Do you / would you smack your children?

Question

Come now, the world is drowning in 'political correctness'. I was brought up by the leather belt, and trust me, when other kids were out smoking / shoplifting / theiving push-bikes, I was right there!!! No I'm kidding, the fear of that belt, kept me well clear of that sort of thing.

But many around me did not have a 'father figure' to prevent such idle acts of vandelism and theft, so maybe it was a good thing???

Oh, and if you knew you were 'in for it', life was hell.

So if I have kids, I think they 'won't sit down for a week' if I catch them up to no good. I trust there may be many who disagree with me.

... but I'd like to know from those who had physical punishment - did it stop you getting up to crazy stuff?

I never smoke, got wailed for drinking at 14yrs once, and attended school everyday, (except for two times).

So it must be a good thing, right?

Wow, what a response!

So many detailed answers, with such personal experiences too.

Thanksyou all so very much.

I still say 'spank 'em!' Ha ha....

Answer 1

I don't think the occasional whack on the bum is tantamount to child abuse.
Far to many, so called professionals who don't have kids of their own, are spouting off about what we should and shouldn't do with ours.
ADHD is just a modern euphemism for "little brat" And parents who buy into all that crap about letting your kids express themselves, are being walked all over by the" little darlings."

Someone made a comment about fear not being a good reason for kids to be not doing something that is harmful to them, but often kids have no sense when it comes to making the right decision, and so what, are you gonna just let them smoke until they realise the error of their ways, or are you gonna stop them by more forceful means in the meantime?

Answer 2

I, like you, had the fear of a smack from my dad if I pushed things too far and at the time I hated him for it. Now I have grown up and spoken to him about it, I realise that is the way that he was brought up and he felt that it did him no harm. I don't blame my dad or hold it against him, although someitmes I think he went a bit too far. Unlike you I still went on to smoke (neither of my parents did), dabbled with cannibis and occasionally got drunk at party's and just hoped he didn't find out. I knew right from wrong at a very early age and maybe it was the rebellion in me that wanted to do these things or maybe it was curiousity that took over. I never got into trouble with the police though, as I knew that that would bring shame upon myself and the family, so I wasn't too much of a bad kid.
I myself don't have children, although my partner does have two, so I am a step mum. His boys are not smacked and are punished by grounding or having priviledges removed from them, although this does not always work.
Kids nowadays have no real threat to them apart form their parents. ASBO's are seen as medals of honour in the wrong crowds, police are unable to do anything, some parents do not even care what their kids get up to and let them wander the streets causing havoc and mayhem wherever they go.
I think parents should be the ones to teach their kids right from wrong from a very early age (i know many parents already do this) to stop such unruly kids in their later teens.
The problem is that having a kid is really easy, its the being a good parent and role model that is the difficult part!

In answer to your question, I am on the fence!

Answer 3

I try really hard not to. But sometimes she just pushes me to far. Like when she has a wee on the naughtie chair and that is right next to the bathroom. Once or twice she overstepped the mark in Sainsbury but what am i expected to do when shop assistants have no longer the authority to tell a 3-year old to behave in their shop?
As for it being a good or bad thing. Too many variables. Every child is an individual and the outcome will depend on more than just the smacking.
But leather belts really ought to be a things of the past.

Answer 4

Physical punishment is one tool of many that parents can use to raise a respectful child. I was "whupped" as a child when I did anything espescially stupid. I never repeated the mistake. I was never abused and deserved every beating I received. Over the course of my youth there were less than a handful of these instances but I paid attention to every mistake that ended up in a beating.

Discipline should be a multi-tiered system but corporal punishment has it's place in the system. I never cease to be amazed and disgusted by children who tell their parents "No" when instructed to do the most mundane things. Obviously these children have determined that their parents have no authority and have reserved same for themselves. I shudder to think what type of adults these children will grow to be. Disobediance wasn't an option that I even contemplated, much less flat out saying no to any adult in a position of authority. I believe that to not use physical punishment is a failing of a parent. Too many parents today think their place is a "friend" to their children and not a parent and role model.

Answer 5

I was barly smacked only on the hand as I remember but it was a religious house and I did not get out of hand. when I new my friends were haveing sex I was not interested although I was asked a few times.
but then I definatly smaked my children and I can say now probably more than was deserved I had savear PMT and although under treatment now still have angree periods, Mt children have all come out well with studying did not get into gangs sex or drugs for which I am very greatfull. Prayer has big part in it to,

Answer 6

I used to get a smack round the legs when I did something wrong, and it made damn sure I didnt do it again!!! It was never a belt or cane, just an open palm across the legs, and believe me, that was enough!!
I have never used physical violence against anyone, Ive never been arrested, I work as a design engineer and respect people who deserve it. Likewise, my brother is the same.
My cousin (who's parents are against smacking in a BIG way) is currently serving a prison sentance for burglary, GBH and intimidating a witness.
Make your own mind up.

Answer 7

I was also ruled by fear, so I just learned to lie really well! Now with kids of my own, I don't like to smack and on the rare ocassions that I do, it is more out of frustration than teaching them something. And it doesn't work!
However, while I have a very close relationship with my kids they certainly don't have the respect that I had for my parents. But I woulld prefer my kids to be happy but naughty, than scared shitless.

Answer 8

Well i dont think the occasional tap would do them any harm ,but do that to kid on the streets in certain areas now adays and you could end with 10 or 20 puncture wounds.
kids had a lot more respect years ago they have been given to many rights more than there own parents, it has been reversed parents are scared of there kids and in some cases hit there parents.

Answer 9

My mother smacked me but never my father because he was too physically strong. My mum never hurt me when she smacked me but the shock was enough to stop me in my tracks.

Using inplements to increase pain on a child is inexcusable. I was smacked only very rarely and i always thoroughly deserved it! You cannot simply reason with young kids sometimes but smacking should be a very last resort.

Boundaries must be set . I really believe parents are too frightened of their children turning round and telling them 'i don't love you' simply because they've imposed some discipline. I always knew where i stood, i was loved and for that i shall be eternally grateful.

Answer 10

I think that to fear violence from anyone would certainly stop you doing things but it doesn't mean it's good for your personality. I was smacked a few times growing up and I can still remember the fear it brought. When we smack, we're allowing our anger to cloud the judgement of the situation. We're reacting to our emotions rather than what the child has done. Punishment must be consistent and smacking never is. Smacking will happen when parents are tired, have had enough or are in a bad mood or even worse drunk. Clear boundaries need to be set and when they are breached there should be consistent ways of dealing with it. I use "count of three" followed by naughty step for 3 minutes if she still doesn't. This is then followed by an apology from her.