Best friends or?

Question

I have been with my guy now for over four years and i know i love him that is not the issue here..I have never really dated before or have never been in love whatsoever. Now my question is this me and him are best friends i can and do talk to him about whatever is bothering me and he is always there to help me out never judging me or anything. I am bipolar/add and he is my rock if you know what i mean. He is wonderful to me and is the biggest help when im down or if im kinda confused or upset. I have alot of family issues im not going to go into here but he is the one that has helped me get some of them worked out to where im able to function alot better now with all of them. Anyhow, how do you know if what you have is TRUE love or just best friends? I mean i know from all the reading on here and all that when you are IN love with someone it is good to also be best friends with them right? How do you know the difference? If your only best friends or if your in love? Since they close..

I hope you were able to understand this it is kinda confusing to me...there is a huge age difference between us but, that doesnt bother him he said or me at all. He has over twenty years on me. I am not that young im 29, anyway thanks ahead of time if you can help me i appreciate it alot.

Answer 1

I think that your perception of love has changed over four years. May be you're craving passion, romance those kind of things that mpvies typically portray as love.
And its perfectly alright to want that kind of excitement.
Not to be preachy but I think you should value what you have...its very hard to come by this kind of rock-solid support.
According to me there are two things you need to work on:
1) Learn to appreciate the relationship you have. And try to spice it up. Don't look at your boy friend just as a pillar to lean on and a shoulder to cry on. Treat him like someone you love...shower affection, love and romance. Don't just afflict him with your problems.
2) I think you should also start working on being more independent. Slowly but steadily, try to start solving your problems yourself. that doesnt mean you keep him out of parts of your life that are difficult... for instance if you[ve had a fight with your mom...you could meet him for coffee to cool off and forget about the fight rather than talk about the fight. Small things like that.
These two suggested changes will take atleast 6 months to a year. It will change the equation of your relationship from "damsel in distress and knight in shining armour" to a healthy, balanced one. And if your relationship survives the equation change, then you have found what all of us spend years looking for - true love.

Answer 2

Feelings of love are quite different from friendship. Love makes you feel like you want to be with that person all the time, you think about them constantly and when you do your heart beats a little faster and you can even feel lightheaded. Being with your true loves brings you peace and contentment. You also feel an overwhelming sense of joy and there is even a newness in the world around you. True, friendship and love go hand in hand, but there are important distinctions between the two.

Answer 3

This is hard to answer because to me, you seem to have a wonderful man that supports you whenever you need him to. Your "ROCK" is what most women look for in a man. You have to really think this out on your own. You have to think of things such as, missing him if he were to leave you, or how you feel when he holds your hand. Best friends and love make for great relationships. God bless!

Answer 4

only you will know if you are inlove. having a guy being their for you and not judging you, having someone to help you in your times of need. sounds like he's a keeper.

Answer 5

i would say best friends but that is just my opion. You are the only one that will now when your in love.

Answer 6

hmm a hard question for me..