My ex-husband is veberal & metally abusing our children when he call them he doesn't but grill's them about what we done & etc, he's got them so scared of him & his girlfriend that there afraid to talk to anyone he know what type of question to ask & just isn't acting like the caring father that he should be there so much hate in him & our kids are starting to bottle things up they won't even talk to me anymore, they are starting to hate there father. He has let his girlfriend control everything in his life, she has totally convience him I'm the problem & the kids would be off with them, their not married, they live with his parents, & she has drove a wedge between there father & me, i see how much hurt out kids are in right now I don't know what to do, I need a very good lawyer one that know how to play with these people & is a hard *** in the process, who can put this girlfriend in her place, I have tried everything to get alone with this girl but she is a very controling & a liar.
2006-11-01 13:56:29 · 9 answers · asked by mssassy0104 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is no attorney that can put your ex's girlfriend in her place. It just doesn't work that way.
What you need to focus on is the conversations that your ex is having with your kids. You need to monitor those conversations to ensure that he is not saying anything that is hurtful. My suggestion would be to invest in a speaker phone. Before the kids get to talk to him, tell him that he will be on the speaker phone and you will be listening. Tell him that if you hear something inappropriate, you will end the conversation.
Try not to engage his girlfriend. Keep all conversations with him short and to the point. Most of all, do what's best for the kids.
2006-11-01 14:01:34 · answer #1 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The one thing about a liar is they always have to keep lying to cover up the last lie they told... the reason your ex is so stressed out and being verbally and mentally abusive is because that's what his relationship with his girlfriend is like(girlfriends are usually jealous of the former wife)... and they are living with his parents....that's got to hurt his male ego --- so he takes it out on the kids (naturally the girlfriend adds her two cents worth).
The wedge is between there because he is in such a messed up relationship and he lives with his "mommy and daddy" and no doubt he's paying child support so his funds are probably pretty tight also.
Try to take the position as the stable, loving parent for the kids --- get in some family counselling - don't let the kids keep this bottled up - they need help!
As for your ex, he's responsible for his own actions... his loyalty tends to be with the woman he's in a relationship with....and this situation reflects that trait. Don't waste your time arguing with these people --- it's your ex who has to get his priorities straight - at this time he's in survival mode and that situation won't be changing until he and his girlfriend are in their own place and the cash flow is sufficient. In the mean time you do the right thing - make sure the kids(and you) get counselling and when his girlfriend tries to push your buttons - leave or hang up the phone!
A lawyer won't do anything with the girlfriend because she's acting like a jerk... so don't waste your money. I had to deal with my ex and his girlfriend - I wouldn't play their games! When she got mouthy with me --- I would get in my car and leave or hang up the phone... I wouldn't stand there and listen to that ... because there's no reason too!
2006-11-01 22:40:27 · answer #2 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dear, you will never be able to convince this woman to be your friend. You have to resolve the issue with him (the father). You need to be sure that the children are acting this way bcs the father and girlfriend's influence. Also, children from divorce/separate parents have a wrong sense of loyalty to each one of the parent. I recommend to see a child psicology expert or a family counselor to help you open your kids to you, and find out what's going on their mind. Maybe, since you can't change the relationship with the girlfriend, you can change their way to relate to you and them. Help them understand that you are open to any relationship they wish to have with the father & girlfriend, and overall, don't allow the abuse from either one. You can limit his contact with the kids, and let him know that you will keep them away from him until he shows an improvement on his relationship and stop his abuse.
2006-11-01 22:12:33 · answer #3 · answered by Woman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The kids need to go to a professional counselor and maybe all of you can go to. Work out the problems everyone is having. I know it is hard my exs girlfriend is a real big (you know what) but it is important to my daughter that everyone gets along.
Remember kids are sensitive to their parent feelings. Please get them some help so they can vent otherwise it will hurt them in the long run. Good luck.
2006-11-01 22:03:53 · answer #4 · answered by betty_htch 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your ex and his g/f are making you and your children's lives miserable because they don't want you to be happy. talk to your counciller/lawyer and have him/her put a restraining order on him/her, give all the details to their actions towards you and your children. record the time /dates/phones calls/ verbal warnings from them.
tell your children never to go anywhere with him without your permission.
2006-11-01 22:13:39 · answer #5 · answered by ~muffun~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should file a case against them after consulting your lawyer
2006-11-05 16:07:51 · answer #6 · answered by soofi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
catch her out an kick her a.ss good...... first try to talk to him tell him these are our kids an we need to get along for the kids she isn't anything to our kids,than beat her as.s
2006-11-01 22:02:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
take ur kids to counsilin, and do not let him get to u...if necessary put a restriction order
2006-11-01 22:02:05 · answer #8 · answered by Darksied 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MAYBE YOU COULD ASK HIM ALONE IF HE WOULD SEE A COUNCILLOR AS A FAMILY AND IF IT GOES WELL THEN HIS GIRLFRIEND COULD SLOWLY BE WEANED INTO THE SESSIONS!
GOOD LUCK!!!!
2006-11-01 21:59:41 · answer #9 · answered by xsplodeit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋