5yrs ago i fell in love with a lady,i used to see her everyday in school but nothin between us except hi,i kept loving her for 2yrs coz i used to see her everday which i thought that's the reason why i cant let her out of my mind,then i moved to college and i havenot talk to her for 3yrs ,i used to go and see her from a place where she doesnot see me,i still love her although it has been 5yrs till now,i tried all the ways to get her out of my mind but i cant,i just love her and just the thought of her makes me happy,till now i havenot seen her for a whole yr,and i knew that she got married and had a birth few weeks ago but i still love her,i dream of her everyday,i write poems in her names,i make plans for me and her to do in future (although i know we can never be together)...today one of my friends told me to talk to pyscho coz she thinks this is not normal,is she right?
p.s i have a depression for the last 3yrs,is it coz of my love to her?
yes i am a lesb
2006-11-01 15:33:37 · 9 answers · asked by Tara 6 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I dont really know about your depression, this is often related to a fair few things and not just one.
I believe that you have not gotten over it because you never took the chance and went for the girl. So in your mind its like an open book and you cant close it until your character has done what it so desired to do. Maybe you need to express your love for this woman in another way. Or maybe you could even tell her in some way. I know that she is probably happily married and also probably not gay but then i guess you could only expect rejection from this woman. I think for the sake of being over this woman you may need to have a rejection from her.
Maybe then you could write a letter (not a love letter) to explain a few things to her and ask her to reply. Maybe its closure that you need??
Whenever i have had to get over someone i've never been able to until someone else captured my attention. My love for the prev. girl has never dimished but it has changed. I would encourage you to seek a change... I hope for your sake that things will improve at least in the long run if not immediately...
2006-11-01 15:55:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Please face the truth. What you are experiencing is obsession, not love. You cannot love someone in the way you describe without knowing them on a day to day basis, knowing their likes & dislikes, their moods, their beliefs & values, their bad habits.
Being a lesbian is nothing to be ashamed of, nor does it indicate emotional illness. But your obsession does.
I hope you will seek professional help so you can learn how to deal with these feelings in a functional way. Also, feeling depressed for 3 years is not normal. And I would be surprised if you have not had urges to hurt or kill yourself, or to just stop living.
Your friend cares, I care, and many others on here do too. Please get help.
2006-11-02 00:04:20 · answer #2 · answered by bob h 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you really should see a therapist. It sounds like you never had a formal relationship with this person, and she also has her own life now and yet you still obsess over her. I also obsessed over someone for a long time, but I finally realized it wasn't contributing anything of value to my life and I could find someone to replace her if I tried (and someone who was even better than her too!).
I also think the therapist will help you realize that you don't really "love" her - you're deeply infatuated.
2006-11-01 23:43:59 · answer #3 · answered by KatGuy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
okay.. i have nothing against lesbo. well, anyway... this reminds me of someone i know. he loved this girl for 4 years. he didn't even said hi but he always see her on sunday. (yeah, on mass) he didn't have the urge to tell her what he felt which was unfortunate because the girl liked her too. she may also not show her feelings for a few years (not as long as him) but she did love him. anyway, after a few more years, this girl got to doubt the guy. no one ever likes someone who can't tell their own feelings so why don' you. i know she's married and everything, but maybe you'll know what she felt/feels. if she doesn't love you back, it's okay. maybe she's really not the one for you. i know she's married but maybe she was just forced to get married.
for your depression, maybe it is because of her. maybe because you haven't told her what you feel. but if to others it seems like you have a problem, i don't. the guy i told you about is completely normal. he's not psycho.
2006-11-01 23:53:52 · answer #4 · answered by Unexpected Hopeless Romantic 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you need to let her know and get it off your chest so maybe you can get on with your life.It seems as if this might be preventing you from pursuing other relationships. I sincerely think you might need to speak with a therapist so you can get a neutral opinion.Good Luck
2006-11-01 23:38:12 · answer #5 · answered by Uma 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound as if you need to get it out of your sister. A bit obsessive and could turn into something stalkerish. Makes me wonder because you've said you watch her and she doesn't know.
2006-11-01 23:40:46 · answer #6 · answered by Kelli 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe you just need to find someone else to think about. i still love my ex and he hates me. i always hav fallen for two of my best friends at the same time and neither of them know. one is a girl and one is a boy but i cant hav either of them. the depression could b caused by that. you need to find sumone to take your mind of her hun.
2006-11-01 23:40:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
yes go to see a shrink but i think you have to be realistic you have to love somebody else she is already in a relation.
2006-11-01 23:42:07 · answer #8 · answered by dancingwiththestars 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no i think
2006-11-01 23:38:31 · answer #9 · answered by SdM 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋