where does self confidence come from? and what makes you as a person, self confident?

Question

and im not looking for a bloddy essay

Answer 1

There is an excellent free download for confidence available from the following site:

Answer 2

Self confidence comes from being happy with who you are and being self assured that you like who you are as a person and have great qualities. It is built up by experiences where you prove to yourself that you could do something, or people tell you that your good at something or compliment you in other ways.

Answer 3

Get a sparkling haircut, a sparkling shirt or denims, spend time on a daily basis exterior strolling or an outside interest & consume wholesome. next step be your self & do communicate with people. they'll think of you're caught up in case you do no longer communicate. i've got been there. A instructor as quickly as informed me to assert something and if it sounds kinda stupid in basic terms giggle at your self. climate is the terrific verbal replace maker. you additionally can communicate approximately something you will possibly have considered on the information or heard on the radio. it is the terrific time of your existence. have faith on your information & character. locate sturdy characteristics approximately your self & attempt helping people. you will meet extra people and make extra acquaintances by capacity of offering a helping hand to others.

Answer 4

self confidence comes from self affirmation.... you are confident in school if you have received good grades in the past. you are confident with women if they have told you that you were good in bed, or you have had beautiful girlfriends in the past. everything in life is all about self affirmation and proving yourself in a world of uncertainties.

Answer 5

For me, self confidence comes from understanding (I am not speaking of scholarly attainments type of understanding, but an inner understanding of things, which also has other good results), which enables me to see things that are hidden from others.

Answer 6

Success is great. Going on with life after failure is better.
If you can survive anything, then you can relax enough to reach for more.
Been there, done that.
Cyclically.

Answer 7

Typically, we speak about self-confidence as though it has an existence independent of us - as though it can be purchased in a shop. Unfortunately, self-confidence does not come in packages in shops! Self-confidence is not something that is "out there" waiting to be acquired.

There is a big danger associated with adopting the mind set that self-confidence is like a "thing". It quickly leads us down the track of not only engaging in a negative self-characterisation, but also treating this characterisation as though it is a "fixed property" of ourself. "This is the way I am, I am not confident, I do not have the confidence to do this" and possibly going one step further to criticising ourself for not being confident enough. Of course, this does not leave us in a very productive emotional space.

So what is self-confidence, or more particularly, lack of self-confidence? Labelling ourself as lacking in self-confidence involves making an assessment that we are- not able to do something, or take effective action, in a certain area of life. Typically we have generalised from a few past experiences and made a global judgement of ourself, and given ourself the label of being a person lacking in confidence per se.

Unfortunately, we do not observe that we are using language in a certain way to trap ourselves, and in so doing come to regard ourselves as "being this way" without believing that we can be different. Much of our potential for living a more fulfilling life, and also contributing more to others, becomes lost as a result of being trapped in this "linguistic well'. So what is going on? How come we do this to ourselves?

A number of points can be made about how this web is spun in language. When speaking of self-confidence, we are always engaged in the linguistic action of making an assessment (an opinion or judgement). Somewhere in our life we have come to the opinion that we do not have the confidence to do certain things. We then treat that opinion as though it was fact - set in concrete and assign the label of "low self-confidence" to ourselves.

We make some interesting linguistic manoeuvres in doing this. Typically there is a silent self-conversation along the lines of "I cannot do something therefore 1 must lack confidence". In doing this we create a story called "lack of self-confidence" to explain why we could not conduct ourself in some way in the past.

However, the plot gets thicker, as another linguistic process comes into play whereby we use the story as an explanation for not being able to do something in the future. "I cannot do this because 1 lack confidence". The negative self-characterisation becomes fact and takes a hold of us. It is as if we become possessed by lack of self-confidence and thus we think if we can get some confidence we will improve. We have engaged in what can be regarded as an insidious process of making a negative self-characterisation of ourself, around which we build a very convincing story, and then proceed in life as if it were true! So we do a superb job weaving a spell around ourselves.

Self-confidence, and lack of self-confidence, is always emotional. Lack of self-confidence is often associated with the emotion of fear. When we live in fear we are making an assessment that we do not feel safe and that some damage (emotional and/or physical) could be done to us. With self-confidence, typically we assess that we will be damaged by others' negative assessments about our behaviour or "performance", and we will not be able to live with these.

We were not born with negative opinions of ourselves; they were not innately part of us. We learned them, and we learned them in language, and as a result these opinions have an emotional hold on us. It is as if we have cast a spell upon ourself!

How can we escape this spell? One of the keys is to be very clear about which circumstance in life we are not able to do, or engage in, the type of behaviour we would like. There will be many areas of life in which we engage very successfully in doing things without thinking about them - we just do them. So we are not lacking in self-confidence in everything in life.

Secondly, we can observe what we do when we make an assessment. When we have an assessment or opinion, either about ourselves or others, it is always made with reference to some standards or criteria. When our behaviour does not match those standards we will have a negative assessment. Where do we get these standards from? Not from shops, but from what we have learned in our dealings with others. But we are rarely aware of these standards, how we acquired them and whether they are still relevant for us. How would we know if we were confident in some particular area of life - what standards would we be meeting?

Thirdly, taking action is the major component of breaking the spell. It is ironic that we do not act with greater self-confidence by becoming more self-confident (remember, self-confidence does not come in packets!). Rather, it is through taking different action that we become more self-confident, often accompanied by the care and support of others. However, small steps are the key.

The Chinese saying "The thousand mile journey starts with the first step" sums up what we are wanting to convey here. What is the smallest possible thing we could do that would satisfy our standards of beginning to behave in a more self-confident manner?

As biological entitles humans evolve and learn and grow, and this happens gradually. Learning is a steady and gradual process at first, which can accelerate once we have made our first steps. Change typically happens in small incremental stages. One small step for our person-kind begins to build a different story about how we can we gradually engage in certain behaviours in different areas of life.

To conclude, here are some guidelines for you to conduct your own "action research'. Think of an area or circumstance in life in which you would like to be more confident. What is the common emotion(s) you experience about this circumstance? Identify the standards you are Judging yourself against, and then develop a list of the smallest possible behaviours you could begin to engage in which would be the first steps of your journey.