Okay another song i wrote...i think its okay but this is the first song i ever wrote without rhyming it in the verses, but everyone here tells me to stop rhyming for once so i tried it...is it good??
------------
[verse 1]
It's Not The Way You Look At Me
It's The Way You Present Yourself
I've Never Seen This Side Of You
Please Stop Your Faking Now
---------------
[verse 2]
Dream Of A Better Day
Coming Around The Corner
Just Maybe, You'd Need This
To Help You From Your Fall
------------------
[chorus]
I Love You
But You Don't Love Me Back
I Hate You
Hate's Not Something You Lack
-----------------
And Here I Am Again...
------------------
[
verse 3]
I'm Drunk Off Your Kiss
Now This Needs To Stop
But Will You Hold My Hand?
Once More Before I Leave?
--------------
[verse 4]
I Didn't Mean To Start This
But I Died Over Your Kiss
You Stole Something I Need Back
Won't You Give My Heart Back?
[chorus again]
2006-11-01 11:18:53 · 16 answers · asked by Kelsey's Mommy<3 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
seems better than most of the crap that I hear
2006-11-01 11:24:07 · answer #1 · answered by Joni J 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my opinion i dont get verse 3 or the chorus but the other is great
2006-11-01 19:21:18 · answer #2 · answered by latina chick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice lyrics! Seems like its gonna sound good!
2006-11-01 19:21:37 · answer #3 · answered by stephanie. 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mushy, emotional crap. It'll sell like crazy. We could be rich... keep writing.
2006-11-02 16:53:56 · answer #4 · answered by DJFresh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cool sing.
2006-11-01 19:25:25 · answer #5 · answered by B rabit 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i haven't seen any of ur other work but i think i'd like to read ur rhymes
2006-11-01 19:22:44 · answer #6 · answered by Nora G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it. It shows a good message.
2006-11-01 19:22:08 · answer #7 · answered by XOXOkrazykittyXOXO 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is actually pretty tight. email me at missym656@yahoo.com. i'd love to hear more of ur songs.
2006-11-01 22:26:58 · answer #8 · answered by NoBody 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it....put it with an upbeat tempo...it could be hot.
2006-11-01 19:21:37 · answer #9 · answered by Mystie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't quit your day job
2006-11-01 19:21:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋