My husband asked me to share my deepest and most secret sexual fantasy. He told me his (it was disgusting!!), so I told him mine was to have a romantic/erotic encounter with a gorgeous 14yo boy with dark hair and eyes who looks a bit like actor Skandar Keynes.
He found this hilarious, and has been laughing about it ever since. He keeps making vulgar jokes about going to the local high school to get a date, and says Skandar is a weird looking kid, and if I'm going to lust after boys 20yrs younger, could I at least pick one that isn't an ugmo?
The trouble is when he thinks something is funny, he generally likes to share the joke with others, and now I'm scared he is going to tell other people about it.
How can I make him shut up about it, and how do I get over feeling betrayed by him, because at the moment I feel extremely hurt and angry with him.
2006-11-01 11:51:33 · 24 answers · asked by Jadis, Queen of Narnia 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds to me like you have a husband that sort of expected he would be involved in your fantasy. When he wasn't this is is horrible way of getting back.
If he is not normally a jerk this hit him hard. And in order to get around it he has to make fun.
In reality no man wants to think the woman he loves fantasies about other men, let alone boys.
Tell him that you trusted him with this and he has hurt you. Tell him because of this you may not be able to trust him again with anything. He has been extremely insensitive to you. It is bad enough that he laughs at it but to share it around is inexcusable.
2006-11-01 12:17:29 · answer #1 · answered by John B 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I really can't add much to the advice you've been given. You say that you don't want to be a whore in the bedroom, and that my dear, is the root of your problem. We want our wives to be whores in the bedroom. Not only that, but there's nothing wrong with it. It's a good and healthy thing. You will not save your marriage by being old fashioned when it comes to sex, you'll only succeed at killing it. There was a time that men had to put up with cold fish, but since the 60's when women discovered they, too, were sexual beings and enjoyed their sexuality we have the option of trading up if our wives don't want to play. The porn is not your problem. You are your problem, worry about solving that. If you do, realize that the porn will never go away, nor should it, but you can use it together to enhance your sex lives. Good luck, I fear you have a long road ahead of you.
2016-05-23 08:38:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, sit him down and tell him, it wasn't a joke when you and he decided to share and that it isn't a joke to you now and if he wants to continue that you are going to tell everyone his nasty fantasy and you are going to deny anything he says by saying he is making it all up. What he is doing is the worst kind of betrayal and he needs to understand that! I'd get him out of the marriage bed and make him stay out until he promises to treat you with respect. Fantasies are just that and people don't act on them and intimate details shared with your lover, your mate is sacred and he needs to understand that or he won't share it at all. You will not acknowledge anything he says to anyone about it and you will with hold all intimacy with him until he acts like he is your lover and mate and I would ask for an apology too. Show him this forum. It might open his eyes if not his heart.
2006-11-01 13:27:57 · answer #3 · answered by MISS-MARY 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well there are two ways to handle this.....You could try telling him to grow up and that this is the reason WHY you should have never told him ANYTHING about your fantasy and that is all it is...a fantasy. Or....tell him that is NOT your real fantasy but you said it just to see how he would react....and he has done just what you thought he would do....I know but its just a little White lie....and it sounds like you are dealing with a child ( no pun intended lol) here so think of it as yes there is a Santa Claus lol
Best of luck
2006-11-01 12:07:29 · answer #4 · answered by oldman 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I too have been in a similar situation and it is a feeling of despair, I am sorry that you have experience this situation with some one that you love and trusted. I would first confront him openly about how he has treated you and remind him of the trust that you both have together. explain to him your fear of him sharing it with another and how that would make you feel. if this doesn't work then I suggestion that you take your problem to a counselor because there is more than just his humiliation and ridicule that needs to be addressed. His behavior is very immature and he needs to be more respectful of your feelings. What you 2 share with each other is your business and needs to be respected by both. Everyone has fantasies that they don't act on that is what makes them erotic and enjoyable. be true to your self.
2006-11-01 12:07:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can point out to him that he is going to get as close to sex as tha fantasy 14 year old is in the near future until he shuts the hell up and apologizes. You can also add that you now know that you cannot have an honest discussion with a child.
2006-11-01 12:45:22 · answer #6 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A "jerk " is just gonna be what he/she is...a jerk ! Unfortunately for you though that this one just happens to be your husband. However, as far as your situation goes; what more can you really do than to simply sit him down and atempt to press home to him just how much it means to you that the personal-matters between you two, should remain between you two. And how that you would feel terribly betrayed & emotionaly -injured if ever he were to be so distrusting, disrepectful & insensative as to openly discuss your secrets with others. Let him also know how that for him to do so would really have a negative-effect on your prespective of him as a person & deffinately as your so-called "better-half" (husband).
Wish u luck!
2006-11-01 12:16:53 · answer #7 · answered by anthony J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grab him by his shirt right now and tell him to shut up, and listen. Remind him that he asked you a question that was supposed to be your deepest secret! and now he's acting like a jerk. Tell him you will never confide in him ever again, and let that simmer for about oh 2 days, with the lid off. He will be begging forgiveness real soon! Oh yeah! No nookie either!
2006-11-01 11:59:38 · answer #8 · answered by delux_version 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him exactly what you said here. If he cares, he will get it, and not laugh anymore, AND most importantly, not share it with anyone else. If he is immature and doesn't care....well then, you have more of a problem than just sharing your fantasy.
I wish you had asked if you SHOULD share it before you did, I would have told you not too. I did that once and regretted it. Your fantasies are private and are intended for an audience of one.....YOU. Please remember that you don't have to share everything with your mate.
2006-11-01 12:02:21 · answer #9 · answered by littleflower_57 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello Pink, Tell him ,,,,,,,,,"We need to talk",,,,,, tell him Pink that you told him something personal and secret and that he is truly hurting your feelings by making a Big Joke about it. Tell him that you would greatly appreciate it if he would stop hurting your feelings most excruciatinlgly by stop talking about the subject 100 % . And that also means in public as well. You need to let him know Pink. I know that this is easier said than done. Good Luck.
2006-11-01 12:06:37 · answer #10 · answered by Ann 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋