Have any of you ever ran across gay people that did NOT fit the heterosexual stereotype of being gay AT ALL?

Question

Have you seen a gayperson that you absolutely could not believe was gay, like his being gay was like impossible and incomprehensible because he didn't act gay and looked like he was definitely straight (he must be and is straight)? It's like this gayperson seemed to be, and is, an average-looking, normal, regular, heterosexual everyday kind of guy. I saw two guys like that speak at a conference about allowing lesbians and gaypeople in the military. I still think those two guys aren't really gay. They didn't seem like the type. All gaypeople are (or, at least, catergorized) as effeminate, flamboyant queens who speak with a lisp and have limp wrists. No way in hell could those guys be gay. They can't be! They would have to be straight! They didn't look gay (heterosexually gay, that is). They didn't act gay. They didn't talk or speak in a gay manner. UNBELIEVABLE! These guys were unbelievably very masculine, heterosexually masculine. It blows the mind! They couldn't be gay.

HOW COULD THEY BE GAY, WHEN THEY DIDN'T "ACT GAY"? IT DOES'NT MAKE ANY SENSE! THE GUYS LOOKED LIKE THEY HAD WIVES OR GIRLFRIENDS, AND THEY PROBABLY DO! THEY DEFINITELY WEREN'T FELLATORS!

Answer 1

My husband told me that one of his sister's sons was gay.

The first time I went to a party at her home, I met son #2 first. He was very "artsy" and after talking a few minutes learned that he was a passionate activist for many issues (still in college aren't we all activists then?) and seemed a little feminine.

Brother #1, drank beer, swore like a sailor, was stocky and acted very much like his father.

On the way home, my hubby and I were talking and I mentioned that the gay brother seemed awful lovey with a girl that was at the party, so I asked if she was a "beard."

Then I found out that the sweet one, is hetero and the beer guzzling guy, was the gay one.

Go figure

Answer 2

I have to wonder where are you coming from with all of this?
Since when are we all categorized so stringently, so does this mean that every straight man is exactly alike in all mannerism, speech and looks?
You my friend have an awful lot to learn, and you may feel a bit more at ease with your own sexuality now that you have learned that not all gays fit into that little tiny box of misunderstood mannerisms.

I always have to laugh at how illogical and narrow minded people can be. Don't you see that a man is a man and a woman is a woman nothing more nothing less gay or straight there is not a dirty little stereo type that we all fit into.
Sexual identity is not a visible trait identifiable by skin, hair, looks, speech, mannerisms or anything of the sort.
Sexual identity is not an open book for all to look at nor a sign one wears for all to see.
You obviously then do not know how many "straight" and "married" men are out there messing with gay men all the time! Heck I can't even begin to count all of the supposedly straight men who are having sex with men day and night much to their poor wives lack of knowledge.
Sexuality is just that sexuality.
A persons character is their character.
Their morals are their morals.
Uneducated is uneducated.
Knowing who you are and loving who your are as God has made you and not judging others but loving and accepting others is a gift and brings knowledge, compassion and understanding and that is what we all need to try and achieve.

Answer 3

Hello? To the person who said "someone has to play the man role".. look up the definition of homosexual. It means that both men are gay. And both people are men. Got it?

Sexual identity is a term that, like sex, has two distinctively different meanings. One describes an identity roughly based on sexual orientation, the other an identity based on sexual characteristics, a concept related to, but different from, gender identity

In some fields of analysis within the social sciences and humanities, a gender role is a set of behavioral norms associated with males and with females, respectively, in a given social group or system. Gender is one component of the gender/sex system, which refers to "The set of arrangements by which a society transforms biological sexuality into products of human activity, and in which these transformed needs are satisfied"

R.W. Connell in Men, Masculinities and Feminism:

"There are cultures where it has been normal, not exceptional, for men to have homosexual relations. There have been periods in 'Western' history when the modern convention that men suppress displays of emotion did not apply at all, when men were demonstrative about their feeling for their friends. Mateship in the Australian outback last century is a case in point."

Also what on earth is a heterosexual steriotype of a gay man. Please example, because I have no idea what you are talking about. People are people man. Some have more feminine characteristic, despite their sexual orientation. Some have more masculine. It has absolutely nothing to do with sexual orientation.
Then there are plenty of people who have a mixture of both.

Answer 4

Just because you might not believe it doesn't mean it's not true. I was the all-american jock in highschool. Played football, wrestled, baseball, ran track and all that good stuff. I'm in a fraternity and go to keg parties. I drive a big *** truck and love to go camping. I don't flat iron my hair or wear women's jeans or talk with a lisp and all the bones in my wrist are all accounted for. I guess you could say i'm the most hetero-normal person you could meet, and yet, i'm still gay; open, honest, and proud.

Answer 5

You would be so surprised at those who are GAY and pass as straight!
We are all different just like I met a very flamboyant male who I thought HAD to be gay but found out he was a very happy hetrosexual married and with kids!
Don't paint us into a box- I could blow your mind with some who are gay or Bi but you wouldn't believe it unless you were there in the bed with them- B.S and W.H. are 2 of the intials... But I won't out anyone who wants to remain closeted- that;s their choice!
OH and This is from personal expierence!

Answer 6

Apparently you don't understand a thing about stereotypes. The majority of the guys I know wouldn't be picked out of a crowd for being gay(myself included). Back a few years ago when I used to go to the bars, I was regularly hit on by many of the (straight) women that went there.

Answer 7

You don't know anything. Why should people 'act' gay?

Everyone has to be who they are.

And I'm not exactly straight-appearing, but I haven't got a lisp or a limp wrist either. Stop being such an idiot, and get on with your life.

Answer 8

All the time. I have known many people that I did not know they were gay until after I got to know them and they introduced their friend as their partner. As a straight person, I imagine it must be tough for a gay person to find a partner. It is tough enough for a straight person to find a partner.

Answer 9

you obviously don't know too many gays/lesbians, and you believe way too much in stereotypes. because, I'd say at least 95 % of the time, if not more, NONE of us...gay men OR lesbians...EVER fit those generalizing stereotypes! you walk by us all of the time and you never know we are! why? because stereotypes are just that! stereotypes! I'm lesbian, and have lots of gay/lesbian friends, and met 100s of gays and lesbians. you need to get out more....and you watch too many tv shows and movies! by the way...we ARE normal, everyday people!

Answer 10

this question is ridiculous just because some one is gay doesn't mean they lisp, have good fashion sense or walk around limp writed. there are way more people who are gay that dont fit that stereotype than do fit it