there's this girl in my family who bullies me. i worry about her and the negative things she tells me because she's really pretty and gets a lot of attention from the family and I feel like what she says is important, and if I don't listen to her, then i'm wrong or something bad will happen to me. do you agree? what should i do? i feel like if i try to get over her, then i will be viewed as "wrong"
2006-11-01 11:55:08 · 8 answers · asked by Yvette S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You are not wrong if you dont listen or believe her. I think that in your heart you know what is right, and you should stick by it. She doesnt sound very mature if she has to bully to get her point across. I can't imagine how frustrating it is for you though- especially since they are in your family. But stand up for yourself and be strong, because ultimately youre the one who has to live with the decisons you make- not her. And she certainly does not have your best interest in heart.
2006-11-01 12:16:01 · answer #1 · answered by its_just_me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gosh, Yvette, it's kind of like treading on shaky ground giving family advice like I'm about to give, but I'll give it my best shot. The old saying "You can pick your friends but you can't pick your family" is so true. It sounds like you feel you don't have anyone in your family that you can speak to about this girl, so you're going to have to handle her yourself.
First of all, it has been my experience that bullies are really very insecure people. I've learned that standing up to them generally makes them back down and show more respect for you. It sounds like you're the only one she hasn't won over, so she's being negative when she talks to you. Thinking what she says is important is just what she wants you to think.
You do not have to listen to or believe what she's saying. She's just trying to make you feel bad because she's insecure. I'll bet she doesn't even realize that she's doing it.
Since I don't know exactly what's going on there (except that you're afraid to cross her), I can only suggest that every time, and I do mean every time, she has something negative to say you should try to come up with something positive. If you can't think of anything, then start throwing one simple question at her. "I think I know what you mean, but why do you feel that way?" By not speaking up and making her explain her negativity, you probably give her the impression that you have no opinions of your own. Could it be that she's speaks of things that you don't know enough about to have an opinion?
Now, if it's a case where there are only a couple of topics that she continually gives you negative information about, perhaps you could do some research and become knowledgeable on them. Then you can form your own opinions and maybe even be able to show her the positive side. Never forget that knowledge is power. Give it a whirl...you may gain the girl's respect.
If, after you try doing what I suggest (if you do), the girl continues to behave the way she does then you should probably try to spend as little time alone with her as possible.
Please don't ever feel that just having a different opinion from someone else makes you wrong. What a dull world this would be if everyone agreed on everything. Look at this girl like a challenge for you to dare to be different, an independent thinker.
Most important of all, you have the right to be who you are. Exercise that right at every opportunity.
Keep your chin up...you're not wrong just because somebody has a stronger opinion than yours!!!!
2006-11-01 13:14:02 · answer #2 · answered by Ann F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HELL NO!
I'll tell you now, NEVER EVER let ANYONE walk over you.
You walk straight up to that b*tch and tell her to shove everything she's ever said to you up her as$ tell her you don't give a sh*t what she says because she obviously spends a lot of her time thinking about you if she goes out of her way to bring you down.
Treat her the EXACT same way she treats you.
If you believe everything she says about you, your only making enemies with yourself.
2006-11-01 11:59:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should sit down with one of the older people in the family and discuss this with them and hopefully they will understand, and they might talk to the rest of the family about her and things MIGHT get resolved.
2006-11-01 11:59:41 · answer #4 · answered by Lexie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Method: one million: Take a calculator. two: Do a few math. three: Put the calculator away. four: Take a knife. five: Cut up a carrot. 6: Kick the men nuts. Man, he seems like a ****, simply forget about him but when he keeps, use the above process.
2016-09-01 05:48:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time take a rolled up newspaper to her, and with a firm tone of voice say "No! No!"
2006-11-01 11:57:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell your parents
2006-11-01 11:57:21 · answer #7 · answered by acierman2006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't let her run your life
2006-11-01 12:13:07 · answer #8 · answered by Bren 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋