Falling for a married man...HELP!?

Question

There is a friend of mine from work that i have become close with. We are getting to know each other, and we can talk about anything to each other. the problem is - HEs married with kids. He talks to me about problems that he has, and i dont think hes happy in his marriage. He wont leave because of the kids though. There is a strong sexual attaction between the two of us, and its hard to resist, even though i know its wrong. What do I do to keep out relationship friendly

Answer 1

You STOP now....he has crossed the line by revealing anything to do with his marriage.

Secondly, he may be a predator, the tactic of playing on the emotional "mothering" instinct of a female is a classic move to get some on the side.

If you decide to continue this relationship you are becoming the "other woman" and a home wrecker. Cheating is a choice, you making the choice to enable his cheating is just as bad.

What he has told you is he isn't leaving, but he will have sex with you. Lust is different than love....and he doesn't love you enough to get a divorce.

Answer 2

If he's told you that he won't leave then you already know that if you give in to the physical attraction it's just about the sex for him. Don't expect to develop a lasting relationship with this man in the future. Keep in mind that some day you will be married and then you'll know that a marriage takes hard work from both people on a daily basis. Would you want your husband to be friends with someone like you? Think Karma. Think Responsibly. Think like an adult.

Answer 3

You state that he is married with kids, and you know it's wrong, so make the right choice.

First, stop talking to him about his problems. Next time he brings it up, suggest he go home and talk to his wife about it. Maybe the problems they have are partly due to his lack of communication with his wife, as he is seeking you to be his sounding board.

Second, if you have an attraction to this man "that is hard to resist". Then, you need to distance yourself from him. The last thing you want to do is selfishly ruin a marriage and a family over an urge that you should have been able to control - after all he is a married man.

Answer 4

If you mess with him then you are a home wrecker. He has children. Think about what you would be doing to them. This happened to me and now I have a 10 year old that is in trouble all of the time and has problems in school because his father abandoned us. He will never get over this. He hurts so much and there is nothing I can do about it. I can't give him his father back. Is your horniness more important than a child's well being? Obviously the woman that broke up my marriage could care less about what this did to my children. Same with their father. I even begged this woman to leave my husband alone because of my son. I was also pregnant with our daughter at the time. Please, don't ruin a child's life out of pure selfishness. Don't be like this woman that destroyed my family. My children did not deserve it. Be a better woman. Take care.

Answer 5

Hon - the best advice I can give you is to save yourself the pain. He is married WITH KIDS, so chances are he is NEVER going to leave her. Spare yourself the pain of becoming even more involved with this man on a physical level which will only make you more emotionally attached to him than you already are. Those few stolen times of sexual pleasure will haunt you forever as something you could not have and make you feel like something was wrong with you that you were not good enough for him to walk away and be with you - tell this man all you can offer is friendship and if he forces the issue or things get too hot, then you need to cut off contact with him to keep yourself from getting hurt. Good luck sweetie - the best cure is a single man who treats you right and loves you madly

Answer 6

Start "distancing" yourself from him a little. Listen to him sometimes, but don't allow him to continuously run his marriage in the ground. Ask him has he thought about marriage counseling. On the other side, some men ( and women) talks about how bad their marriage is and appear unhappy to see how far they can go with someone that are attracted to. To keep the relationship friendly, just think & say this to yourself "this man is married with kids, having all kinds of issues and if I get with him, his issues can possibly become my issues" (do you need the extra stress). Also say to yourself "he has indicated that he will not leave his household because of his children which means that I would not have the type of relationship I want with him or he can't do the things I would like to do because of his wife and kids". Think about these things and I hope you make the right decision.

Answer 7

First of all you need to acknowledge to each other what you are feeling and confees that it is wrong and discuss what you can do about it. Second, try to only be around him when others are present, and if possible convince him to try counseling with his wife. I know it is difficult and I am sure that you truly care for him. However you need to consider this: Is a man who would cheat on his FAMILY a man that would ultimately be faithful to YOU??? The answer will always be no. A person like that has poor impulse control and will always move on to bigger and better (in their mind) things.
Also do you want to be partly responsible for breaking up a family? If his confessing his issues at home to you is part of the problem then put a stop to it. He is not the only one being affected here, his children are too. Try to keep them in mind when you aer trying to deal with this. I know it is difficult, but please be strong. I have suffered the same fate as this gentleman's wife, so I know what it is like to be on the recieving end of an unfaithful husband whom eventually leaves you with the children.

Answer 8

Don't be stupid and fall flat on your face! Think of all the pain this would cause.He has a wife and children , and you have no right to cross that line and be a part of what could shatter that family. He is not up for grabs, find yourself a single man and forget this guy. You'll be glad one day that you stopped an awful tragedy.

Answer 9

Please don't get involved with a married man. You are setting yourself up for heart break. You all ready know he has children, and a wife he won't leave. Why even go there? When he tries to talk to you about marital problems; just tell him you have no experience with marriage, and can't give him advice. Tell him you respect his marriage and family even if he doesn't right now. Tell him you have a date Friday night. Do whatever you have to do to discourage him. Move on - and don't look back. You'll be glad you did.

Answer 10

What I can't understand is someone as low as you who think you have found someone special who's married and he's going through rough patches with is wife and you think you can step in and be a ho for him because he's going through some stuff. HOOO, you need to stay away from this married man sooner or later he's going to work this problem out with his wife. I think your there trying to support him so that he can have someone to fall back on. I'll tell you what, leave him alone. Beech!!!