My best-friend is being beat up & i'm concerned for him because his girlfriend hits him all the time. He's a very loving & sweet person & he was raised to never hit a women for any reason. He says he wants to get away from her but everytime he tries to she threatens to kill herself & he feels sorry for her. She beat him in the head with a cast iron skillet the other day & he had bruises & slap mark across his face. The cops came and they didn't seem to take it to serious that a 6'5", 260 pound man could be abused by a woman. The police officer laughed when i told him what happened to my friend. Isn't it just as bad for a man to get beat as a women? Why do the police not take this serious? I don't find this FUNNY at all. It's a very sad world when someone can laugh at another person getting beat. Does anyone else agree with me? You know if he was to protect himself they'd come & lock him away in a second. I'm going to file a complaint about this. It sucks!
2006-11-02 01:10:55 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Have you ever witnessed the abuse?
I hear her cussing him on his cel phone & she makes threatening calls & e-mails to him when they break up she said she was going to send her cousin to "handle" him in an e-mail. I showed the e-mails to the cops & they said it would be easy to alter an e-mail & didn't seem to care. If he was a female she'd be in jail. It is discrimination because he is "BIG" & Male. I keep telling him she wont kill herself but he wont listen. He is lonely because his girlfriend passed away of cancer several years ago & he isn't in his right mind. He tells me he probably deserves it. This crazy girl even destroyed all his pictures of his former girlfriend. I wish he'd listen to me & stop feeling sorry for her. He even caught her in bed with his best-friend & he forgave her. The man feels sorry for her & should feel sorry for himself.
2006-11-02 01:35:59 · update #1
Your friend needs some serious counseling! Until he decides to leave the abusive relationship, all you can do is be there for him. Many times, people stay in these relationships because of low self-esteem, and believe that they deserve what's being done to them. Be patient and supportive!
2006-11-02 02:06:31 · answer #1 · answered by grandm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately the way life is it will be taboo for a man to be beaten up. Unfortunately, and this is the truth, until he wants to do something about it - there is nothing you can do. He has to want to make a difference and leave this woman before you can help in the way you want too.
In the mean time, stay his friend, be there for him when he needs to break down and do not under any circumstance call him stupid for being in this situation. He is probably stuck in a cycle of guilt and pain and this just keeps increasing. It will reach a point he wants out, but he has to come to that conclusion himself.
Also, if you put too much pressure on him - then what could happen is you make him resent you for judging him - especially as this is a sensitive situation and also as he probably feels out of control of his masculinity.
Good luck and try not to get too down about it yourself.
2006-11-02 01:30:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People tend to find it hard to believe that guys can be abused by their partners, and don't take it so seriously. But it is a big issue.
Tell your best friend to talk to his girlfriend when she's in a good mood. Give her leaflets for anger management. Make her realise what she's doing is wrong, and she needs help to deal with it.
In the mean time your best friend should just walk out without telling her where he's going. Otherwise she'll do the same old thing. Go to court if he's afraid - make sure she can't get close enough to him to hurt him again. Keep going to the police, and take photos of the injuries. Make them help you. It's their job.
Most of all - be there for him.
2006-11-02 01:16:28 · answer #3 · answered by Strange1am 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to get away from her. Even if she threatens to kill herself. He is not responsible for her actions. He needs to protect him self at all costs. Have you ever witnessed the abuse? You or someone else can be a witness for when the cops show up. Also he could get a restraining order against her. he needs to take the first step before she decides to be vindictive and accuse him of abuse.
I would definitely document any signs of abuse he has received, bruises, cuts etc. Also he needs to file a complaint against the police department. sounds like discrimination to me
2006-11-02 01:24:16 · answer #4 · answered by jbenishmlt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about a long distance relationship?
Far enough that he wouldn't get beaten physically and mentally or at least only a little beaten, but close enough to give her comfort. He needs to find the right balance.
Calling the police would do a lot harm to the both of them, so this should never be done, even if she injured him badly. If she ever get locked up, he probably would felt very miserable.
Domestic issue should remain domestic, unless it involved a non-domestic factor.
2006-11-02 01:35:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get him out of there.Abuse is abuse regrdless if it is done by a mail or female.
HE needs to realize she will keep on using the threats of killing herself no matter who she abuses.
Perhaps the cop that came there also needs to be educated in abuse situation. Kinda a dumbo.]
Yes, she could get him to the point that he gets to angry and things can go wrong. he needs to leave and now
2006-11-02 01:18:34 · answer #6 · answered by apostle1938 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know its not something you hear about everyday.But it happens and your best bet is to get him out and get her help.And i would go to the cheif of police and make a report against the officers that responded to the call because that is some bull ****.He was tought not to lay his hands on a female and thats what he is sticking to.And tell him that he needs to find some one who loves him and wont beat the crap out of him........Do what you can to help him.
2006-11-02 01:21:30 · answer #7 · answered by xxrlhoodratxx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have your friend contact the ACLU, they should help him and this is an issue that needs addressed.
He has to get to the point where he no longer cares about this woman. He better get there fast because unless she gets help, the situation will escalate.
No one deserves to be abused, male or female. Sounds to me like he needs a "come to jesus" talk, he has a choice to make. Just ask him if he wants his future children to be treated this way. Because if she hits him, she will scream at and hit her children, I guarantee it.
Good luck to your friend, he sounds like an upstanding man who could do so much better.
2006-11-02 01:20:21 · answer #8 · answered by Gem 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
SERIOUSLY there is only one answer to this problem and that is that he has to leave her and the only person that can make that decision is him. People that threaten to kill themselves 99 percent of the time dont do it, i think you would find she is only saying that to keep him there and its obviously working. There is a saying, ITS NOT HOW MUCH YOU LOVE SOMEONE, IT'S THE TYPE OF PERSON YOU ARE WHEN YOU ARE WITH THEM.
2006-11-02 01:24:13 · answer #9 · answered by deb.jones888 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well he needs to dump her!!!! If she threatens to kill herself have him call the police. They take suicide threats very seriously. Most likely they will come and get her and admit her in for a psych review.
2006-11-02 05:57:14 · answer #10 · answered by shaman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋