my partner and i have been together for 8 years and in that time he has never really had a job he has had many good opportunities but just keeps quitting and lives of the money i get from centrelink because we have 6 kids throw in a fairly severe gambling problem.You are all probably thinking just leave but i have nowhere to go and i dont want to end up in a womans shelter and i tell you six kids by yourself is very hard ive tried i lo0ve him dearly but its wearing me down any advice would be great.By the way he is very imtimidating when approached about stuff like this.
2006-11-01 15:49:59 · 10 answers · asked by letmeno 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
6 kids in 8 years?? And he can't get off his butt to support his family??
You'd probably do better on your own.
2006-11-01 16:00:14 · answer #1 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Sweetie,
You maybe are telling yourself you "Love him', But maybe you
are afraid to try and do it on your own,. Believe me, You ARE
stronger than you know. You have 6 kids depending on you
making all the right choices.
Let me tell you something. You are doing a dis-service to your children, They see & hear more than you think. The girls will choose the same type man, because they will think it's "normal" or "Okay" Dad doesn't work. The boys will learn by watching that if they don't want to work,or have bills they can't pay, they can just go find some unsepecting woman to lean on.
It's time to stand up for yourself and your babies.You & they deserve so much better.
You can do it! Talk to a social worker, or family member, a pastor, they deal very well in these situations. They can & will help.
Good Luck! Let us know how your'e doing, OK?
2006-11-01 16:10:19 · answer #2 · answered by schulzeqt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ive said this before and ill say it again, the bible says that love is enduring--love NEVER fails. but we all need a little push sometimes so, if he isn't at least trying to support you and your family then he must not care so much. make him remember how important you really are, I'm from a family of 8 kids and we were poor but my dad did everything he could to make sure that we had what we needed and sometimes wanted. so I know it can be done. he needs to realize that right now hes a special man with 6 kids and a woman that loves him but without the 6 kids and you... he;s nothing.... just a plain ol man without a job. but what you need to do is set aside what we think, or what you want and ask yourself whats best for the children. Good Enough?
2006-11-01 16:07:35 · answer #3 · answered by KatieJB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, this is a tough situation. I know, I have a spouse w/ gambling problem also. Mine does work, but you know where the paychecks end up. I work also, we have 4 children (9,7,7,5). We have been 2 gether for 11 years, married 7 of those.
My point is I know where you're coming from, but there are resources out there to help you and the kids. It's obvious he's not even trying to help, nor does he seem to want to.
So you need to help yourself and those babies. There's more help out there than you probably realize. Start with your local Department of Social and Health Services. Be honest w/them and let them know what you and your children need.
Good luck sweetie!!
Still struggling
2006-11-05 06:16:49 · answer #4 · answered by Diane L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I would not ever say leave, you're right where would you go with six, kids. I would like to know if you get money for your children , for their needs and care why!! '' are you willing to take care of a seventh.. you shopul ask for a new apt. Home or What ever You can be helped with, move to this new place and start off on your own. If you have children that can do part -time work get them one and teach them what is it to, earn your own money and, not depend on anyone for your own support, you should go to a training center which has a childcare program and learn a trade and go to work , for you, and yours and let your sponge-bob , go on with his life and ways . why do you put up with this are'nt you tired already after so many, kids, and so many years of the same nonsense(qoute No sense) wake up times a wasting and you aint goning to get rich by just thinking about, being rich . Richness is not only of money . it is also of a trained mind to respond when times are not right, and the going gets tough.. i mean no disrespect but enough is enough , your kids are our future leaders teach them well so they, can do well for our future..with respect all Gods good wishes for youamd yours..
2006-11-01 16:07:19 · answer #5 · answered by lytesdelite 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to do some serious planning and figure out how you're going to leave him. He seems no good for you, and that he is mainly looking out for himself. If he's using you're money and has a gambling problem, you have to leave. At least for your kids sake. I can say it's better to not have a father around, than having one that is not good, and not good for the mother.
If you can't ask him to shape up, and you can't ask him to leave, then you have to make the choice and leave yourself. Maybe talk to a social worker and get your link payments straightened out so he can't access the money. The hardest part is going to be actually leaving. Just remember that there's a better life waiting for you once you take the steps and find the courage to leave. Good luck, Mom!
2006-11-01 15:59:59 · answer #6 · answered by Jay M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh yeah girl, you are in a huge dilemma.the point is not living or not living him but whats the best for your kids, cause if he is still gambling this can turn into worse than a women's shelter. Can you ask family help? anyway , yes you need serious help.
2006-11-01 16:05:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yup ...yet in addition they know a thank you to joke & make certainly everybody giggle they only take each and everything heavily it incredibly is not undesirable as in actuality their occupation existence develop into large as they know how the job is finished beside their creativity ...particular they could be exciting ..particular they could fall in love yet they could desire to count selection their steps ( it incredibly is like a mistake nw is a mistake continually) :D :D yet they are large thinkers & smart too ^_^
2016-10-21 03:11:28 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of his ***. He dont have a job and it sounds like your not getting much help at home...what good is he? Hell look at it this way...one mouth less to feed.
2006-11-01 15:54:23 · answer #9 · answered by Chickybabe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey you need to not have no more kids and you need to leave hem he is a looser from hell any man that does not support his family he is a *** hoe and you deserve better
2006-11-02 01:23:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋