(man married 24 yrs leaves family for 21 yr old he has no money does he really love her)......the expanding question is..........he says to anyone willing to listen that he has felt dead for 8 yrs yet this is news to the wife who thought all was ok she had always kept the line of communication open...i mean after 24 yrs married you have your shares of ups and downs but she never thought is was a bad as he is tellin ppl and when they talk now he is very nasty and short like shes the bad one.anyone have any advice......
2006-11-01 12:50:02 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like the mid-life crisis bug had bitten him. Anybody who he is talking too should realize that there is his story/ her story/ and the real story.However remember any that is talking to him will realize he didn't meet this girl after they broke up he met her while he was still with his wife which make him a cheater. Him being nasty and short is the guilt eatting away at him. My advice would be to have as little communication with him as nessacery. Start dating other people. Remember the best revenge it to find happiness without him.
2006-11-01 19:31:03 · answer #1 · answered by wondermom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not making excuses for your husband, but there's a dark secret in this country - and that's the expectations placed on men.
Most men make a huge show of proving how together and macho and strong they are, and most of the time it's a gigantic lie. They get married to the wrong woman for the wrong reasons at the wrong time because his parents, his friends, her friends, etc etc all expect him to have reached a certain point by a certain age - "Oh, hey, you're 25 and you're not seeing someone? Are you gay? Do you have a Peter Pan complex?" Or even worse, "Oh, hey you're 33 and you're not married? Are you gay? Do you have a Peter Pan complex?"
Very few men can resist that kind of pressure, so they do what other people are doing, or tell them to do and they go along for a very long time until one day they start to sense their own mortality. They reach a point one day when it occurs to them that they are actually going to die one day, and they just can't go along any more.
Now, it would have been nice if he had a pair in the first place and told everyone to f*ck off, but very few men do. So they reach 40 or 45 and decide they're going to live their life the way they always wanted to, which (unfortunately) means taking up with a 25 year old (because in the guy's mind he's still 25 years old too).
As for the anger, it has nothing to do with you. Once again, he's incapable of being honest with himself and directing his anger where it belongs - at himself. Instead of admitting he made a mistake and all of his friends are manipulative jerks, he finds an easy and convenient target in you. He needs to start taking responsibility for his own actions and admitting that, yes I made a mistake and while I now want to live my life a different way than I caved in to 25 years ago, I will be enough of a man not to be a total prick about it.
Good luck.
PS, You're better off without him.
2006-11-01 13:05:32 · answer #2 · answered by wineboy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough question, because I have never done that to a lady or my family.
I have always been a provider for my family. I may not have been a good husband or father, but I never let my family go hungry or without clothes.
There was times when I worked three jobs to prevent the family from going hungry or without a roof on our heads.
I know every person does not feel the same as I do, but at least I supported them, even though I did other things by never being at home when I should have.
2006-11-01 12:55:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on with your life,my wife fell in love with some 25 yr old(she's 48) after 30 yrs, didn't have the guts to leave me and because of finanical situtions we still live together. You have the chance to move on, DO IT, Now you can find out who you really are. You are still young and despiste this set back you have a whole life ahead of you. Like Nike says "Do it"
2006-11-01 13:29:56 · answer #4 · answered by Rodney 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is going through the change of life. Mid-Life Crisis. He leaves his family of 24 years, for a 21 yr old? And youuuu are the bad guy??? hahahaha.... gosh do not worry what he says about you.... the more he plays around with this lil girl, and tries to bad mouth you, he is just making himself look not only bad but nasty and immature. You just focus on what you need out of life and what will make you happy. As long as you are polite and kind to others, ppl will see what really is going on and who is to blame. I would not bad mouth him to others, but if asked what is going on, just let them know you are not sure what is going on in his mind, and leave it at that.
The woman really should just let it go. It really is obvious her husband is going through a mid life crisis, and she is not a mind reader, so she is not to blame for him hiding this kind of thing from her. It seems more to me that he is dissatisfied with himself and therefore cannot be satisified with anyone. Now would be a great time (even though I know she must really be hurting) to focus on things she has always wanted to do in her life, to fullfill her own dreams and to rediscover who she is, and to not let that idiot husband of hers make her feel less then.
2006-11-01 13:11:18 · answer #5 · answered by Sundar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is possible for someones head to turn in a relationship and if this girl turned his head he could of used the excuse of i was never happy a a chicken way out of just saying i no longer want to be toghether. instead he tried to twist it and blame it on her. it was a man taking an easy way out.she is better off with out him.seeing the disrepect he had for her after so many years together he didn't even give her the common decney of the truth.it wasn't that bad he is just rying to jsutify his actions for messin with a girl half his age and being a coward.
2006-11-01 13:07:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
His true colors were shown when he left for another person.Had he been unhappy for that length of time he should have moved on long ago ,maybe then his pathetic excuses would have worked. The best revenge is to move on and be happy
2006-11-01 13:30:28 · answer #7 · answered by jeannel794 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one wants to be the bad guy or the cause of the dissolution.
We're a society of people who blame others for our own faults and shortcomings.
2006-11-01 12:56:54 · answer #8 · answered by mrpeabody 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is not intrested in you anymore he is going thriough a mid life crisis
2006-11-01 13:22:22 · answer #9 · answered by Shanana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋