cheated. my husband away for almost a year. i went out w/ an old friend/lover whom I had been?

Question

exchanging emails & instant messages for months. finally, he calls me up & sends me SMS and asking if we could meet up because he wants to see me. first we had coffee then the second time we got together I remember him saying that he was nervous. I jokingly said, it's because you got other things on your mind. Then,I got really drunk after the first bottle of strawberry flavored vodka Ice that tasted so good. The effect of liquor kicked in only after the half of the second bottle. Felt sleepy. I got low tolerance level for alcohol. He drew me close and hugged me. It felt so right. But then he started kissing me but I resisted and told him no. He would pause & still holding me in his arms, he would continue kissing me again & one thing led to another. I cant believe how it got that far. This is the first time I cheated on my husband. There is the morality issues & also there is the pleasure that is derived from it. If your partner had been away, do you think you could've cheated too?

I don't have any intentions of ending my marriage but I got sexual needs too. I don't mind if my husband have sex with others as long as he doesn't leave me. I would understand because he had been away far too long because of work. I'm sure he will never forgive me for this indiscretion. Btw, the "other man" is also married and his wife was furious that he wasnt answering her calls and came home at 3 am. Major fight ensued. Right now, I'm just trying to go on with my life and try to forget what happened between us. Its just hard to forget that.

supercrazy--which man are you referring to?

Answer 1

No, and I have been drunk enough and had it offered to me to know this.

Cheating is a choice, you can try to blame the liquour, you can try to justify it however you like. You are the one that exchanged emails, and instant messages for months, you are the one that agreed to meet. You are the one that choose to drink.

This didn't happen over a drink, it was ramping up over months. I assume your husband is in the military do to the time frame you mention.

What a wonderful homecoming gift for him.

Answer 2

My man and I are almost constantly apart.He was stationed in Germany and left here August 5th,2005.We have seen each other for 3 weeks in February 2006 and for 4 weeks in September just now.
Guess what,everybody has "sexual needs",but God gave you hands.
If you' d really and honestly LOVE your husband with all your heart you wouldn't,couldn't cheat on him.Neither could you take the pure thought of his hands touching an other woman.....What you did was wrong and especially so if your hubby is Military and has been deployed.In that case I got a question for you: How do you live with yourself knowing that he could get killed any minute while you're sleeping with someone else???? How can you do that to someone you love?

Answer 3

I'm sorry but I don't care how long my husband was gone from home....I still could not cheat on him for love or money. Wedding vows are wedding vows, only way that I would break one is if I got a divorce first. You getting drunk was no excuse what so ever for what you did. I would not want to be in your shoes when you tell your husband what you did while he was gone. How would you feel if you knew that your husband went to bed with another woman...be hurt right ...well what else can I say..you are the one that is going to have to live with it.......of course it could have been worse...you could have gotten pregnant by this man and then what would you have done..................

Answer 4

To be quite frank, I think you knew all along where it was going with this guy. If your husband has been away for almost one year..... who is he doing? Is he a traveling sales man? Why is he not home? If he is a soldier understandable. Instead of going around with this other guy you need to be honest with yourself on whether you want to still be in the marriage you are in. Having an affair makes things more complicated not easier. If your husband found out it would also cause alot of hurt.

Work on your marriage, or get out of it..... do not cheat.

Answer 5

awwww. its that bottle of bad stuff. i almost cheated. but im not married. but i do believe it still falls into the same place. i didnt do it because i told myself that if my boyfriend of 2 years did that to me.... i would have a cow and be majorly hurt. you should confess. it'll ride your chest hard if you dont. well some people are different. but by coming here on yahoo answers it says ur guilty. but confessing is like the hardest thing ever when you cheat. why was your husband away for almost a year? is he in the military? well it all depends on how long youve been together. and you did tempt yourself. i did that too. but in the end i just told the guy to take a hike. and the lame jerk is still waiting. ive know him since kindergarten lol. so you kno what to do. but no i wouldnt have cheated. if i wouldve been tempted really bad i wouldve called up my boyfriend and broke it off. but nothing is worth that.

Answer 6

You put yourself in the position by even talking with the man, and now you want to justify your actions by saying you wonder if he cheated. Girl get a grip on yourself, either you are married and faithful or you are not. You need to make up your mind. And really could you trust a man who sleeps with a married women another mans wife. He would never trust you either. You need to get hold of yourself and figure out what you want out of life and stop being childish and stupid. This was a very selfish act and you should take responsibility of your actions not blaming the alcohol. You did what you did because you wanted to. Learn to take care of yourself and not put your life and the life of your husband in jeopardy by having affairs with strange men. I hope you used a condom for goodness sakes. This is just not acceptable behavior out of a married women. God bless

Answer 7

Put yourself in your husband's shoes if you found out he slept with someone else because he had a low tolerance for alcohol.
But to answer your question, I don't think I would have cheated on my husband because he was away. There's too much out here now (diseases, women getting pregnant by other men instead of their husband etc.) Be careful what you do to others because what goes around comes back around again. Believe that!

Answer 8

Absence makes the eyes go wander. Unfortunately when a partner is away for a length of time, you forget the feeling of what it is like to be with him.

When you say "away", exactly where away is he?

You cheated, ok, that's not good, but what you do next is up to you. Are you going to continue to do so, then I say you're marriage is over. If it was a one off event, get past it and don't tell your husband. All you will do is make yourself feel better by easing the guilt but you will hurt him and he doesn't need to be hurt.

Answer 9

why u try to justify what u did by sayin u got drunk..u knew good n well what u did was wrong. and u wanted it. so stop usin being drunk as an excuse. and u wasnt too damn drunk to know all the details. and u let it happen. u wanted it to happen. i take it ur man is prolly in the military. and if so that makes it worse.. if he is just away bc u 2 cant work it out..then end it. but dont say this only happend bc u was drunk and it is the only time..bc u may lie to urself to make urself have justification but I dont buy it.

Answer 10

The cleric who framed Rimsha Masih - via planting charred Koran pages in her very own possessions - became in basic terms attempting to punish her for being a Christian. with the aid of fact Muslims take it with none attention that Christians would desire to be punished, from an Islamic perspective Hafiz Chishti has carried out no longer something incorrect. remember that Asia Bibi became sentenced to dying for 'insulting the prophet' 3 years in the past. She has no longer yet been hanged, yet she keeps to be in detention center. earlier her arrest her community village became approximately to burn her themselves (which shows that the subject isn't the Pakistani government - that's Muslims). on the tip of the day, the place there are Muslims - there is injustice. people who will stone a woman for donning lipstick in basic terms don't understand innovations like 'user-friendly' or 'unfair'. end of tale.