I'm sick of being afraid of everybody / everything all the time?

Question

I hate it! I'm afraid of cool girls, attractive guys, new people, the prospect of a new job, of moving, of traveling (alone), etc. I think most of all I'm afraid of being around happy, confident people.

How do I MAKE myself more confident? I want to be smooth, comfortable in any situation or with anybody; fearless.

Answer 1

in my opinion you need to see a psychiatrist. if the neurotransmitters in your brain are not "regulated", a little medicine may be all it takes.

Answer 2

There are 3 long responses to your question that have a lot of wisdom in them. I have been there & done that. I felt incompetent, awkward, less than others, full of fear, & afraid to do anything, till I discovered alcohol. BAD IDEA. For awhile, I felt handsome, witty, a charmer, could dance, etc. ad nauseum, but only when drinking. Then I became addicted and it quit working & I was even more miserable.

I got professional help. Eventually I kicked the drugs & booze with the help of AA. With a lot of support, I began taking small risks, which made me feel better. Then larger ones. I am not cured, but I can do everything sober I used to have to be drunk to do plus a LOT more. I usually believe I am a worthwhile, good person today.I am more likely to take risks, try new things. I discovered I am an OK writer, a good public speaker, and a worthwhile friend, even to myself.

Like I said, I needed professional help, both psychotherapy, & eventually medication. Maybe it will help you to know most of those confident people you envied were just as scared as you inside, but learned to cope with it better. Courage is not the absence of fear, but working through it to do what you want or need to do. Anybody who is fearless, seriously, is a fool or insane.
All normal people have fear, and insecurity. and doubt. You can find a way to work through them . All it takes is a lot of help & support, and love.

Good Luck, Hon..

Answer 3

I was(and still am,to an extent)just like that.It gets better with age,but the only advice I can give you for the present is,get comfortable with yourself.I think it is really YOU that you are afraid of.See,you're really great,but for some reason,you're afraid to accept that.First you have to decide that you don't care what other people think about you.Be who you are and do what you want,and the rest will fall into place.I let my weirdness take over when I got divorced.I worked at Goodwill when I was 25 and wore wacky clothes and hats and glued stones to my forhead.People loved it.I got my nose pierced when I was 26,because I'd always wanted to.People liked it.Once I let it all hang out,I became more popular because I wasn't afraid to do the weird,wacky things,and people admire it.Plus,when you do that,you make other people at ease with you.Opinions matter more to you when you're younger,but it really isn't all that important.I'm not suggesting you do the things I did,but just loosen up and don't care so much.Confidence attracts,and it just takes a little.Good luck.I don't think you need a shrink,just for that.Not yet,anyway.Just give yourself a chance.

Answer 4

Oh God, I hear you

I'm 35 years old and till now I go through the same thing, but I did a little improvement in the past couple of years, I pushed myself to do the things I was afraid to do, I went to the dentist after 5 years of delay, I did check up which I feared a lot, it was a very slow improvement and I still fear and avoid many , and I mean many things, but at least I started.
So, my advice to you is start with something you don't fear a lot and try to do it, and when you do celebrate and be proud of yourself, it will give you the self confidence you need and you will be ready to do another thing, keep the ones you fear most to the end, and hopefully you will try to over come it, I'm still trying to reach that stage, but I'm really proud of what I was able to achieve . Good luck to both of us

Answer 5

I have social aniety just like you it seems. This is what really helped me over the past few months.

1) Identify when these feelings occurs.
2) What ever caused these feelings, make it seem small. For example, if I'm scared to walk in the opposite direction of someone, I say (inside myself) "Who the f**ck does s/he think s/he is?" I belittle them, thus giving me that bit more confidence.

Answer 6

I have the same problem but I just deal with it and dive in. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

Small amounts of alcohol can lower your anxiety, but I don't want you to become an alcoholic. Don't do meds either, pharaceutical companies invent conditions to market their expensive drugs.

Just be yourself and force yourself into uncomfortable situations gradually so you can get used to them. My wife helps me do that by encouraging me and daring me and poking and prodding me until I give in. And usually it is no big deal.

Many people are happy on the outside and empty on the inside. Just be happy with them.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

sweetie-you just need to really figure out who you are...all the good stuff, like integrity, respect, kindness, etc. just comcentrate on those things to get yourself to good. your confidence will shine!

Answer 9

It sounds like you have social anxiety. Talk to your Dr. about it. There are meds that can help you.

Answer 10

Buy an AK47