This other guy is not the reason for the seperation, I know i have self respect but morally how long should i wait before i jump into bed with this guy? Besides my marriage was dead long ago Just need a few answers to see if my answer is on par
2006-11-01 23:13:58 · 22 answers · asked by jules 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You shoud wait until the divorce is official. More importantly, the guy should tell you "call me when you get your divorce papers" and stop calling you.
I'm not sure what it says about him if he doesn't demand that type of character on your part.
After many years and failed relationships, I have learned the hard way that the key female attributes for a partner in a relationship that is going to last are Integrity, Attitude, Affection and Respect.
I'm afraid that having learned those painful lessons that dating a woman who is only seperated is setting yourself up for all kinds of pain because she has failed the "Integrity" test.
You didn't want to hear that, did you?
2006-11-02 01:03:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
We live in an age of "if it feels good do it" but there's nothing right about that. If you're getting divorced, then do it. But I firmly believe that nearly all marriages can be saved (unless there's domestic abuse). But I wouldn't go jumping right in bed with another man. That's just slutty. It's also not fair to this other guy you've got the hots for. He'd always believe he is just the rebound guy, and he'd never want a serious relationship with you. Here's an idea, wait until after you marry rebound guy before you hit the sack?
2006-11-01 23:35:07 · answer #2 · answered by shojo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can really tell you how long to wait until you jump into bed with a guy. Just dont rush into things because of any loneliness you may be feeling. How attracted are you to the guy? Would you want more than just a roll in the sack? If so I would wait some time before sleeping with him to make sure that is really what the both of you want
2006-11-01 23:19:39 · answer #3 · answered by Sweetie P 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i left my soon to be ex-husband earlier this year, our marriage was over for a long time too, till i finally put an end to it, never thought i could /would do it, but i did. I quit my job in that area and moved back home. I was happy to give up on all men, and even started to get myself sorted for getting into uni and focus on having a career. Then out of the blue there's this guy, i told him straight that i wasnt interested in any relationships with anyone and that all i wanted was a good career, with a home and a drivers license, with a few pets. That (at that time) was all i wanted. At this point i had already started divorce proceedings, still he said he'd stand by me through it all, and i slowly let myself show my true feelings for him. He has stuck by me, through all the paperwork, nuisance calls, the lot! So the moral is, you decide, are you happy to block out your true feelings and do what others tell you is right? or is it about time you stood up for yourself and made your own choices? wishing you well.......
2006-11-01 23:42:30 · answer #4 · answered by Need_to_know 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your hormones are driving your thought process. If you want sex out side of the marriage, get a divorce.
You took some kind of vows when you married didn't you? So out of self respect, honor those vows until you are divorced.
If you separate, especially if it isn't a legal separation, and to use your words, "jump into bed with this guy" then your true character and morale values are pretty low.
2006-11-01 23:20:19 · answer #5 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why do you say you will be going through a separation soon have you not separated yet because it seems that you are unhappy in the relationship and have already decided to split, have you not informed you partner yet. What is the hold up.
It seems to me that your asking the public to say it is OK to have an affair or what you are doing is OK.
Your not even asking when should you start dating but when would it be OK to sleep with him and then trying to justify your actions with that the marriage is dead.
Decide what you want and stop trying to take the moral high ground.
2006-11-01 23:32:15 · answer #6 · answered by christine w 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wait until it is all sorted because your hubby may use this against you then you will have to prove it was not the reason for the separation which could be a lot trickier than you think. Explain this to your new f*ck buddy and surelly he will understand and wait, I hope all works out and nobody gets to hurt.
2006-11-01 23:25:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you're separated and not living together you can move on whenever you're ready. Regardless of how long you wait it will be uncomfortable for the other party. You could just keep a low profile for a few weeks. dinner in, go to places you know his friends don't hang out
2006-11-01 23:22:22 · answer #8 · answered by uknowme 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Until the divorce is final. Then another 6 months.
Marriages are much like a death in the family and they take time to grieve. If your marriage is in fact dead why have you not done the paperwork?
2006-11-01 23:17:46 · answer #9 · answered by Flagger 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just do what you feel is right, you don't have to jump into bed with this guy, how about spending some time getting to know him!
2006-11-01 23:44:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋