What can I do?

Question

Well, I'm pregnant...officially! I haven't told my mom yet but we were talking about it and she knows I'm kind of sexually active with my boyfriend and she told me if I get pregnant we are definitely getting an abortion. I argued but she still told me it wasn't my choice. I don't want the baby because I had protected sex and I didn't expect for one but I rather have it than kill it..what should I do? Should I just listen to my mom because I'm not 18 yet and she's still responsible for me and I can't raise a baby on my own - my mom probably won't help since she didn't want it in the first place AND my boyfriend is in ephin jail...yeah, it's all really complicated I really don't know what to do..I appreciate all the answerrrs. =]

Answer 1

Having a baby is an extremely difficult life experience. I don't mean carrying or giving birth to him/her. That is the easy part. A child should come into this world having a safe, loving and comfortable existence. Could you imagine this little fragile creature coming to this world with no parents, an undecided future and lacking the support of the two people whom we all believe should love us the most - our blood parents. Even if a child finds a loving home, the emotional trauma still exists to varying degrees. There is always that fagile part of an individuals personality that would question why they were not important enough to be loved by the people who created them as if they are somewhat less than the rest of the world. I'm not trying to trivialize or simplify an adopted child's life. I'm trying to say that you are creating a little person who has emotional issues to deal with even before it is born. It is hard enough surviving in such a complicated stressful world under the most ideal circumstances so why give birth to a child who is already at a disadvantage.
Having a child that you can not ensure a positive future for is a mistake for the mother and the child. Under the most ideal of circumstances, having and parenting a child is very difficult to say the least.
If you decided to have the child, could you live with the choice to give him/her away? If the thought of parting with your creation seems to painful than consider the life you and your child would be leading. Who would raise your child when you went to school/work? If you could not have a trusted family member help, than you would be asking a stranger to look after your defenceless , helpless child. Could you be sure that they recieved the upbringing that was similar to your morals and beliefs? How would you feel if after a period of time, you discover that your child had been neglected in terms of time and attention knowing that her self-esteem and development are being negatively affected? What if the care was worse than that and now your child is showing physical and psychological trauma? Will you be able to provide food, shelter and clothing for your baby if you recieve no support at all for the father or your family? What would the psychological effects be on you and how would that impact the child?
I'm a mother of 2 who has it all. I have a husband who provides, a beautiful home, family support and love to spare. Under these circumstances, there are still problems. Having a child means no time for yourself, very little time for your husband, the constant worry of 'is my child happy', your interests and desires being pushed aside and the stress of sickness or regular parenting responsibilities.
I may sound heartless but I am speaking from the most loving part of my heart when I say "don't have a child at all" and have an abortion. I absolutely love children and it breaks my heart every time I see a child suffer because the mother or father were not prepared financially or mentally for the challenge of parenting. Try to think logically and not romantically or with dellusions of "it'll be okay" when the evidence speaks otherwise. Do the right thing.

Answer 2

First of all I don't believe in abortions and I would never choose that and if I had a daughter I would never EVER tell her that. Secondly, your mother can not make you have an abortion no matter how old you are. It is your body not hers. So therefore she can't literally make you have one. She can tell you that she wants you to have one but that's about it. Look if you want to have the baby then do it. You'll figure out a way to manage. And then if you don't want the baby then you could always give the baby up for adoption. ( I bet if you tell your mom she will probably be shocked and want you to get an abortion at first. But if you tell her that you don't want to have one then she may change her mind also. You may just have to give her some time to get use to the idea of her little baby having a baby. Most likely in the long run she will end up helping and supporting you. Just give her some time. Everything will work out.)

Answer 3

You have to follow your heart. You are a very mature person to recognize that you cannot fully care for this baby. It is YOUR choice how to handle your body. If you want to have the baby and give it up for adoption ( a VERY noble and admirable thing to do ) then don't tell your mom for a couple of months. It'll be too late for you to have an abortion at all. If you do want to have an abortion, then own the decision and do it only if you know it's the right thing for everyone involved. But think long and hard about it. What does your heart tell you?

Answer 4

Well you do have to tell your mother but even though you are under 18 she can't force you to have an abortion. If you don't want to have an abortion and don't want the baby talk to her about putting it up for adoption there are many good couples out there that can't get pregnant and want more than anything to have a child. I also suggest calling a pregnancy crisis help line they may be able to help you with the subject even more. They usally can be found in the yellopw pages under Abortion alternatives.

Good Luck and best wishes

Answer 5

see if she will let you have the baby and give it up for an adoption i had a abortion once but it was because my baby had problems and would of died in the womb and i still to this day regret it and wonder what if i would of took a chance to see and i will never abort again. The way i see if i dont want a child i shouldnt be haveing sex in the first place and if im old enough to make the decision then im old enough to take care of what my actions have given me but your underage so you have to do what your mom says but u can see if adoption is a choice she will let you make if you are interested. best of luck to you.

Answer 6

Hum that is a tough on, if your mom knew you were sexually active why didn't she get you on birth control so this didn't happen, don't get an abortion though, you can always give it up for adoption, your mom might come around and help with the whole pregnancy part of this situation...good luck...I can tell you from experience it it not easy...

Answer 7

I was 16 when i got pregnant, and no it was not easy to have a baby but i did it and i think you should to. you mom has no say so it what is inside your body. i personally do not believe in abortions. but i know it will be hard and their will have to be alot of changes but with a little help everything will be all right. i got pregnant still finished school and am now in college and yes it was very hard but i put my mind to doing something and i finished it. if i can do it anyone can.
good luck! Hope your mom comes to her senses.

Answer 8

The best way to spurt your hair growth is to completely cut out heat. No straightening, curling, or even blow drying. It makes your hair weak and will grow slower and look more unhealthy. Never brush wet hair, only use a wide-toothed comb or your fingers to get out tangles. The rate of growth really just depends on genetics. While I was straightening my hair, it only grew about half an inch in 6 months, but now that I've completely cut it out, it's grown about 4 inches in a year, so it does make a difference. Just avoid anything that would stress out your hair and get trims every 4-5 months to keep your ends healthy.

Answer 9

I answered a similar question like this earlier, there are so many options. If you arent 18 yet, note the laws in your state for asking/receiving an abortion. Adoption is another, keeping the baby and raising it is yet another. There are FREE programs for needy unwed young mothers, FREE health insurance, free food and affordable housing if you mother kicks you out. Ask for help, there are people who want to help, I have been there....I got alot of much appreciated help, so in turn I offer free babysitting, free transportation on my days off to anyone who asks. IM me if you need numbers and places in your area

Answer 10

Adoption, if you will not be able to take care of him/her, u have the oppurtunity to give it to a family that can't have children who will be able to take care of him/her. Abortion shouldn't even be the answer. Your mom should be a little smarter THAT'S MURDER!!!!!! I CAN NOT BELIEVE SHE WOULD MAKE YOU EVEN THINK OF DOING THAT. ASK HER IF YOU CAN GO AND KILL SOME RANDOM BABY... SHE WOULD PROBABLY SAY NO.. BUT YET SHE EXPECTS FOR YOU TO DO THAT TO YOUR OWN FLESH AND BLOOD.It's your body. Don't harm it by having an abortion. Please......... give it up for ADOPTION