How does a 19 year old high school senior successfully move out of a controlling household after graduation?

Question

if my bf's mom found out he was going to move away to a whole different state, she flipped, whats the easiest thing to do? Do a "run-away" move out?

his mom is trying to force him to go to a college where he lives and Im sure she'll enroll him and everything on her own...then what?

Answer 1

With firmness and tact.

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Answer 2

If he is planning on being financially independent from her he can do what he wants. Yet, does want to keep a relationship with her? If yes, then he should sit her down (like a man..he is one at 19) and tell her his plans. He is old enough to make this decision without her permission.

However, if things go bad, will the estrangement hurt him? If his mom is that controlling she may get very angry and lash out. Maybe telling him to never come back, etc. I'm sure he is prepared for anything, but he is human and she could really hurt him. So, he must stay calm regardless of how she acts.

As a man, he will now make decisions for himself and what's best for him. But also as a man, he will want to consider others in his decisions as well. Unfortunately, a controlling mom can make it very difficult for him to do this. Nonetheless, he must.

So, I recommend he be kind, and gentle, in his approach to moving. Talk so she can understand his decision. If she refuses, he needs to be man enough to say he's sorry to disappoint her, but he must do this and then do it.

Hopefully she will be reasonable. If not, then pack when she's gone, and move, perhaps leaving a note saying that he wished it hadn't come to this and maybe down the road things will be better for all of them.

This won't be easy, but he can do it. It's part of growing up. And how he handles this will set the standard for how he handles other tough situations.

Answer 3

Well what are the circumstances? If his parents are providing a college education for him but only to the schools they choose, then he will have to take that into consideration. If he doesn't want their support financially, then he can go to a school of choice and pay for college through government grants and loans. If college is not an issue...and he just wants to move out, then, he is over 18 and there is nothing stopping him! It is his life and he is now old enough to make his own decisions when it comes to his future. If that means moving to another state, there is nothing that his parents can do about it.

Answer 4

In my opinion, I would wait until graduation. Technically, they are both of age and not doing anything wrong but if they go out on a dinner date, movies, etc it's a possibility another teacher could see them, another student, or the principal and they could say something which will most likely lead to discipline towards the teacher! If she really wants a relationship with this guy she should just wait. That's what I would do. Hope I helped!

Answer 5

Ask your mom about collage first where are some options if you have not completed at least a four year degree in a good collage you can count on working in some dead end job that pays minimal wage, talk to her about schools in other states or at
least far enough away she will be out of your hair for a few years, think about the military as a option after all it is good training and good pay not to mention rent free and free food while in training.

Answer 6

Have a job that will pay the bills. Be responsible about them! Don't go crazy getting credit cards and going to 'Buy here, pay here' places. Moving out of state at his age will be difficult. Most apartments want you to have a steady job for at least a year. If he moves, unless he has a job that will transfer...he may have a hard time finding a place to live.

He's got to show his parents he's ready, if he ever expects them to have this faith in him. He shouldn't wait until graduation either...he should start showing how responsible he can be right now, and it wouldn't be a bad idea to drop some hints like, "After graduation, when I get my own place...."

Answer 7

1. get a job
2. find a place to live, even if it's temporary like your friend's basement
3. get a few boxes and backpacks and have your buds help you move
4. don't forget that your parents probably care for you a lot, so just sit him/her/them down and say that this is something you gotta do now that you are 19. You have to try this even if you know it's going to be difficult, and you want your parents to respect your desire to go your own way. Basically, this is to make sure you don't burn your bridges.
5. Now move. You will enjoy the freedom, and you wiill also realize how hard it is to cope with all the demands of life such as paying for rent and food.

Answer 8

If you think you are mature enough then walk out, find a job and join the hardship and bill paying society.

Be a laborer the rest of your life since you dropped from being educated for the higher paying jobs, that only college will get you.

Remember dough, that the bed you make you need sleep in till death.

Make sure that the control is against you and not because they care for your best interest. ((My mom used to tell me)) "He whom takes no advice will cease to survive"
Do not let peer pressure ruin your life.
Best friends will come and go in the life time of us all, but none will set your goals.
I ALWAYS BRING FLOWERS TO MOMS AND DADS GRAVE, AND FOR EVER THANK THEM FOR BEING TOUGH WITH ME. For now dough late, I know they truly loved me.

Answer 9

If you are 19 years old, you aren't running away if you move out. You are an adult now which means you can legally choose to live where you want.

Keep in mind, though, that living on your own means being 100 percent responsible for all your expenses. It means paying the water bill, electric bill, phone bill, grocery bill, rent bill, etc etc etc.....and paying them on time.

You don't have to leave on bad terms. You can just tell your parents you have decided to move out........but don't expect them to help you financially. When you are on your own, you are on your own.

Good luck to you! If you can handle the financial aspect of being on your own, I think you will enjoy the freedom that comes with it.

Answer 10

He's 19, not 9.... His mother will realise that her baby boy is growing up, and he needs to spread his wings. This is the twenty-somethingth century, just tell him to build up the courage to let go of her apron strings, back his stuff, and move out. Its just another step into adulthood, Don't let anything hold him back, or before you know it, he'll be like thirty, and still living at home.

Answer 11

Children "run away", adults move out. He has to tell his parents that he's leaving and where they can contact him. This is not a bridge you want to burn. Everyone deserves a chance to make it on their terms, but we also need help every now and again. Parents don't always agree and usually won't support you financially if they don't, but they are still your family.