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my best friend is engaged. she is 21 and he is 19
she has a job he cant keep one. he tries to controll her and she allows him. when i ask her if she loves him enough to marry him she hesitates to answer. and she is constantly asking if she should marry him. so should she?

2006-11-01 10:58:12 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

16 answers

Only She will figure that one out for herself.
I was in the same situation in my 20's and I married him.
I had the job, he didn't.
We never had children.
He alway thought I was cheating.
He started to become abusive and drank.
I got out 2 years later.
It all wasn't worth it!
but once again. It will be her decision only!!

2006-11-01 11:24:41 · answer #1 · answered by Dori 2 · 0 0

NO!!! she shudnt!!!! i almost did that and am thanking god i didnt cuz im now happily married to a wonderful man and if i wud have married the other guy i wud be controlled, he wud be living off of me and iwud have nolife....it seems hard to break up at the time but trust me there is something better for her something she deserves...ppl asked me the same question and i hesitated too or i said we will make it work...now being happily married i see the differnce i am confident to say i made the right decision!

2006-11-01 11:14:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

First of all I do agree with getting married at 19 to begin with. I was 22 when i got married, but my husband and I had lived together for 3 years prior.

Unfortunately, if you object to this marriage and your friend is serious about the marriage you are going to alienate your friend. So just be a good friend to her and support her, then when it falls apart you be there to help her pick up the pieces!

2006-11-01 11:07:19 · answer #3 · answered by April M 3 · 0 0

If he's not able to support himself and a wife..possibly children, then he's not ready to get married. Plain and simple. He's only 19 for goodness sakes...how successful do you think he should be at that age. Give the relationship a few years of trial and error in life before talking marriage. K? Love and Peace.

2006-11-01 11:06:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

So, can ya find out something.. Who is giving this friend the idea she's got to get married? is it her idea? I'm thinkin' it sounds like somebody's putting it in her brain.. (her mama maybe? her family?) What's up w/this? I am thinking if she's listening to HIM (she doesn't want to marry him.. what for? why? he's a loser jerk.. and you know it, right? sure) Anyhow, figure out who in the hell is givin' this girl this bad advice! I dont think it is this guy (for some reason.. my intuition's kickin' in..) He isn't doing s*it for one thing. (I mean he's got a 'good thing/scam goin' right NOW' without marrying this friend.. why marry her? ) I ain't knockin' this girl or anything.. (it's him and her interferin' friends/family I am criticizing!) My family messes me over too (or did the same stuff to me!) I got talked into getting married to a real loser who took drugs when I was fresh/ripe outta college.. (I've been payin' for it ever since, since I got pregnant and the kids turned out fine, but he never paid child supp. IF he could get outta it and they still say he is a real distant(dork.) So see? If she's doubtful now, down the road.. well, it's not a pretty picture. YOU be a real friend to this girl, alright? I mean it! You got the right idea.. now do something good and listen to me! luv ya- mel

2006-11-01 11:10:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

You already know the answer is no.
Having a stability and trust in a relationship is most important your friends has neither.
If this is the honeymoon period image what its going to be like in a few years.
Your friend need to get out now before there's kids involved

2006-11-01 11:03:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Next time she asks you respond with something like this...
"you know, if you are asking the question, then you arn't ready and then the best thing to do is to not do it"

This relationship is trouble.
Anything that is trouble before a marriage becomes worse.

Your friend needs to higher her standards

2006-11-01 11:07:13 · answer #7 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0 0

Be honest with her tell her exactly what you think. If she's not a 100% about getting married don't do it. Plus she has a full life ahead of her. If she working he should be working

2006-11-01 11:05:10 · answer #8 · answered by fiestylady 3 · 0 0

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO definately not. It sounds as though he enjoys living on Easy Street. Nothing is going to improve in their relationship, what she has now is a true indication of her future with him. She should quit while she can.

2006-11-01 11:06:13 · answer #9 · answered by jammer 6 · 0 0

She knows she shouldn't - unfortunately women do have a strong urge totry and change a man.... he has to do that for himself!
The only man a woman is going to change is a man who's wearing a diaper!

2006-11-01 11:06:03 · answer #10 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0 0

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