point that I was barely able to take care of my 2 year-old son or myself. My OB/GYN put me on Zoloft and that has made a HUGE difference. There is a website that is great for people that have lost babies/children to miscarriage, stillbirth, etc. www.angels4ever.com. There is also a link to yahoo groups that is for people that have lost babies. It is a great support system.
2006-11-02 02:08:43 · answer #2 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This was by no means your fault, and I'm truly sorry for your loss. There is no quantifiable, average amount of time that it takes for someone to heal from a miscarriage. There are some people who move on very quickly, while others such as yourself have a more difficult time moving past the pain.
Drinking tea and breast feeding will not alone be strong contributing factors in one's miscarrying a baby. It may be best to seek professional counseling to help you try and sort your feelings.
Your doctor was completely out of line, and unfortunately there are some professionals who are so desensitized from their line of work, they lack compassion.
Try to surround yourself with family and friends for support, and don't try to go through this alone. You have two healthy children who know they don't have a bad mommy. Don't let your grief affect their development. Remember, there are people who truly love you who can help you as you progress with each day.
2006-11-02 02:15:11 · answer #3 · answered by Janx 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I had a miscarriage at 16 weeks in Jan. of this year and I'm still not "over" the loss of my son. Losing a child is not something that you'll ever "get over" and if someone tells you too, you need to smack them. That was still your baby, your child that you love. When I got pregnant I was devastated, and for the first few weeks I swore I didn't want it (but I don't believe in abortion) but once I saw his ultrasound and it dawned on me yes I have a baby in there, I fell in love. When I lost him at 16 weeks I devastated, completely torn apart, and my world stopped turning. I can't ell you when it happened, but I woke up one day and realized I didn't cry the day before. I felt guilty about that but then realized, my son loves me just as much as I still love him and he wouldn't want me to be so sad all the time. My heart still aches to hold him and watch him grow, but I know he's in a better place and that gives me peace. My doctor said it's better to have a hard grieving time at first than to have it come back and kick you in the butt later down the line. You'll never feel normal like you did before because that part of you will always be gone, but you will feel at peace, it just takes time. I'm so sorry for your loss, but you will learn how to cope and grieve and still live life.
I would also suggest talking to your doctor about depression, I started Seroquil, it's a very mild anti-depressant and it's made all the difference in the world for me. It's not a miracle pill, but it helps you see things clearly and for what they really are. Maybe it will help you see that you didn't cause your miscarriage, it's not your fault.
2006-11-02 02:07:29 · answer #4 · answered by justwondering 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I WOULD SAY TO YOU, REMEMBER THE OTHER PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE. DON'T LET IT AFFECT YOUR OTHER CHILDREN. THEY ARE MOST IMPORTANT AT THE MOMENT. CURSES? I DON'T BELIEVE IN.... MOTHER NATURE? I DO BELIEVE IN. MOTHER NATURE IS HARD TO DEAL WITH SOMETIMES BUT WHATS DONE IS DONE AND YOU MUST MOVE ON. MAYBE THIS HAPPENED FOR A REASON? MAYBE RIGHT NOW IS NOT A GOOD TIME? I ALSO BELIEVE IN MIND OVER MATTER SO TO SPEAK, AND THAT IF YOU DIDN'T WANT TO BE PREGNANT, YOUR BODY MOST LIKELY SENSED THIS. IF YOU WANT TO TRY AGAIN IN THE FUTURE, YOU ALWAYS CAN. I WOULD WAIT UNTIL THE BREASTFEEDING WAS OVER AND AT LEAST 9 MONTHS AFTER A MISCARRIAGE, BUT YOU CAN. BUT DON'T HAVE A BABY TO REPLACE THE ONE YOU LOST, HAVE A BABY BECAUSE YOU WANT TO AND ARE ABLE TO. REMEMBER..."THERE IS TIME, TAKE IT".
P.S. ... AS FOR DOCTOR AND THE TEA, KEEP THE TEA, LOSE THE DOCTOR.
2006-11-02 02:29:05 · answer #5 · answered by nitroussusie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for your loss. No nursing does not cause miscarriage. Nor does tea. Nature has it's own way of eliminating imperfect fetuses. You had nothing to do with it. It is going to take some time for you to get over losing your baby, give yourself a break and stop blaming yourself.
2006-11-02 02:05:30 · answer #6 · answered by kny390 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hey im sorry.... its a horrible thing i had an ectopic preg in aug 2009 and have just got pregnant this month ... it took me so long to concieve because my periods were very irregular this month all i did was focussed on my CM which is prob why i fell preg this month i think dont give up hope and id say watch your CM thats what i did and it took me 6 months i wish all the best i really do as i now how long the wait can be .. hopefully this one is all well i find out on saturday best of luck to you my sweet xxx
2016-03-28 04:35:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm due in 3 weeks and i drank tea and pop the whole time and i have no problems!! If i was you i would get a new doctor also bc he sounds rude!! dont take it out on yourself maybe god just didnt want you to have that one kid!! God does everything for a reason and maybe he wants you to wait a lil longer or give you a different child!!! good luck and best wishes!!
2006-11-02 02:11:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
its something u will never be able to forget, but if u had a miscarriage something probably wasn't right with the pregnancy anyways, things like stress alone usually don't cause miscarriages
2006-11-02 02:07:46 · answer #9 · answered by Mz. Tanning Bed Junkie! 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends on the person. Some people it takes no time at all,others it takes a lifetime.I hope that you feel better and that you can get through your difficult time.Best wishes.
2006-11-02 02:08:30 · answer #10 · answered by IamMuslimah 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋