Is a peace activist costume offensive?

Question

Sorry I'm asking this twice, but I would love to get an opinion from the Amercians on this one if I could.

Hello all. Little problem (again) with my parents, though it left me more confused than anything...I'm 26, with a hubby and nearly 11 month old son. For Halloween, we dressed up our son as a 60's peace activist, as we found some cool grungy camo trousers, a linen shirt and a khaki overshirt in the bargain bin at the Baby Gap. We made a little sign saying "Make Cookies, Not War!" as a funny joke and took him trick or treating with the neighbours and their kids. Everyone thought he was cute, and our 80 something year old neighbour loved it, and gave him a hug and a tangerine.

Yesterday, I sent the pics to my mom and dad and family as I do to keep them in the loop of our lives as I am an American living in Scotland. I got an email from my dad this morning saying that he was offended by our costume and pretty much said, live your life keep us out of it. I fail to understand

where a simple Halloween costume can cause so much offense. Sure, I can understand if it's Hitler or a suicide bomber, which would be completely out of order, but a peace activist??

Am I going nuts or does that sound looney tunes?? It's a bloody costume, and now my folks won't bloody talk to me. We've had trouble with the folks before and I still don't think they've forgiven us (we asked them for money in my trust fund which they refused to give us so we could put a deposit on a flat).

Am I in the wrong??

Here's a pic of my son so you can see the costume...

http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=3160142&imageID=1363799746

I'm hurt that my parents would think that I would deliberately go out of my way to offend them or anyone else.

Hi Elly, I think you may have hit the nail on the head, thanks. My parents and I share very different viewpoints, and while I am opposed to war of any form, I would never go so far as to not be supportive of our men and ladies around the world. It's just difficult trying to tell them that peace is also patriotic.

Nonetheless, our choice in costume had nothing to do with my political views - I saw the clothes in Baby Gap and it reminded me of the funny part in Forrest Gump with all the peace activists at the Lincoln Memorial and the one guy with the flag shirt who swore ever other word :)

Hi Kondar, thanks for the input. It's very difficult to test the political waters being so far away, and I think you may also be correct. I have no idea who Karl Rove is and only know John Kerry from the last presidential elections! I really get very little American news over here, and as much as I check it on the internet, I suppose I have failed to understand how black and white things have become back home. I have apologised to my parents, but have stood my ground. Next time, I will think deeper and tread lightly when contemplating potentially politically offensive choices.

Hey silverfox, I don't know if they do, but certainly check your local Gap :)

Answer 1

I think that the IDEA of making or increasing peace is attractive to everybody, but people have different ideas about how it can be done.

A lot of people feel that the reason for the failure of wars like Vietnam or Iraq, is that insufficient troops were applied at an early stage. It's pretty frustrating, when they see such an obvious route to success, to hear all sorts of politicians shilly-shallying about the options. Some citizens will see even the 'hawks' in the government as indecisive and weak, so the idea of 'peaceniks' is just from a different planet!

World War Two involved the commitment of ALL forces, and the active support of the ENTIRE population, and plenty of people are nostalgic about those days and about the feelings of national unity that existed. (The usual interpretation of WW2 is that the Allies won; in fact, many historians say that the Axis lost; mainly by disastrously attempting to invade Russia)

There is also a trend in modern society, to think of 'being duped' as more of a crime than cheating or bullying is. This idea ('don't be a mug!') has always been around, but is becoming more dominant at the moment (for example, new gameshows often focus on 'creative dishonesty' as the route to success). To anybody who supports military intervention, the idea that 'being weak' and 'saying please' can be more effective than applying strong compulsion, can be seen as deeply insulting.

In the US (with its Pioneer history, and conflict with Britain, and role in the Cold War) sensitivity about 'naive' methods of solving problems can be easy to trigger. Colt used to make a revolver called 'The Peacemaker'.

In families, disagreements over these kinds of principled matters can last for generations, and are very difficult to resolve. There may not be a solution that does not involve one side 'giving in' to the other's argument. Even if this happened, the 'victorious' side can still harbour a suspicion that the 'defeated' party is shamming.

It may be that all you can do is keep talking to them, and bearing their lack of grace, in the hope that a message of family unity may be slowly getting through.

Answer 2

the thought that a little boy of any nationality is dressed up for wanting a better world and more cookies, is the most wonderful idea in the world, and if the bigoted people of this world cant see that then they are as bad and as fundamentalist as those idiots who are waging a war, that includes both sides.
i hope your son will grow up to be a rounded and reasonable person with views that cookies can be used to make this a better world rather than missiles.
if we had bombed Iraq and Afghanistan with cookies then we would have won the hearts and mind a lot quicker and more successfully than we have at present.
by the way did they do that outfit in adult size?

Answer 3

NO, you are not wrong. they are. but that does not help a solution. sorry.
probably they have always believed you harbored those feelings and this is a manifestation of it and not just a joke or mocking that sentiment. they do not want their grandson to be raised a peacenik.
it is particularly galling to some if an american living outside the country makes any criticism of it. You are already suspect of disloyalty for choosing a foreign country to reside in.

This time of our history brings this sort of feeling out and we have been sharply polarized here by the deliberate manipulations of Karl Rove and his tactics. So you may be perceived as with us or against us just now and no in between.
consider your family love to be a victim of the war.
OR like Kerry, you botched that joke badly and must apologize.

Answer 4

I think that's an adorable costume, but I would guess that some people might find it offensive because perhaps they associate peace activists with the unpatriotic. Maybe they think that you aren't supporting the troops in Iraq? Or maybe they were in support of Vietnam?

When I protested the war (NOT our troops) back in 2003, I had people call me a terrorist, an anti-American and a plethora of other bad names before saying, "I hope that when those Muslims attack the US, you die first"
People can be sensitive about these things, more so than you might think.