my wife steals money from my wallet. What should I do?

Question

We have a joint account. My wife has equal access to money as I have. Whenever I cash my check, I give her $100. Both my wife and I charge everything over $25.00

She always steals money from my wallet. She never tells me when she takes money and she always denies when I ask her.
When have $100.00 in my wallet, she would take upto $30.00, if I have $50.00, she could take upto $20.00. She has never stolen 100%

What do you think I should do?

Answer 1

It needs thorough investigation w.r.t.:
1. Why she is doing it
2. Is she always short of money
3. If she does not require more money than the agreed between you two, what for she requires
4. Is there any other outlet where she is spending
5. Is she saving for emergencies
6. Is she cheating you and feeding someone else.

Some of these questions need to be answered or solutions must be had by you.
Since she denies the act that means she does not want to tell you and she is hiding some part of her life from you. This makes it more serious.

Try to find it out. Good luck (Sooner the better)

Answer 2

Obviously talking about it hasn't worked, so you need to have a plan or plan to fail. Talk to her about it one more time without tipping your hand as to what comes next. If she won't admit it and still does the same thing then...

Stop carrying money in your wallet. There are other sort of sneaky ways to carry the $ (some belt pouches are out there, etc.) that she won't have immediate access to.

Sounds cruel but I don't know of another way to slow her down. Thing is, you need to be able to trust her with financial stuff including your wallet, and the fact that she denies taking the $$ is just plain wrong. [ True or false, it would bother you less if she admitted it? ]

You may even have to have a solo checking account to make sure that you have $$ to pay bills, and use an auto transfer to put the main finances in your joint account. That way you can build up a bit of a nest egg without her spending it out from under you.

Good luck with a difficult situation.

Answer 3

You need to find out why she feels she has to take it (not steal, she's your wife and it's her money too) without telling you. Is she afraid you won't give it to her if she asks? Is this a recent thing or has it been happening your entire marriage? Maybe she is saving up for Christmas. Just talk to her. Don't accuse. Let her know that if she needs the money you would never deny her. Don't make a big deal out of it. When you get married the money isn't just yours anymore. It's both of yours.

Answer 4

You should talk to her about it and tell her that she has no reason to lie about it if she took money out of your wallet. Tell her that you dont have a problem with her taking the money the problem is that she has to lie about it and sooner or later that will start a serious trust issue between the two of you. She should just tell you she took money out of your pocket and what she neede it for and case closed. Maybe she has some sort of problem and know that you wouldnt approve of what she is using the money for so you should just hide your wallet from her (I dont think that you should have to this) but this is something that you need to look into. I hope she doesnt have a drug or gambling problem that she is covering up/ Good luck I hope everything turns out good

Answer 5

This is happening to me and none of the points in the BEST answer apply to us. My money is her money, and she can have as much as she wants with no questions asked. She's nearly a millionaire, earns $150k, has $1000s in cash and an unlimited credit card, but she hides her own cash and takes some of mine secretly. Just petty amounts of a few 100 dollars. She must feel some kind of insecurity, but I realy don't know. She isn't cheating and isn't spending the money she takes. She's hoarding it.

Answer 6

When you get paid, put your money somewhere else. Don't hand her the $100.00 but, when she ask you about it, tell her it is in my wallet, where you get all your money. Tell her , maybe you won't feel like you are stealing it this way. LOL Maybe it will get her attention and she may quit. Also, tell her, if she does not stay out of your wallet, she better hide her purse. Good luck

Answer 7

Is there a possibility that someone else could be taking it? Otherwise, I'd hide my money where she can't find it and see what happens. If she asks you where your money is, then you'll know she looks in your wallet at least.

Answer 8

You should be able to talk to her about this. Ask her what it is that she is needing the cash for. Does she think that if she asks for it you will not give it to her? If she has access to the account, it really makes no sense to me why she is doing it. You should probably get to the bottom of it. Until you do, maybe you should store your wallet in a more private place or quit leaving cash in it for her to take. If it isn't there, she cannot take it. Good luck!

Answer 9

I would talk to her about this but don't accuse her of staeling she may only see it as her right to do this. Share and share alike. Have you told her this bothers you?
Otherwise I probably wouldn't leave my wallet out or I wouldn't keep only a few dollars in it or use a debit card.
So does she charge up your credit cards?
I think this can be worked out through communication.

Answer 10

I'm not understanding the reason she is doing this. Is the bank account empty and she needs to buy food to feed the family? I have no idea why someone would do that! I get money out of my husband's wallet and he gets money out of mine on occasion but to run get coffee or something. No big deal. What is she doing with the money? Is she buying something she can't with a credit card? Is it something she doesn't want to be traceable? I don't understand. That's a tough one!