To keep the story short, i am 23 lesbian. The women i fall for is 15 yrs older then me. Her husband is my best friend. I always have some sort of feelings for her, but she is married and i didn't think it would be possilbe she would love me back. Well, i guess nothing is impossible now, she ask me one night if i like her, i didn't response at that time, but she said because of the way i treat her, she is starting to fall for me, i was shock. We did have a chance to sleep together, but i stopped her, especially when she had a bit to drink. After 3 month i decided to leave and came to England. I really lover her, therefore, i don't want to destroy their marriage, she told me once if something happen between them is not my fault but i feel like it would be. We still keep in touch and talk on the phone everyday, we both care about each other, i never cross the line though. Am i doing the right thing? She is not happy with her marriage, one is someone you love, one is your best friend.
2006-11-01 16:42:54 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If u really care and respect them both then do the right thing and stay out of their marriage. Even if she assures u it's not your fault, keep in mind that it takes two to cheat. Don't be part of the problem.
U did the right thing by moving away.
2006-11-01 16:45:54 · answer #1 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think honestly that some where in you`re heart ,you know that you are doing wrong,it`s ok to be friendly with this lady and talk to her gave her advise,but i am afraid that she may be using you.It is much easier for her to have someone like you to think about,when she is having marriage probelms.Than to be a grown up and sort out the probelms she has with her husband.At the end of the day she is still with him,While you are a lone at home thinking some thing could happen.You seem like a reallly nice person and you will find some one else out there with less probelms.Friendship should never be cheated and think of how the husband would feel if you ever did something about it,you would be one part at fault of breaking up a marriage .Don`t do it to you`re self respect girl!I think you are better than that !
My advise is to say to this lady ,that you are very worried about hurting the husband as he has been a friend for a long time,and you want to be friends with her ,but thats it.You feel terrrible things are about to go bad ,and it is selfish to do this behide his back !
You can still love her like you love your`re best friend ,it`s just easy to mix up feelings ,as you are attracted to woman .Take it easy on you`re self and do what you`re heart say`s is the right think.I do wish you luck and as i said before go out have fun and may be meet some one with less bagage and sad tales ,life is for living and having a bit of a laugh,but also being nice to people and not being a cheat !!!
2006-11-01 19:24:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its good that you distanced yourself, I believe you are doing the right thing by having respect for thier marriage and not interfering. If they are truely meant to be then it will last, but if not atleast you will know that its nothing you did. Its hard to love someone when they can't be with you... It is also hard to hurt your bestfriend by acting on it. You seem like a very smart person to do what you did. I have deep respect for you, and this is coming from a woman who's husband fell in love with someone else but decided not to act on it. Move on with your life, after all there will be many loves in your life. But keep her somewhere in your heart. If things dont work out somewhere down the road and you both were truely meant to be together then eventually it could happen. You were in a really rotten situation. I feel sorry for all three of you. Sorry for the both of you because you fell in love with someone who was already married, sorry for her because she has feelings for you but is married, and sorry for him because his best friend is in love with his wife and if she left him for you it would have hurt more than anything in the world. But you did the right thing sweety. You seem to have your priorities in line. Don't let things go farther with her. You dont want to cause trouble in their marriage. You are in a very compromising position considering either way one of you could have been hurt if you had stayed.
Goodluck to you sweety and I hope that you find happiness
2006-11-01 16:58:21 · answer #3 · answered by beautifullybroken 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is your best friend why would you even think of destroying his marriage.
If you do make a move on this woman no matter what she says it will be at least partially your fault because you are a willing participant. Making a move will also encourage her to betray her husband and her wedding vows. You are walking on sacred ground here a place where you have no business.
Bow out gracefully and leave your fiends to live their life as husband and wife
2015-12-05 10:45:53 · answer #4 · answered by Just Mopar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You obviously crossed the line without even knowing it, you know how? Because she figured it out and thats why she asked you whether you like her. So you may think you didnt cross the line but you did. Leave her alone so she can figure out what she wants to do with her marriage, you're distracting her. You shouldnt even call the guy your best friend, you double crossed him the second you started having feelings for his wife.
2006-11-01 17:51:14 · answer #5 · answered by VolimT 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HI even if i was at your place may be i would have got the same problem. being a lesbian is not something to be ashamed of. your lover is married to your best friend. he must be a loving husband too. you are absolutely right at your place if you are trying to stay away from her for sake of her married life.loving doesnt mean taking ones life. it means giving life. isnt it?
you must tell her to be patient in her relation and ask her for the right time to come. everything will settle on its own gradually
dont worry!
2006-11-01 16:51:49 · answer #6 · answered by munmun g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, how hard was that, it sounds like you really do love her, especially after you decided to leave the country, you are doing the right thing, as you said one is your best friend and the other is the women you love.........if she is not happy in her marriage, then it may break up, so what would you do then, it would be hard for you.....i hope all goes well good luck and god bless
2006-11-01 17:12:45 · answer #7 · answered by donua1022 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're doing the right thing in not getting involved. Let their marriage take it's own course: if it fails and they divorce or at least seperate, then you can develop your own relationship with this woman. If it never breaks down, then don't hang on forever. Set yourself a time parameter to wait for, and if you end up waiting for her beyond this, then its time to move on with your life, and find someone who really does want your company. Hope I've helped. Good luck either way.
2006-11-01 16:47:02 · answer #8 · answered by Ollie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Totally you did the right thing,i am full of praise and admiration for you!! I replied to your post with what i considered to be a really good answer,it was certainly a very long answer anyway(!!)but it got binned by yahoo,again!(happened to me yesterday too,dunno why i bother sometimes!)You can sleep well at night knowing that you did the right thing here,and who knows what the future may hold for you-if your two friends divorce-what goes around comes around,it works both ways you know!!Top lady-best of...
2006-11-01 20:47:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe you are doing the right thing...however if you do love her and this is something only you might know I strongly recommend that you go all out for her and let the chips fall as they may. Your friend, her husband might be as unhappy as his wife... so you might end up doing all a great favour!
2006-11-01 17:33:23 · answer #10 · answered by ragemaster 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋