Is it wrong to dislike my parents?

Question

I'm always kicking myself over this but I just don'tl ike my parents, I love them yes but only in a loyal way and obviously I'd do anything for them, but I always find them ignorant and unsupportaive, is it really bad to think this as we do not have anything in common at all, when we see each other we have nothing to say as we have nothing in common at all, Christmas day has been more or less silence for about 10 years now, should I skip going home and not be greated by the usual "what do you want to go there for" "why do you want to do that its stupid" "you could have done that years ago aren't you to old for that now" rubbish?

Answer 1

I don't think it's wrong.I often dislike my parents for the way they are.As you become an adult you realise that the things they say or do are not always likeable.In terms of personality and 'values' I have done everything I can to be the opposite of my parents.Having said that I do still love them as they love me but you can't always be on the same 'wavelength' as them.Don't beat yourself up over it.

Answer 2

I had a very strange relationship with my parents for almost my whole life. Like u, I loved my parents and I'd do anything for them, but it was like I didn't belong to that family... It all changed when I started to spend more time with them (without my brother around) and I finally got to know them at all....
Now I can say that they are just the most incredible and amazing parents and couple ever.... Our relationship is so great now.... Even being so far away from them, I know that the distance won't ruin this special bond that I have with them now.
I think you could try one more talk with them and try to say EVERYTHING that you feel (the best way possible) about them, and see if you can work everything out.

GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 3

If that's how you feel then it is not a question of right or wrong it is just a fact. You respect them and love them and that is all you can do, I don't think you should beat yourself up. There are reasons to hate parents two friends of mine (brothers) have been badly beaten throughout their life by their father, their mother pretends it doesn't happen and spoilt them, now they got a valid reason for hating their parents, but they still kind of love them. Just be glad you only have a different outlook on life, and try not to loose touch with them altogether I reckon, you might find them easier to live with in ten years time or what ever.

Answer 4

Respect your parents. Just give your deaf ears when you do not like the way they are behaving. Some time that's the way are from their childhood. it some time can be difficult to change them. If they can meet other parents and find out how they behave may have a chance for them to realise how they behave with you. If you have a good friend who can put on a act in front of your parents, like show them what real love and affection they parents shows him or tell them how things with his parents. It may give them a chance to realise. Well if nothing work you just have to accept them as they are and make your visit less but phone them to see if they are OK or need any help.

Answer 5

If you have trouble communicating with your parents, be honest and tell them! I'm sure they are just as miserable about it as you are. Convention is a terrible thing. Families are forced together at Christmas because they think they SHOULD be, not because they WANT to be. Why don't you suggest alternate Christmases until they adjust if you can't bear cutting them out completely? The thought of spending Christmas with my mother is awful so we stay apart by choice. No one cares where you go once New Year is over so do your own thing. As an adult, you should be with family/friends of your choosing. Do you want to spend the rest of your life thinking about doing other things but going along with convention? PLEASE DON'T WASTE YOUR LIFE BEING MISERABLE!

Answer 6

No, it's not wrong to dislike them. I went through a terrible time when I realised that my parents were not the people I had always believed them to be, I had bad relationships with them and never felt I could talk, I didn't think they understood me or anything about me and I couldn't see the point in talking as I knew that I'd be wasting my breath. It was really hard, until I just learnt to accept them for who and what they are and not the people I wanted them to be! They are and always will be your parents, that wont change. You love them and behave as any dutiful son would, good for you. You are also entitled to be you and to be accepted and supported the way that you are with your freedom of choice intact. Retain your sense of self always, don't let them make you feel down, ignore the negative comments, know that they love you and are proud of you in their own way and accept that their negative outlook may never change, keep loving them and forgive them for their ignorance. You will be fine. Good luck and love xx

Answer 7

That's an old story as many children see their folks that way! Your view on life and events are simply different than theirs! Belive it or not they love you more than you know, you are their child, they only want the best for you! Do like the rest of us, take as a grain of salt, and enjoy them as they may not be around to long! One day you may well realize this, I hope your not to late when you do! You may even find they have been right a time or so!

Answer 8

Well, I think there is nothing you can do about liking or disliking anybody, including your parents. Feelings are unfortunately something we cannot control, so we are not responsible for most of them. However you are responsible for your actions. You should be nice to them, even if you don`t like them, because it is ethically and morally the right thing to do, and because you will like your son to be nice to you too when you get old.
Remember that some people say that feelings can either precede OR follow the actions, in other words: you can LOVE some one, so you will treat him nicely, or you can treat him nicely, and them you will love him. So LOVE and HATE in fact are not words, they are verbs. So if you begin to be nice you your parents, you will find yourself loving them more.
So I guess you should not skip going to visit them this Christmas, and try to be patient with them. Best luck.

Answer 9

I think everyone has that moment in life when they dislike their parents and I think one overcomes it with age. My parents are very similar to yours. While mine help me financially, they've never been supportive in anything i've done and they've not been present in several of the happier times in my life.

I feel you'll come to a moment in life when you'll just begin to ignore it and it'll stop bothering you.That's exactly what's happened to me. I've learned to accept the reality so in turn it doesn't bite me back too hard.

But like i said, it's ok to dislike your parents and have nothing in common with them, everyone feels like that at one time or another. At the same time, I wouldnt advice you to skip going home, just be patient and things may eventually settle down.

All in all, just keep yourself surrounded by positive people, people who support you nonstop, whether they be friends or different family memebers. It'll definitely keep you going!

Hope that helps.
Good luck!

Answer 10

You have to sort of respect them because they're your elders. You don't have to love them. And you don't have to like them.
Neither do you have to spend christmas day with them.
Tell them that this year you are turning a new leaf, stay home on Christmas day and visit them on Boxing Day. If nothing else they will have something different to tell you this year.