To get to the point, I don't know how to talk to people, and having gone through depression (still going through it somewhat) and now living a non-productive life (compared to my other peers at 19 yrs old) doesn't really help the cause. Whenever I talk to someone, I only have brief things to say and I can't even get that correctly. Whenever I talk things get jumbled up together and it makes me seem dumb.
As you can see, I have no problem writing out my problems, but if I were to talk to someone about this, the details would be very vague and confusing, and I probably won't even get my point across until 20 minutes later since I have such a problem organizing my speech.
Anyway, what should I do? I have unorganized thoughts that interfere with my speech and makes me seem stupid, I have horrible life experiences that makes me seem dull to talk to - all of which makes me an uninteresting person and interferes with my social life. Any books I can read? what would any of you recommend?
2006-11-01 14:55:59 · 9 answers · asked by NereidoftheBlue 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Dont sweat it. Some of the wisest people I know speak little and listen allot. Okay - so some people might think of you as a snob. There is irony in that. I mean, how snobbish it is to look down on someone who doesn't rattle their mouths all the time.
If someone starts the conversation and you run dry - again, dont sweat it. If the conversation on your end runs dry, change the subject matter. Conversations for the most part always shift directions. If that dont help and you say something stupid ( I have been there, lots of times) just remember - THEY also at times say the stupidest things.
Sadly some people never realize they say something stupid in a conversation.., so.., that puts you ahead of the game. When we realize we have flaws - FAR OUT! YOU'RE HUMAN! And that ain't bad.
We all make mistakes. Some seem to make less or perhaps non, but they make mistakes at any rate (even if they wont admit it).
If you feel like talking but dont have anything to talk about - just start on the first thing that crosses your mind. If you run dry, cant keep it going. Its usually time to mosey along anyway. Excuse yourself and say "see ya".
See? No big deal. When I was younger I used to be like you - always nervous I'd say or do the wrong thing. Hind sight after years of observation - everyone screws up. Frequency means squat.
So dont worry about sounding stupid. You are not stupid - you know that. And thats good enough. =o}
The artistic types are often quiet or at least not overtly conversive. We have a kinship. You should hear me say something stupid. I do it BIG! Is that cool or what!
2006-11-01 15:13:27 · answer #1 · answered by Victor ious 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OK. Here you go. First off, are you on any medications and if so, how long have you been on them? It could be a side effect of the medications that is causing you to get your thoughts all jumbled up. If you have only been on them a short time then just give them time to start working and for the side effects to subside. If you have been on them a while and you are still having these problems, then you need to talk to your Doctor about it. Dealing with the brain is a crap shoot and they have to keep trying different combinations of drugs until they find the right ones for you.
Next idea, go out and do some volunteer work. You can volunteer at a school or an assisted living facility or the dog pound. Any where you want and that will give you some better things to talk about. Help out at a school for handicapped people or something. Find something you enjoy and just do it. You will be more fulfilled and will have lots more fun.
Good Luck and just get out there. Enjoy life.
2006-11-01 23:13:03 · answer #2 · answered by nana4dakids 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have similar problems. I mumble and such, repeat phrases, can't talk well to people I don't know. You don't seem empty at all, you have plenty of details in those statements. If you can ask a bunch of strangers online for help, you're not as bad as you think you are. Find people you have things in common with, or start talking to people online. It's a lot easier to say things online because you don't have to see a person's facial expressions. Don't get intimidated by anyone. Start learning new things if you feel you have nothing to talk about. Just because you're quiet it doesn't mean you're dull. And an uninventful non productive life doesn't last long. Things change as you get older and figure out who you are and what you want out of life. Start asking people about themselves, and they'll open up to you, then it will be easier to do the same. Once you get to know someone they're a lot easier to talk to.
2006-11-01 23:13:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Listen alot and ask questions. don't get so psyched out about not talking too much. You could find other ways to enlighten people and be interesting. I was that way for along time as well but got more confident and had more to say with age and life experience. Freedom of speech is the right not to speak also. Just relax and don't get all worked up about it
2006-11-01 23:45:32 · answer #4 · answered by mannymota 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you could talk about them, ask them where they're going, how theyre doind, and just keep asking followup questions. the weather is something everyone would be familiar with or take to local sports teams. since youre good at writing i hope you keep a journal or something to express with (music is good to make too). get out and explore. climb trees, dig like youre a kid. these are good pure fun experiences. be curious youll learn and experience a lot. a treatment option they have for depression is to lessen how much sleep you get, maybe worth a try. also just simply by smiling more is found to make people happier, a kind of biofeedback that your body tells your brain that youre happy. i hope any of this helps you.
2006-11-01 23:06:40 · answer #5 · answered by memotonemo2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me I get the same way sometimes, I mispronounce words, say the wrong noun, or forget the word completely.
Get a pet, they will want and give love.
I wish I could recommend a good book, but I'm into variety puzzles.
Cheer up we all get down sometimes.
2006-11-01 23:12:09 · answer #6 · answered by Myra G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly i used to be a really really shy person for the same reason i thought i was boring, but then my mom told me to be interested in them. Ever since then i have been super outgoing.. ask them what they like to do how it intrigues them.. where they grew up.. do they like sports.. etc. I think you get the point
2006-11-01 23:06:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with brittany f. Keep it light. Most people just want to talk about themselves anyway. Just act real impressed with their line of bull, and they will love you.
2006-11-01 23:10:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be hey wats up and just like be like soo hows life and like idk but ya hey r u good at mythology i need help with it
2006-11-01 23:06:29 · answer #9 · answered by brittany f 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋