He left his wife a couple years ago & has been acting different the last year or so. He got drunk a few nights ago & told me he's been in love with me for years. This is a friend that I love like a brother. I just don't know what to do. I am a straight happily married man with children.
2006-11-01 16:06:47 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
If you are really close friends you shouldn't care if he's gay. But considering his feelings for you, you need to set some ground rules. Tell him you are sorry that you can not return his feelings & that you do not want to lose your friendship so he needs to keep his feelings to himself if he makes you uncomfortable. Be supportive and offer to help him find someone else, who meets your approval because you don't want to see him get hurt.
2006-11-01 16:10:47 · answer #1 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
You should tell just what you said. You love him like a brother. And that will never change. He should know that you are straight, but tell that. Also, tell him even if you were gay, he would still be your brother. Respect him for being strong enough to live his life the way he chooses. As along as he respect you and your sexual preference their should not be any problems. If he does not, he does not respect you. If that is the case you don't need him for a friend.
2006-11-02 00:15:37 · answer #2 · answered by TRELANE P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OOHHHH, I feel sorry for you. It is bad to be put in that situation. You like him obviously, as a brother, and he is mistaking it to get it on with you. You need to put it straight at him that you cannot be that way with him, but in reality, he is not going to get over htis anytime soon. He has probally thought long and hard about telling you this, and got the courage to come out and say it. If you stay friends with him, it will get worse. He will always think you are going to sway his way, and he will start hating your family thinking they are in his way of him having you. So it boils down to, you have got to back off right now. You cannot see him anymore. If you care for him in a botherly friend way, it is the best thing to do. Until he gets this out of his system. It may break your 15 year friendship for good, or taking a long break until he moves onto somebody else, maybe later in life you can become friends again when he introduces you to his gay lover. But right now, it means time to end this.
2006-11-02 00:16:07 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They say when you get drunk the truth comes out. Don't let him ruin what you have, (a wife and kids) you are doing good. I understand you love him like a brother but what if the whole time her loved you in a gay type of way and was afraid to say it. Try to talk to him and get the point across that you only like him a brother not in a gay type of way. If y'all was that cool he should understand.
2006-11-02 00:16:00 · answer #4 · answered by daimond_princess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that you are not interested in him like that but you will continue to love him as a brother as long as he respects the fact that you are a happily married, straight man, with children.
2006-11-02 00:15:47 · answer #5 · answered by goldie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok if this happened to me...
I would be like ok man, say no im not mad dont worry about it and totally abandon him as a friend and totally ignore and stay away from him..
you can take the high road and support him, tell him hey dude I aint gay i have a family I aint into that kind of lifestyle and be all supportive and lovey dovey...
2006-11-02 00:12:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Woooooo, thats hard info. i know thats got to be hard to take! But if you are truely happy with were you are in your life (love your wife and children) then you have to let your friend know that you love him like a brother, and thats it. nothing more. i know you don't want to hurt him and is trying to find a easy way to tell him that, but you have to let him know were you stand, and thats STRAIGHT, with your wife and kids. i can tell that u r a good person, and that you will help your friend through this hard time of getting over you. check back in with me. GOOD LUCK!
2006-11-02 00:19:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd be friends with him still. I bet he couldn't help how he feels about you and how he found himself being gay. At least he is honest about it (even though he was prob drunk, but who cares.)
Just let him know (when he is sober) that you don't feel the same way, but still love and respect him. These two don't need to change.
2006-11-02 00:14:51 · answer #8 · answered by Mumbling Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow what a zinger! What you should do is tell him that you appreaciate his honest. However that your a very happily married. Even if you weren't happily married that your interest is strickly for the female gender.
2006-11-02 00:21:23 · answer #9 · answered by wondermom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be gentel you don't want him to make a scene, tell him that you love him as a friend/brother and that your happily married. and than maybe try to distance yourself from eachother for a while and try not to see to much of eachother.
2006-11-02 00:25:29 · answer #10 · answered by Adonis 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋