how come my mom doesnt love me?

Question

i dont think my mom loves me bc she always says bad things to me and she treats my 2 sisters waaayy better than me. she always says, it would be better if u werent here,if i could redo my life i wouldnt have had u. and she always insults me and says, u can never do anything! and, that im stupid and that im selfish and everything. y doesnt she love me???

actually she says it all the time.

sometyms i ask her y she says this to me and she says that she doesnt mean it but wen she gets mad at me or i dnt wanna do sumthin she says it again. it rlly hurts to hear that from sum1 u love. she calls me selfish mostly bc wen she says to help my younger sister wit homewrk and i do but she gets mad if she gets sumthin wrong so i dont help her anymore and then my mom says things. and then other times she says nice things. anything i can do?

the only thing that she does bad is say those things to me. she acts like a real mother bc she cooks,cleans and everything. but its just the things she says that hurt me.

in the first part i meant doesnt*

Answer 1

honey, i went through the same exact thing. i even posted a question here on a separate account because for some reason, even though i shouldn't have been, i was too embarassed. you can probably still find it. "my mom hates me" the account is paper face.
i think some of the answers there will really help you.
you can't make everyone happy, even if those people are the ones that are supposed to love you unconditionally. sometimes we get dealt a bad hand and there's nothing we can really do about it. There is no real reason for her to act that way, she just is. If you can eventually try to accept that things aren't how you want them to be than some of the hurt can start to go away. Move out, put some distance between you two and maybe she will start to miss you on her own. You can't live your life trying to make someone else happy, you have to do it for yourself.
Best of luck to you and I hope that you can find yourself. Read the answers that came with my question. They made me feel a lot better.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AkvfApemxrYBWEeB1.Wo0ybsy6IX?qid=20061025183849AAU5oUs

When I was desperate to get my mother to try and show me that kind of affection, I just gave her a hug and told her that I loved her. She started to cry and told me that she was sorry. I know it sounds simple, just try it.

Answer 2

I think that maybe because of your situation it's drawing attention away from her and she resents that. She may be caring for you now and may resent that a little also. Some parents don't know what it is to be a parent and take all their frustrations out on their children and lose sight of reality and who rightfully deserves their wrath. So it's probably nothing to do with you personally and it doesn't necessarily mean she doesn't love you. She's just awful at expressing herself and directs negative stuff at the good people. Just use the facts against her. I'm sure you went to the hospital and had treatment etc. So just remind her of that and ask her to be understanding. Tell her that if it was the other way round you wouldn't dare call her a liar and make things even more difficult. If you can make her feel bad in a constructive crictism way, that would be great. But it's obviously not easy for you and I hope she will stop, but just try to use the fact the doctors have seen you and that you wouldn't never treat her this way if she had the same happen to her. Hope this helps.

Answer 3

You dont say how old you are so I do not know if you have to just take it until you are old enough to get out.(DO NOT LEAVE YOUR HOME UNTIL YOU FINISH SCHOOL AND HAVE A JOB, THE STREETS ARE WAY TOO DANGEROUS FOR YOU) If you are no longer a minor and can get out, get out now and when you do, do not contact your mother and try to have a relationship. She just might be overwhelm by the way her life has gone and needs to have a whipping girl. She might want to have a relationship after you have left, but if she does do not allow her to tear you down. You are a worthwhile person, the fault is with her.

Answer 4

Your mother has a problem! It's a tough thing to live with but you can't fix her. The only thing you can do is look away towards your own future... without her. I know someone like you and she tried most of her young life to work at winning her mother's respect. It never happened! You have to belive in yourself and not the notion that because someone may be your biological parent that you have to love and respect them. It is apparent that your mother neither loves nor respects you. Now you have to love and respect yourself!

Answer 5

i so sorry, no child should be told such things. iam sure she loves you, but she is the one being stupid and selfish. you just happen to be the child that doesnt fit her perfect pattern. talk to her or you dad. tell them how this makes you feel. your mother needs to grow up. no child should ever have to hear such hurtful things, just keep in mind its your mom being stupid to talking to you that way. and its her loss not getting to know the real you.

Answer 6

well, if she is saying those terrible things to you, then she surely needs counseling, as well as you too...there are many factors contributing to how a mother feels toward her children, so she needs to explore why she is feeling this way very soon, before more damage is done to your relationship...what you are experincing is called emotional abuse, and she needs to get herself together, and act like a mother.

Answer 7

That's wrong. Perhaps she said this when she was really mad with you, if that's the case she still loves you, she just might have alot of issues.

Answer 8

mabe your a result of a bad affair that your mother had