Matured people, already divorced, please do help me to face boldly the divorce. I rqst for practical advice?

Question

Im Indian wife is Chinese. Im 60 & she 40. We have 9 yr boy. She started chatting on Yahoo a year ago & knows many young men. Nw she wants divorse. We r together si 18 years. This has disturbed my mind too much. I love my kid too much. She also loves him but
she gives more time to chating I give more time to kid. Kid loves both parents n feels that he
needs both parents. If I divorce, I can take care of my emotions very well I do not know
my kid's emotions whn he will be away from mum. Since two months, my wife is insisting for divorce but I am
avoiding, telling that the kid needs both parents. Im away from India since 30 years though oftenly visit India. In India, I have social support but life is much more easy
where I live presently. Im afraid kid can adopt a new atmosphere or not who is born and brought up here.
If I take my kid to India, I have no confidence if I can take
care of him very well or not. I need adv fm matured people
faced similar problems.

Answer 1

best fing 2 do is get some advice from a counclillar or som1 like dat

Answer 2

Culture hasn't anything to do with divorce. She obviously is not happy in the relationship the two of you have at standing. Being a wife and a mother can strip a women of her own needs and personal identity. Perhaps look at the reasons you came together in the first place. Then see if the two of you can find a common interest that suits her more than your needs.
Involve your son in family activities that help to heal the separation and longing you are all feeling. Running to another country to start over for yourself is hard enough, but to bring your child with you is not always a good thing. 1. You may not by law be allowed to remove him from his land of residence. 2. What kind of impact will it have on him to leave his mom alone. You may want to abandon your wife but this may not be what all wants. Try to discourage her from any rash moves, and try to rekindle your friendship and then your love. She gets invisible attention from the chat rooms, how about some person to person attention from you the husband.. Turn her around. If after all your exhausted efforts she still wants to call it quits, let her she has the right to make that decision regarding her future.
Always both parties be reminded that in the out come the future of your son also changes forever.. Good Luck...Hope it works out for you.

Answer 3

U try your maximum level to make understand your wife for the sake of the kid. Does the kid very much attached to u? Then u r lucky. In India there is no probled in bringing up the child alone. Many helping hands and affectionate people are here in India. If the kid can live without his mother u can take steps. But if she wants a divorce let ker apply for it. If u both fight the child will feel miserable. So go for councelling and take a decision.

Answer 4

Your in a sticky situation here, your damned if you do and your damned if you don't. You are not going to be able to stop your wife from doing the things that she is doing. She is not going to change. Your going to have to find ways to deal with that, like moving on. If she is that tied up into her own life and not that of your sons that there is nothing you can do. I'm sure that you will do fine which ever route you choose. Good luck.>

Answer 5

first ur age gap and long stay outside has got lot to do with her unsatisfaction, physically.
second, it may not be possible for u at this stage to hold on to her as she is perhaps, looking for better and satisfying relationship outside the marriage.