Have you ever been a victim of such blatant, deliberate racism that it just rocked your core???

Question

I am a nurse, and I had a patient (private duty twelve hour shifts within the patient's home) her name was Ivy.

Working there was six months of pure hell. Ivy was not a stereotypical 'southern' style racist. One that is upfront, honest, and you can immediately dismiss as 'ignorant'. She was born and raised in California, well learned, well traveled, prestigious family, etc.
That six months, while caring for her, and trying to bring goodness to her life as her nurse, I also became her friend. It took about three months, 60 hours a week (5 day shift) to RETEACH everything she had come to believe about Black people. It was perverse just how she had come to view black people.
The media helps perpetuate this as well. But have any of you......of ANY race ever experienced something so significant, that you will NEVER forget it????

There were nights that Ivy had me running to my car just so I could cry, scream, and PRAY. It hurt like hell, but I definetely grew from it, she did to.

Cesare, my family IS from the South. Lousiana to be exact. You are right, there are very intelligent, gifted people from the South. MY FAMILY are some of them. NOTICE I said "stereotypical". FOR ME, that is the stereotype that comes to mind. That is a description of what my granny, and aunts and older adults in my family used to tell me of experiencing. California racists, are much better at controlling the form it is shown in. They are more tactful, and exact. So....thanks for the 'education', but no thanks for NOT answering the question.

Answer 1

That is so admirable that you were able to persevere in that situation. I would like to thank you for fighting racism in the most productive way possible.

I am white, but I too have experienced racism. My best friend is black, and many people assumed that we were dating. There were many people who would not talk to me or even look at me- mostly black women and white men.

Another time, I asked my neighbor (black) to turn down his music because we could not hear the TV in our own apartment. One of the guys came out and called me a "white c*nt" and said that if he were listening to country I would not mind the music and several other mean and disrespectful things. He had me cornered and I was not able to get away. As soon as I got into my apartment and locked the door, I started crying. I cried a little because of fear, a little out of anger, but mostly because of the extreme display of how much hatred one person can show to another with the smallest provocation.

Racism is an ugly thing. I think that it weakens our country more than terrorism ever could. It's like a virus from the inside whereas terrorism is like an attack from the outside. I long for the day when we all call ourselves Americans instead of black, white, or whatever.

Answer 2

I'm adopted and most of my family is white. My brother and I went out to eat one say with my two kids. It was one of the most uncomfortable experiences I have ever had. My family and I have been out to eat many times and I never felt like that. People though we were a couple. The were looking at us strange, the waitress would stare from across the building at us and talk with the others. We were in a small suburb in Georgia where I thought most people knew us. It was not an experience I would want to have again thatz for sure.

Answer 3

The fact that you just said "southern style racist" offends me. You must be a northerner.

I'm sorry your feelings were hurt. I guess the closest I ever came to feeling like that was when one of my co-workers, who I was very close to, showed up at work one day and told me she didn't want to go hang out that night because she had just watched "Rosewood" and didn't feel she could stand white people. It was totally out of character for her, because she was always the happiest, most accepting person I knew. I just gave her some space, and eventually she was back to her usual sunny self.

Also, my best friend is Oneida Indian. One day a few years ago she took me to an Indian Manpower meeting, and I was the only white face there. Not a problem, except that their topic of discussion was how the Europeans came and took their land. I felt like I was personally responsible for the Trail of Tears!

Answer 4

Being biracial, I have experienced racism I'll never forget from both sides. The best thing I've found is to just be educated and try to show those that aren't why what they feel is wrong, and why being who you are is absolutely fine in a place that is supposed to value differences while celebrating our unification as a country.

Even though it hurt you, you can rest assured that she probably spread the word that what she thought (and consequently others in her family) about black people wasn't right. You can also be very proud of yourself for showing her such a thing without violence (verbal and otherwise) that would prove her right.

Good for you. :)

Answer 5

"Working there was six months of pure hell. Ivy was not a stereotypical 'southern' style racist. One that is upfront, honest, and you can immediately dismiss as 'ignorant'. She was born and raised in California, well learned, well traveled, prestigious family, etc. "

Oh my.....Southern style?
Maybe you could do a google search on some well know "racist", (or a better more correct term would be racially aware), and you would see that most of them have very impressive educations.

As with any group of people there are educated and uneducated. And I will have you know, I know many Southerners that are very intelligent and well educated.

In answer to the question- no I have not been a victim.

So a Southern racist that is upfront and honest is ignorant? I see those as good quality's, better than hiding your feelings

Answer 6

Fortunately, her kind are a minority here, isn't it?

Besides, look at this!

You stayed by her side despite her bigotry and she didn't fire you because of your color.

Hell, sistah, it looks like you two really had a love for each other, that was just being tested with her acting mean.

She was probably trying to bond better by creating these situations where she knew you'd run to your car and where she'd cry and say she didn't know what came over her and possessed her to say such things.

There sure seems to be a lot of unsaid history here, girl.

I'm betting that the two of you are still very good friends, if she's still around.

Sure the Media does do a lot of damage.

Ain'tcha heard that the only "Good News" is Bad News?

The Media just feeds on all the crap it can get.

C'est la vie, sistah.

Answer 7

I think, Life is Not a Mystery, But, IT is Involving Itself, with the Mystery Products Called Humans, May be, It is Worrying About, How to Come Out From the Humans, and Solve the Mystery, Searching for the Time, when ever Necessary, to Destroy Itself with the Humans.

Answer 8

That was an interesting story. It surprises a lot of people to know that there are still quite racist people out there in spite of the progress we've made.
The best way to deal with it, I think, is by doing what you did. If people retaliate with hatred and names, they are only belittling themselves. It frustrates me to hear comments, coming from minorities, against caucasians that entail name calling and stereotypes. Don't they understand that it was because of this type of thinking that their grandparents or even parents often suffered so much in the old North America. Of course there is still going to be some racism, from all sides of the fence, but the best thing to do is to put yourself above it and try to be one of the people in our society that helps us move forward.

Stereotypes are hard to shake though. If you reread your bit about southern racists, you'll notice it in yourself too.

Answer 9

I grew up in the sixties with one of the original Archie Bunkers. He was my step dad, and he hated everyone that wasn't white. My mom thought that she was having a heart attack one day and went to see a neighborhood doctor that was black. when my step dad heard this he didn't even ask if she was O.K., he just started yelling and cussing and threatening her. That was the first time that I ever witnessed pure hate. It took away my innocence and has haunted me all these years.

Answer 10

My hubby's family (with the exception of one)are the largest group of bigots I have known.I'd like to just put them all in a gunny sack and beat it!Awful people!