Is a peace activist costume offensive?

Question

Hello all. Little problem (again) with my parents, though it left me more confused than anything...I'm 26, with a hubby and nearly 11 month old son. For Halloween, we dressed up our son as a 60's peace activist, as we found some cool grungy camo trousers, a linen shirt and a khaki overshirt in the bargain bin at the Baby Gap. We made a little sign saying "Make Cookies, Not War!" as a funny joke and took him trick or treating with the neighbours and their kids. Everyone thought he was cute, and our 80 something year old neighbour loved it, and gave him a hug and a tangerine.

Yesterday, I sent the pics to my mom and dad and family as I do to keep them in the loop of our lives as I am an American living in Scotland. I got an email from my dad this morning saying that he was offended by our costume and pretty much said, live your life keep us out of it. I fail to understand where a simple Halloween costume can cause so much offense. Sure, I can understand if it's Hitler or a

suicide bomber, but a peace activist??

Am I going nuts or does that sound looney tunes?? It's a bloody costume, and now my folks won't bloody talk to me. We've had trouble with the folks before and I still don't think they've forgiven us (we asked them for money in my trust fund which they refused to give us so we could put a deposit on a flat).

Am I in the wrong??

Here's the offending costume so you can see for yourself...

http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=3160142&imageID=1363799746

No offense taken, brianthesnail - it was a last minute idea and we saw some clothes at the Baby Gap for sale, and thought it was a cute idea. I just don't understand why they are so miffed? Surely, a devil costume or something mocking religious figues would be more offensive?

More than a little hurt that even given recent disagreements (which I thought we were patching up), that he would get so worked up about a costume that was obviously not meant as an insult to anyone.

My parents are not war activists, btw.

Answer 1

No I dont think you were worng. In fact that is very cute! I would have hugged him too. But about your parents, maybe even if you dont think you are wrong, you should apologize. It's best to have them in your life a little, they are your parents. Just be nice, and let them get their way on the little things, not the big things and you'll have smooth sailing for the most part. It's one of those, just over look it things. So, they complain about a costume, it's not the end of the world. They still love you, even if they are being rude and obnoxious sometimes. I still fight with my mother over my lifestyle , but for the most part, I dont ask about the things that bother me about her and she dosen't ask about my things that bother her. We love each other, but it's kind of a slient agreement. and when they bring up something you dont want to talk about just say "Hey Mom(or Dad) I dont share your opinion on that, and even though it is valid, I dont want to hear it, it will just cause an agrument" You know the old never talk about politics, sex or religion around the dinner table rule! Be nice and polite but firm and they will understand you are an adult now with your own feelings and opinions, their thoughts on that be damned. They will learn to let it go, but you have to let it go first. Thats who I deal with my mother, and it works. Just always be polite and you'll be fine.

Answer 2

The costume is not offensive--I think your son looks adorable!

When you get an email like that from a family member, it's pretty passive-aggressive. If he is actually telling you he doesn't want to be part of your life anymore, then doing it via an email is cowardly, to say the least. And not wanting to have contact with a grandchild? Not normal, I assure you! It's likely that he's trying to get you to do what he wants with this action, which probably involves being more conservative, etc. But as you are clearly old enough to give him a grandchild, that makes you an adult and he will have to relate to you as one.

Send hiim a simple email back. Say you don't understand his anger, and that you're sorry he's offended, but that you don't feel a halloween costume warrants being thrown out of his life. Invite him to explain himself, but don't grovel. If you don't hear back from him, wait awhile. Where's your mom in all this?

Good luck to you!

Answer 3

Well, sorry to say (no offence meant) this is typical of over-sensitive American extremism, in this case Political correctness. You were having fun, enjoying the basic joy of life by portraying an amusing anecdote in a visual form. You werent out burning flags or ranting about the basic problem of human muppetry were you.
About time people reminded themselves what a sense of humour is. With this kind of reaction its no wonder that the West are constantly attracting the extremist veiws of the East.
You certainly have no reason at all to apologise.

Answer 4

I think you parents have over reacted big time! He looks gorgeous and I dont see how anyone could take offence at him. I mean without the sign hes just a cute baby with a pumpkin, and I think its a novel idea for dressing up rather than the usual run-of-the-mill stuff.
Let your parents sort it out themselves coz I would say it really is their problem.

Answer 5

I wonder if your parents are a little right wing?
I guess they are at an age where they remember Vietnam. What were their views at the time?

The only thing I can think that might be offensive about the costume is if Americans thought it might be anti-America.

Answer 6

Your folks have overreacted, but I've seen that with a lot of Americans. (No offence, but American's can't take a joke like we can). Send your folks a message clearly explaining it was just a joke and meant no offence to anyone, Your parents love you, that's obvious, as you are in constant correspondance with them. they will forgive you soon enough. Just try to me mindful that your dad may not get all of our jokes.

By the way, I think he looks great, and I'm in the military!

Answer 7

Sounds as though the old man might be a bit of a red neck. You were perfectly correct in what you did and I hope you always encourage you little boy to look for peace in this world.

Answer 8

Unfortunately i feel by putting the slogan about cookies and war you inadvertently made a political statement. From the sounds of it it was totally unintentional, we all from time to time do this. Take it on the chin and learn from this unfortunate unintentional mistake.

Point this out to your dad and as a dad I'm sure it will very soon be water under the bridge

Answer 9

I very own ninety acres of combination farm land, wooded area, wetlands and creeks. I oftentimes walk interior the woods and function some spots i like to sit down and take in our environment. Mary Jane usually tags alongside with me?

Answer 10

for a war activist it will be!