Can I have help with a Thesis statement?

Question

I need help with the statement below, can this be a Thesis statement?

The American system could use techniques and programs from the Japanese to improve the American educational system.

Answer 1

Ok, for your thesis, all you need to do is come up with 3 techniques/programs that you think the American educational system could use.
Thesis:
By utilizing techniques from the Japanese educational system, specifically _____________, ___________, and __________, the American educational system could improve.

I'm not sure about what techniques or programs that the Japanese currently use that America could adopt, but I'm assuming 1 of your 3 points could be that they spend more hours in the classroom than we do?? Anyway you should research and find out. Good luck.

Answer 2

The American education system, using techniques and programs from the Japanese system, could improve.

Answer 3

Several suggestions, first this statement seems to passive and open ended, if your writing style can work with that then fine but you might want to use stronger diction. Secondly this is hardly specific enough and as the japanese education system is largely adopted from other sources and continues to 'westernize' -not to downplay its orginality etc- perhapes you should qualify your statement. Thirdly while your statement is largely straight forward it leaves many blanks which could easily be filled with slight syntax alteration instead of costly explanation in the rest of your work.

Answer 4

That's a good thesis statement, leave it like that. Now you need 3 Topics and at least 2 subtopics for each of the main topics to prove your point. We've been going over this for the past couple of weeks in my english class (for the SAT). But anyways, good luck with your essay.

Answer 5

You ought to be extra targeted, placed your principal paragraph subjects to your thesis assertion. For illustration Mass creation, expand of populace, development of technological know-how, little one exertions, expand of tuberculoses, and air pollution are the optimistic and unwanted effects of the Industrial Revolution. No, you don’t decide upon a aspect. Try to not be bias simply write approximately the terrible and optimistic results. In your paragraphs, you matter sentence will have to be anything like this, of path it is dependent what you picked as your results. Mass creation is a optimistic end result of the Industrial Revolution seeing that (say why it used to be a optimistic end result). After your matter sentence, end up your matter sentence with proof from resources comparable to your publication or an editorial on the web. What ever you employ, cite your resources.

Answer 6

Yes it could be, but make sure to state at least three arguments in there and then elaborate on them in your essay. =)