he really hurt you, what would u conclude???
2006-11-01 20:53:27 · 23 answers · asked by genieejj 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Once someone is violent there is a good chance it will happen again. Nobody has the right to hurt or threaten you - a marriage is supposed to be about love and respect neither of which feature in violence no matter what the abuser may say. It is never because they love you....... By all means talk it through - but beware once is once to many, and is almost never the last time.
2006-11-01 20:59:43 · answer #1 · answered by tigger_girl_uk 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Determine the cause of the change. Is he depressed? Some men, fighting severe depression, will turn it outward and become violent, as opposed to inward and commit suicide. We don't do neither enough to help men with depression, or even let them know there is help. What is worse, the mental health programs are designed to help women, not men.
There are also no federal programs to address men's health. The very first federal men's health commission was started just last Spring, and it is unfunded. This compared to hundreds of fully funded federal women's health commissions,
Contact the Men's Health Network for help. Get him to a doctor for a full physical. If he won't go, than have him committed as a danger to the public, meaning you. If you involve the courts, you will open up a hornet's nest that you may not be ready for, right now. It may be needed later, but right now, let's see if there is something going on that can be treated. Once you involve the DV court, you will be bombarded with representatives from women's groups telling you that you that he can't be help and for you to run. Odd that they never say that about abusive women, who account for 39% of of DV attacks.
2006-11-02 05:15:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, He will probably do it again when things don't go his way.. Drugs or an affair could be possible. If you feel safe then talk about it with him and listen with both ears .Listen for signs of those things and DO NOT tolerate it again . When you see a pattern that indicates a behavior change of this magnitude . Something is terribly wrong. Don't wait for the hit, When abusive words and temper starts going out of control get out before it goes further. I know you must love him but, if he loved you this would not be happening and remember love is not physical pain. You WILL be OK you have all of us on YAHOO :)
2006-11-02 05:34:04 · answer #3 · answered by alheseas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to ask yourself first, why did he hurt you?
Is there something that you have done that might have provoked him to hurt you?
If the your answer to the above question is no, do not pack your bags yet. Try to widen your inquiry/investigation. Does he have problems at work or with his business? Being anxious about having big problems can cloud ones judgment and he may not be thinking clear when he hurt you. I am sure it is very easy just to leave someone but think of the aftermath. You have to undergo divorce (if you are married). If you have kids, another problem.
You may want to confront him when he is in a clearer state of mind and ask him about these things.
If it was just a slap in the face, i hope leaving him would be your last resort. Give him another chance. But if you were beaten black and blue, you may opt for the last resort this instant
2006-11-02 05:10:03 · answer #4 · answered by JustMe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Getting the law involved will show him that a second time will never occur because you have the authority and might to do something about it. Doesn't mean you love him less or want him to suffer...get support from friends and go make a police report and when you are sure you want the relationship to continue, seek couple counselling. You may be causing him more harm by not seeking outside help. And of course your well being comes first. Physically separate yourself from him until you decide you feel safe, if ever.
2006-11-02 05:02:32 · answer #5 · answered by Craiova 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just because it's the first time after four years doesn't mean it's ok!! If he really hurt you physically you need to remove yourself from the situation (for a few days) and then talk to him about it after things have cooled off. Reassess your relationship. You should strongly consider getting counselling or him having anger management help, and really think about if you want to stay with a person who could do that to you!
2006-11-02 05:01:05 · answer #6 · answered by jenieatworld 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Report the abuse to authorities. Abuse is abuse. There is no excuse for abuse ever. Contact your local woman's shelter, even if you do not need to take shelter at this time they have experience and can advise you of programs in your area. Try to get your husband to get some counselling as well.
2006-11-02 04:58:40 · answer #7 · answered by Supplicant 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I would seek medical and legal help. Call the police! Second of all, if this is the first time in four years, it represents an episode, not a behavior. But he does need to get help.
2006-11-02 05:04:19 · answer #8 · answered by skydivemommy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Drugs would be my first thought. My second would be to file charges. My mom doesn't hit, and she gave me life, I'll be damned if my husband is going to hit me. Get out and dump the loser. Don't cave in when he comes crawling back whining and crying, that he'll never do it again, that's what they all say. Good luck.
2006-11-02 04:59:14 · answer #9 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
he got some unresolves issues and taking his frustration out on you for some reason. It could be a variable of things drugs, stress or he way of acting out! Be careful you need to leave that is one thing i am not having!
2006-11-02 04:55:59 · answer #10 · answered by God's chosen 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋