I want the child; not the husband.?

Question

i have given up on love- yes, i can hear the roars and instant reactions of pro-Love people. and no, i am not heartbroken at the moment either. i just cannot be bothered about relationships. but this is not the point now- i want a child, i would really love to bring the child up and care for her; but i dont want to have to go through a marriage (having a husband) to get one. nor do i want a child out of wedlock (sleeping with strangers.. no way!). so i came to a conclusion; adoption. everyone around me is against it. is my thinking and potential decision wise?

Answer 1

Well, everyone has his love story to tell. Some very exciting and some can be distressing. From you question, I suppose you must have gone through hard time or bad experience in your relationship with guy.

Marriage is always wonderful when couples understand each other and know how to work together for good of both party. There is no perfect man or woman in this world. Someone says, "What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility to enjoy lifelong healthy relationship."

Give yourself sometimes to let your inner hurt be healed. I believe you will be able to think clearer, and find someone who can work with you to enjoy lifelong relationship and have a child of your own flesh.

The real fact of life: A woman needs a man to lean on, and behind every man is a woman. Even for a child, he/she also needs both father and mother.

You should not let your past experiences distort your thinking, but use it as a stepping stone to live more wisely and let the future take its course. Maybe one day, you will find someone who sincerely love you and is able to work along with you to establish a healthy and normal family. So my encouragement, don't conclude anything first, till you get over with your inner hurts.

Answer 2

There is nothing wrong with adoption. It is great for the child and the parent. That is if you are sure that you are ready for a child. Not only the good but the bad. That changes with age. My mother had be out of wedlock and my father adopted me and that was the best thing for us both. He has past earlier this year and I can tell you that I still love him and he is the only father that I will ever have. Just make sure that you are ready for the pros and cons of having a child and one on your own. If you want it then go for it. It does take special people to raise a child that is someone else's.

Answer 3

I think you should think long and hard about adopting on your own and I am not saying that just cause you don't want a husband. In my experience having a child is a lot of work and having one by yourself leaves all the work up to you. Also consider the fact that there are certain difficulties adopted children go through that other children don't face and that adds to the challenge of being a parent. If you have a social net work to support you as a parent, I wish you the best of luck if you choose to adopt.

Answer 4

Not really, for a number of reasons. Except you will provide a loving home to some child that needs it.

1. Adoption is expensive.
2. Can you support a child on your income.
3. Men play a vital role in up-bringing. "my parents were divorced"
4. It's selfish. " remember the saying puppies turn into dogs"

Answer 5

personally i think children deserve to have the opportunity of two parents within a family unit,,never having a father may not go down well in later years and you may find you do find someone you love and want to marry,,you then have another child,,and that will bring its own problems,,but i say each to their own and it would be you doing all the work. adoption is a great thing but i also think lots of people think it is an easy way to dispose of unwanted men because they just cant be bothered being a couple,,i dont want a man at the moment,,well back in sack cloth wearing days,,you remember them,,women needed a man to get pregnant and as i see it this seems to work because it is the natural order of things,,,man now can be called an inconvenience so we just skip them and just opt for the child.what is happening to the family unit?

Answer 6

I say that if you're financially ok to raise a child then go for it. Being a single mother will be hard but in the long run will be worth it for both you and the child you adopt. I think it is a wonderful idea. There are so many children out ther that need homes, it will be great that you can give that to one of them.

Answer 7

I'll don't believe in child adoption, should you are a single parent. Because there is no assurance of the grow up child will look after you in future. Is also not easy to bring up a child, as everyone know about it. Thus, think twice before you adopt a child.

Answer 8

i would do that in a heartbeat...don't not give a child a chance at a wonderful life and take away your happiness and a future daughter/son simply because your friends disapprove of it

i dont know how old you are, but it is best not to wait around for the child to come to you, go out and do what you feel is right, and obviously you have been thinking about this decision for a while now if you dont do it, you will have regrets

Answer 9

I believe that if you have enough love and are willing to share this with a disadvantage child then good on you. We need more people like yourself but i hope that you are doing it for all the right reasons. You can contact your local council and they will put you in touch with the adoption team. They will need to investigate your life and to see if you are suitable for adoption before you are even introduced to a child. good Luck

Answer 10

Can you afford to look after a child on 1 income??? Bringing up a child can be very expensive. Be very careful and consider everything before you get into this. Good Luck.