I am a newleywed and my husband is lazy but he does work. His breath also smells bed and that turns me off.?

Question

I do love him but times I ask myself am I in love with him. He is the best thing I could have asked for in a man. I have had alot of relationships and I knew he was the one. He want go to the doctor or denist. He was going to the denist before we got married and now he has completely stoped. His breath smells all day long and it makes me sick at my stomach to smell it. Its a big turn off to me and our sex life is lacking because of this. Also he is forever scratching his nuts and I tell him that he has to have some type of infection but he still hasnt went to the doctor. Also this man its like as soon as he gets hungry and he eats then he cant even think straight or keep his eyes open. He gets really nasty with my family, its like he is just uncontrolable after he eats or if he is really tierd... I just need some suggestions to help save my marriage.

Answer 1

You are a newlywed, but didn't say how long you have been married... my question is, how long have you been married and what was it you fell in love with before you married him? I am sure he hasn't changed that much from the pre-wedding courtship to the present time... so there must have been some kind of attraction to get you to marry him! There are many reasons why someone has bad breath.. teeth problems, stomach problems, various infections, no oral hygiene, certain food reactions, etc... It's a good time to get a check-up again!
Take him aside and talk to him, tell him how much you love him and that your attraction to him would be much more intensified if you could help him with this problem... It sounds like he has needed to go to a dr. for many reasons... it's not normal for a man as young as yours to be so tired all the time either... but that is not uncommon for a hard working man, most of them that I've known anyway! My first husband had a lot of the same problems that you described about yours, and sometimes I just had to deal with it, but sometimes I did give him mints or gum...
I had him around for 20 years, and we had 6 children together... and one day he died in his sleep....He would never go to a dr. or dentist! That was so hard for me to handle, I was a single mom overnight and I would have given anything to have him back... even with his bad habits and awful breath! I really miss that man alot! Don't let the little things in life ruin a great marriage.... and make the best of what you have... someday it could be taken away from you and then you are left alone crying over him! It really hurts!

Answer 2

You need to communicate your feelings with your husband, in a positive yet productive way. Don't critize too harshly because that will make him defensive but do talk to him about it. You need to tell him how serious the situation is and how much its affecting you. But besides the bad breath, there are other bad habits that you need to reduce your reaction to when he shows them...rather than condemn him. If he's such a great man, you should understand him and completely accept him...he's an entire package, you can't select what you like and throw away what you don't like. However his bad breath is something that should be taken care of, tell him he should do it otherwise he'll suffer chronic tooth pain and in the end get infections that could even destroy his face.

Answer 3

Well.........My Q is.....How long were the two of you were dating before getting hitched??? a month???
It seems to me that you guys either dated a very short time or he did not acted like this when you guys were dating.......
Confront him about the problems that you see or issues that you have. Marriage is an institution, and communication is always the key to sucess, tell him that he needs to work on those issues. Don't give him an ultimatum......that's not a good sign, is like saying do this or else. I'm assuming he is a grown man not a child. Work at it together, ask him what would he like for you to change, as far as habits and such that he might not like, compromise.....


Good Luck

Answer 4

Girl,
What do you see in 5 years?
Men, cant break habits.

I have a lady friend, she is so cool, she loves her husband of 17 years. Her husband became a couch potato,
she is funny.
She went out, to a second hand store, bought him in his size, a suit, socks shoes, the hole nine yards.
About 5 am she woke him up, told him she was tired of this kind of life, he had two choices. One, look for work, two, stay away.
But he could not come back until he had a pay check in his hand.
She made him take a shower, shave, and ware that suit. He had to stay at his moms till his first check came in. She would not let him in, she locked him out. she made him give up the key when he went to look for a job.
He would come home, she would look at him from a window, and shrug her shoulders an say, where’s the pay check?
She would show him his key, you have this back when you have a check. You don’t support me, you cant stay with me. You don’t love me. No check no key, no loven.
He was gone for 2 months. He came back. With his first pay check. She looked at it. From the window, and told him it wasn’t good enough. She wanted a life with stuff. And if he could not give her a home, the car, an the kids with collage paid, keep on going.
She told him, your not depriving me from my dreams. Get it, or Get out.
He got the good job. She gets to go into full time ministry the first of the year.
Tuff love is what he needs. Be mom now, stick to it.

Answer 5

When I was a kid, my mother put us to bed at 7:30 until we were about 10 years old. We didn't necessarily have to go to sleep, per se, but we were in bed at 7:30. This was largely due to the fact that mom didn't have much help from my father and she needed a break in the evenings. We'd read quietly, hang out and talk quietly (those who shared a room, at any rate) and eventually we'd fall asleep... when it got dark. My five year old goes to bed at 8/8:30, but doesn't have to get up until 8 am. If you don't need the time to yourself in the evening, then 7:30 is too early. If you do, then it's not. In other words, if it's about what's best for you/him - 7:30 might be fine. If it's about what's best for the kids... it's too early.

Answer 6

This reminded me so much of my ex-marriage.

One morning, I rolled over and smelled my ex-husband's breath when he said good morning. It was so bad, and it smelled like that all the time. That day I moved into the spare bedroom and a few months later I moved out. He was also lazy and surly. He worked hard but other things about him were intolerable.

My new man, the one I adore, even when his breath is bad, even when he's a jerk, even when we argue, I still love him. That's how I know he's the one.

This man is not the one for you - you'll figure that out in time. That's my opinion at least.

Answer 7

Teetee: I can't advise you on that... being a male I don't understand women and their issues. But I do know this, when it come to relationship advice a woman should never take advice from a man. Take your answer from a WOMAN who corresponds with your question. She probably has had the right experience and the proper answer for you but their isn't a man I know, or know of that can advise a woman on relationships.

Answer 8

Maybe he has sweaty testicles- if it were crabs you would have them too- or jock itch is like athletes foot only in the jock-If he does not get his teeth fixed he can wind up with an infection that can poison his whole system and die- it is so important to get it taken care of- let him know that- it can effect so much= D

Answer 9

Yuk he sounds gross - go to Walgreens or WalMart and buy a toothpaste and mouth rinse called TheraBreath, it works like a charm. Make him use a tongue scraper too. If he doesn't clean up his act, you should dump his butt - it sounds like you settled for a slug.

Answer 10

He sounds realllly disgusting. Tell him that he is not helping the relationship and that he needs to go to the doctor and dentist. You are better then him and if you are not getting the respect you deserve you need to see a marriage counselor.