Me & my chinese wife r together for 18 yrs, hv 9yr kid. Im 60 n she 40. She used to be a good housewife but since she started online chatting, mainly with youngmen, she has become a challenge for me & my kid. Now she wants to live a free like bird life, no intention to remarry. Loves kid but loves more her personal life. Even says I can take the kid to India. I live in overseas, where life is
far better, India is not my priority though have enough social support. I am afraid to take my kid to India, since he is born/brought up in o/seas and may not adopt a new
atmosphere if taken to India. He is good boy. For him mum/papa both r imp & wants to live with both though shows
some interest to go back to India. I am afraid, if I take him to India, I may fail. Wife wants to start a new life & her own life is more important now than anything else. My wife many time disturbs me & asks for quick divorce but I am avoidg keeping in view future n welfare of my kid. I rqst for matured advice
2006-11-02 01:50:51 · 15 answers · asked by La Kho Kho 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Are you trying to tell me that your wife is alone and lonely and looking for some companionship because you are not around and you expect her to live alone and raise kids while your in another country?!
I don't know if I am understanding this right, but if that is the case, you should either GO HOME and be with your wife, or let someone else!
2006-11-02 01:55:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is like a box of chocolates, you don't know what will come up next. From what i understand, your wife has altogether lost interest in the family. Have a heart to heart talk with her. Does she really like leaving alone without you and her kid? What about you, are you no longer interested to patch up your differences? Only the two of you will be the best judge for this. Wouldn't it be ideal that your kid grow up under both of his parents' guidance? But If the damage is irreparable , and there are no other alternatives, then you have to be strong and let your wife go. It's not the end of the world. A door my have been closed but for certain a window has been opened. Take good care of your kid with love and understanding. I am sure, no matter what place you bring him too, he would not mind, as long as you will be there for him. Good luck.
2006-11-02 04:22:47 · answer #2 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some decisions in life are not easy to take ... they must be bold decisions. Imagine your wife had died, would you have said anything? So, if you can not have her, imagine that she no longer exists. You might be mistaken; your son can grow to love India and grow into a healthier and happier youngman. Some say life begins at 40, so your wife is just beginning; give her a break! Gather all the courage in you, and start another life. Best wishes!
2006-11-02 02:01:28 · answer #3 · answered by blackjack 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi young man, I m sorry to ask you this. How do you know your wife is chatting with young men. Do you think a women should not have a liking of her own. The statement of yours clearly shows you are in secured. Don't worry she will be yours for ever. Have you ever tried to spend time with her. Have u ever taken her out with out your kid.\with kid. Have u ever tried to sit to with her and understand her personal issues. Be a good friend for your wife. More than a husband be a friend to understand her. There is absolutely no prob with u r wife. Pls sit alone and think what have u done / or what difference have u created in her life to make her feel my husband values me a lot. Pls motivate yourself. Have confidence in you and her too.I don't see any problem between u guys. Good luck and keep me posted about u r improvement. I'll pray for u.
2006-11-02 06:41:08 · answer #4 · answered by kavitha g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that you have this burden on you but be strong for your son. Are you satisfying your wife enough? Do you tell her I LOVE YOU? Do you help around the house? Do you tell her she's beautiful and she will always be beautiful while looking into her eyes?
If not, then maybe you should. If you have then, pls be patient with her. If she REALLY REALLY wants out, maybe you can consider separating from her but not fully divorcing and see how things go. If you two feel it is better off divorcing then go ahead. Maybe that will be better.
Whatever happens support and encourage your son to be the best that he can be. Never complain to him about his mum. But hold your head up high and keeping shining.
2006-11-02 02:10:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As far as divorce goes you cannot help it. She can always get it, what is the meaning of quick any way after 18 years.
If it happens it should be amicable divorce with the child in mind. So the kid has support from all. The kid is young and does need the support.
2006-11-02 10:24:06 · answer #6 · answered by minootoo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It appears from your description that you both have poor communication between you. If she is spending lot of time looking at the computer screen then you, is also doing the same… keeping yourself glued to the computer? Both of you should reduce the use of your computers.
It happens in advanced age that we reduce speaking and do not allow others to speak to us. Most of our conversation is limited to… ‘yes’, ‘no’, ‘thanks’ etc. We squeeze ourselves in our solitude and get irritated if our own spouse attempts to intrude our self-defined territory…
So both of you should open up your barriers and spend as much time as possible together… laugh, cry… fight… and do all sorts of things that human beings use to do.
She has been an excellent wife and mother for eighteen years. As such, if she has changed to sticking to computer and keeping away from you, that does not appear to be something out of the blues. It is human nature… we usually reciprocate to whatever way the other person treat us.
It is the high time when you two should sit together and fight intensely… that means talk endlessly… and settle all of your issues in multiple sittings in quick succession.
You should start your talk with the wellbeing of your son who is dear to both of you. This is the best way to start your series of talks.
The catchword is talk, talk and talk…
2006-11-02 05:05:55 · answer #7 · answered by Harish Jharia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
humm i think ur wife need counselling .....because she ws good wife n mother 4.... 18 years .she is 40 near menopause at this age women need extra attantion love because she may feel lonelinass because of menupouse ,im very young 4 that but i read about it ......so no need to live ur wife just take extra care of her share her feelings give ur enough time to her it will be batter to go her favirout place 4 few days she will change her decision definately ..... best of luck.
2006-11-02 06:46:08 · answer #8 · answered by jagrati 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I AM A 49 OLD WOMEN, AND 30 YEARS MARRIED. THIS IS MY OPINION WE SOME TIMES FILL WE NEED SOMETHING KNEW. MAYBE JUST SEPARATED FOR A TIME BUT DON'T GO TO INDIA AND LET HER BE BY HER SELF FOR A TIME AND THEN TALK TO HER AND IF SHE IS IN THE SAME POSITION THEN MAKE A DECISION LIKE THAT. YOU WILL NEED PASSIONS AND LOVE FOR YOUR KID. GOOD LUCK
2006-11-02 02:00:29 · answer #9 · answered by mipieta 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she's done and just wants out. You can try marriage counselling, but it may not be successful.
Your son won't be happy in a new country. You have to think about his best interests. He's showing interest probably to please you. If you're worried about your success in India, how happy will you be there?
2006-11-02 01:59:10 · answer #10 · answered by kellie69 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋